CREW SRS The all inclusive parenting thread v. Exhaustion/suicidal thoughts/moments of happiness

[kwhitelaw]

Feeling everyone's pain on this page with the sleeping issues, we had minor ones but at almost 8 months now she's sleeping from 7-8pm until 530-6am straight through

We've moved up from the Merlin sleep suit to their sleep sack which doesn't seem to really do much but subconsciously I think it's helpful. That and she's transitioned onto her stomach now and knocks out in minutes it seems. We also keep an iPad in there with fairly loud ocean waves crashing in the background

 

[Sp33dealer]

In on this crew. Wife gave birth to twin boys nearly 7 months ago, and it's been an adventure so far. We both feel extremely fortunate that they were born healthy and at a good size without any major issues, and continue to be healthy, bubbly little boys. That is so often not the case with twins. Just the other day we heard a story about two twins boys of a friend of ours' who were both born under 2 pounds. I cannot fucking imagine...

Going through this thread has made me feel a lot better about certain things, so thanks for posting y'all

Two pros, two cons:

Pros - Cute kids with cute smiles, and my wife is super happy with our life now

Cons - Sheer, unadulterated chaos that never ends. Weekends don't feel like weekends anymore and the persistent exhaustion is real

Overall I give it an 8/10. Probably won't do it again, but I can't fucking wait for these kids to grow up so we can all run around with my dog and talk about stuff.

This is from the other day when we had to put the bigger one in baby jail:

You may want to lower the mattress soon. We put ours at the very bottom and at first I was mad at myself for doing that because I felt it was overkill but the peace of mind is nice

 

[Ron]

You may want to lower the mattress soon. We put ours at the very bottom and at first I was mad at myself for doing that because I felt it was overkill but the peace of mind is nice

They stand up all of a sudden, we lowered ours when we found him climbing on it one morning

If they start crawling I’d drop it shortly after

 

[oftenly]

You may want to lower the mattress soon. We put ours at the very bottom and at first I was mad at myself for doing that because I felt it was overkill but the peace of mind is nice

Yep, that's probably gonna happen in the next few weeks, as soon as they can start moving vertically. Just a major pain in the ass the way it's built

 

[oftenly]

if I try to stay up longer my wife doesn’t have it and sends me to bed

My wife and I have had legitimate arguments about this, haha. She's careful to let me help without allowing me to become a martyr, which is nice. It can be hard to return the favor though, she has some kind of hormone where she doesn't need nearly as much sleep as she used to

The sleep schedule thing started to level out for us around 2 months. It gets easier!

 

[BStork]

My wife and I have had legitimate arguments about this, haha. She's careful to let me help without allowing me to become a martyr, which is nice. It can be hard to return the favor though, she has some kind of hormone where she doesn't need nearly as much sleep as she used to

The sleep schedule thing started to level out for us around 2 months. It gets easier!

I'm a low sleep operator. I can be real tired and still function / be in a good mood.

 

[Colleen]

Our first was a semi emergency C-section and then after that they just recommended all c-sections. But still, carrying them was rough on her.

Ohhh yah I can imagine. The last pregnancy I had If I laughed or moved the wrong way I was close to peeing myself the things they dont tell you about pregnancy

 

[camaudio]

If I laughed or moved the wrong way I was close to peeing myself

Aren't all women like that all the time anyways.

 

[Jd]

In on this crew. Wife gave birth to twin boys nearly 7 months ago, and it's been an adventure so far. We both feel extremely fortunate that they were born healthy and at a good size without any major issues, and continue to be healthy, bubbly little boys. That is so often not the case with twins. Just the other day we heard a story about two twins boys of a friend of ours' who were both born under 2 pounds. I cannot fucking imagine...

Going through this thread has made me feel a lot better about certain things, so thanks for posting y'all

Two pros, two cons:

Pros - Cute kids with cute smiles, and my wife is super happy with our life now

Cons - Sheer, unadulterated chaos that never ends. Weekends don't feel like weekends anymore and the persistent exhaustion is real

Overall I give it an 8/10. Probably won't do it again, but I can't fucking wait for these kids to grow up so we can all run around with my dog and talk about stuff.

This is from the other day when we had to put the bigger one in baby jail:

You only experience this moment once and it comes & goes in record time.

Try not to wish them growing up too fast.
Once they learn how to walk & talk, it's a whole new level of chaos.

 

[kwhitelaw]

ugh this talk about taking shifts lol

wife would give the baby her bedtime bottle, I'd have the monitor through the night cause wife needs her straight through sleep or she's a terror. I'd get the baby up when wife went to work and have her all day til around 4pm. now that wife isn't working anymore, I still have her the same frequency

gonna need to renegotiate

 

[Leonard Washington]

You only experience this moment once and it comes & goes in record time.

