I've been best friends with this girl since my sophomore year of high school (I'm a freshman now). I started liking her during my junior year, and fell really hard for her, but of course she wouldn't have anything to do with me like that. I thought I might have finally gotten over her after about a year and a half, but it was always in the back of my mind, and tonight I finally realized that I'm pretty hopeless. I feel so embarrassed to feel the kind of pain that I do over a girl that never even liked me back, but the relationship we had was very close and of course my feelings for her made that closeness all the more special to me. It's hard for me to shut her out of my life simply because she's basically the only one of my friends that I'm more than just another warm body to, but I feel like this is a disease that is crippling me and tainting the choices I make and the way I act. I thought it'd get better now that we've gone our separate ways. She's at Northwestern, and I'm going to a community college. The problem is that it's so damn hard to make friends here and I feel totally out of place. I come from a very nerdy/preppy kind of school and all the kids here either just came from China, have down syndrome, or are the thuggish type. I know there's no advice that can really help me fix this and that I just have to be a man and cope and move on, but I just wanted to get this out.