Sweetest revenge you ever took?

Mammoth

I should be working.
OT Supporter
Jun 2, 2005
26,432
Michigan
A few years back I was at a local casino. Place was packed. If you wanted a seat at a table, you had to put your name in at a desk and they'd page you when there was an opening. I got fed up waiting for a table so I went to the slots. Problem was, those were busy, too. You had to stand in line 2-3 people deep just to get to a machine. So I stand in line behind this slot machine, and after what seemed like an eternity, the person gets up to leave. I take a step back to let them out. And when I do, some other woman sitting 2 machines over literally jumps over the person sitting between us and steals my seat. I'm furious. But just then, my stomach starts acting up. I know what's coming. So I turn around, place my ass about 2 inches from the back of her head, and let out the biggest fart of my life. She turns around and glares at me appalled. I can barely speak because I'm laughing so hard. But I manage to spit out, "You've earned that seat now," as I scurry off to the restroom.
 
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wildflower

OT Supporter
May 17, 2002
121,713
No place for older men
I had a phys ed major live in the same dorm I was in.

He was an ass, and we all went to a quarry once to go swimming, and he would dive deep, come up underneath someone, and pull them down by their ankles.
He did it to me. I said "Nick you motherfucker. Do that again and I'll reach down and gouge your eyes out." He seemed upset that I should be so petty.

Anyway, we wound up fucking with each other off and on. During finals, he needed a five-page paper on the history of baseball, and he said he'd give me
$50 to write it for him. So I wrote it, gave it to him, he handed it in, and he told me no way he was giving me fifty bucks.

He got the paper back with a sentence circled in red right near the end. It said this: "And among the all-time baseball great are Mickey Mantle, Ty Cobb,
Babe Ruth, and Clutt Muekner." The instructor said - who the fuck is Clutt Muekner?

I said - meh, some guy I went to high school with. Boy, what an arm that guy had.
 

iLLt3ck

Well-Known Member
Aug 1, 2002
69,469
Pitted, so pitted
A few years back I was at a local casino. Place was packed. If you wanted a seat at a table, you had to put your name in at a desk and they'd page you when there was an opening. I got fed up waiting for a table so I went to the slots. Problem was, those were busy, too. You had to stand in line 2-3 people deep just to get to a machine. So I stand in line behind this slot machine, and after what seemed like an eternity, the person gets up to leave. I take a step back to let them out. And when I do, some other woman sitting 2 machines over literally jumps over the person sitting between us and steals my seat. I'm furious. But just then, my stomach starts acting up. I know what's coming. So I turn around, place my ass about 2 inches from the back of her head, and let out the biggest fart of my life. She turns around and glares at me appalled. I can barely speaking because I'm laughing so hard. But I manage to spit out, "You've earned that seat now," as I scurry off to the restroom.
119390.jpg
 

iLLt3ck

Well-Known Member
Aug 1, 2002
69,469
Pitted, so pitted
I was living in my first apartment and my upstairs neighbor was extremely sensitive to noise. I was playing Battlefield 1942 at a reasonable volume after work and he came down asking me to turn it down because it was bothering him. Ok, no problem - I turn it down and that's that. Anytime he heard anything going on below him he would jump up and down in response to make me aware of his displeasure.

The following week I get a knock on my door and it's two cops responding to a noise complaint at my apartment. I was actually playing the game right then and got up to answer the door so I invited them in to judge the volume for themselves. They both shook their heads and called the whole thing a waste of time because clearly I wasn't playing it at an unreasonable volume.

Our apartment complex has an EXTREMELY strict policy on parking in designated areas and assigned parking spaces. One freezing Sunday night my upstairs neighbor decided to park in my space so I waited until it was late that night, called the tow truck company and had his car removed. Then, I made sure to wake up early so I could hopefully catch a glimpse of his reaction.

He walks down the stairwell the next morning and out into the parking lot looking for his truck - panics - then throws his briefcase down in a huff when he realizes that his truck was gone and the space was empty. Full meltdown ensues. Feels good man.
 

Napkin

OT Supporter
Feb 13, 2005
9,350
Chick I was seeing wouldn't sleep with me for the dumbest reason ever but she would always tell me her sister thought I was cute but don't even try talking to her. Banged the sister instead.
 
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Dismay

Super Swell Guy
OT Supporter
May 23, 2000
54,278
SoCalish
Was camping locally and some drunk vato thought it would be fun to do laps as fast as he could around the campground in is Dodge Ram Daytona edition. After a few high speed laps some other campers asked him to stop and he responded by threatening them and trying to fight.

So all that calms down eventually.


Around midnight I was out walking and looking at the stars and come across his campsite. So I took the liberty to lodge a small pebble in is valve stem so the air leaked out. Walked by his campsite the next morning and he was replacing the tire with a spare. :mamoru:
 

Zimmy76

I like my beer like I like my violence, domestic
Nov 15, 2001
13,813
When i was a teenager i put white shoe polish over all a co-workers car window, heard he almost cried, he was a conplete douche.

Now that I'm older i just cut shitty people out of my life, and not to sound conceited but I'm a good friend to have.
 
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herpes

OT Supporter
Jun 4, 2005
142,552
dfw
In middle school art class a kid burned me with a soldering iron when we were making stained glass. He refused to apologize.

So I went home and made a dos batch file that looked like a game where you would kill barney the dinosaur. Once you hit start game it basically formatted every drive attached to the computer, including the floppy.

I gave it to him the next day on a floppy and two days later he's crying and I ask him why.

He ran the game on his dad's work laptop and his dad lost EVERYTHING.

I never told him it was me.
 

Ron

OT Supporter
Sep 21, 2003
156,844
When Halo 2 came out a guy headshootered me and then did the squatting on my corpse thing. Next round I ran over him and he quit. I’ve been chasing that high ever since.
Teabagging
 

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