Try not to wish them growing up too fast.
Once they learn how to walk & talk, it's a whole new level of chaos.

.

I try to savor the tiny fingers and toes moments and her being a snuggly little baby. I swear when I see her after a work day, every day she looks a bit different and older. Yeah the no sleep and crazy poops and spit up everywhere sucks but I’ll miss this stage.

 

[Colleen]

Aren't all women like that all the time anyways.

Youre not wrong lol I didnt have any long term effects from my babies, no tearing, pee issues or that many stretch marks. I have friends who tell me they cant pee straight anymore or that ripped feom their vagina to butt they just make pregnacy out to be this heavenly amazing gift and that were going to be glowing and love it all. When in reality most of us now hate our bodies and have PPD that is still not thought of as OK.


/rant

 

[8legs]

I pee a little when I cough or sneeze too hard or unexpectedly. When I'm no longer locked down with toddler duty I'm sure I'm going to sneeze in the grocery store without the right equipment and leave mortified.

 

[Colleen]

I pee a little when I cough or sneeze too hard or unexpectedly. When I'm no longer locked down with toddler duty I'm sure I'm going to sneeze in the grocery store without the right equipment and leave mortified.

Yah my mom had a bladder lift in her 40s for that reason, she still has the odd issue but she had big babies and I didnt... so im hoping im good :0

 

[DasVWBabe]

Youre not wrong lol I didnt have any long term effects from my babies, no tearing, pee issues or that many stretch marks. I have friends who tell me they cant pee straight anymore or that ripped feom their vagina to butt they just make pregnacy out to be this heavenly amazing gift and that were going to be glowing and love it all. When in reality most of us now hate our bodies and have PPD that is still not thought of as OK.


/rant

I only had a tiny baby duck, but fuck the damage that pregnancy and childbirth caused, in the short term and the long term.

I had a due-date group I joined when I was pregnant and I learned some horrifying shit while chicks were giving birth a few months ahead of me. By the time it was my turn I was pretty traumatized, but ready for it.

 

[The Grand Inquisitor]

Anyone else’s MIL an absolute case study for anxiety?

sorta. Both my mom and MIL.

 

[DasVWBabe]

I pee a little when I cough or sneeze too hard or unexpectedly. When I'm no longer locked down with toddler duty I'm sure I'm going to sneeze in the grocery store without the right equipment and leave mortified.

Thinx. Or other period panties are like a constant way of life now.

 

[Colleen]

I only had a tiny baby duck, but fuck the damage that pregnancy and childbirth caused, in the short term and the long term.

I had a due-date group I joined when I was pregnant and I learned some horrifying shit while chicks were giving birth a few months ahead of me. By the time it was my turn I was pretty traumatized, but ready for it.

Oh man I'm with you.. I was in fear if tearing and it was traumatic for me thinking It would happen to me. Thankfully I had amazing midwifes who listened to me and we did hot compression and didnt rush anything. I was still sore, but recovery was easy. I remember going out two days after I had Leo shopping and all these women around me were like "wtf why are you walking around with a newborn?!?!"

I'm with the small percentage that has easy birth stories, except for the 40 something hour labour.

 

[Colleen]

Thinx. Or other period panties are like a constant way of life now.

Kegel Exercises for Pelvic Muscles – Urinary Incontinence

Improve urinary incontinence naturally with Kegel exercises.

www.webmd.com

I do these and have found it helps... I was diagnosed with an over active bladder when I was 16 so I'm very aware of making sure I keep those muscles working.

 

[The Grand Inquisitor]

I only had a tiny baby duck, but fuck the damage that pregnancy and childbirth caused, in the short term and the long term.

I had a due-date group I joined when I was pregnant and I learned some horrifying shit while chicks were giving birth a few months ahead of me. By the time it was my turn I was pretty traumatized, but ready for it.

Wife and I agree that we got unintentionally lucky with a scheduled c-section done by a very good doctor. Planned for a natural birth, but that went out of the window because of routine enough complications. In and out in minutes, and seemed to work out great for everyone involved.

 

[Remy Bressant]

Wife and I agree that we got unintentionally lucky with a scheduled c-section done by a very good doctor. Planned for a natural birth, but that went out of the window because of routine enough complications. In and out in minutes, and seemed to work out great for everyone involved.

First two were the old fashioned way
Third one was a c-section
Wife wishes she had just done the C-section for all three

 

[DasVWBabe]

Wife and I agree that we got unintentionally lucky with a scheduled c-section done by a very good doctor. Planned for a natural birth, but that went out of the window because of routine enough complications. In and out in minutes, and seemed to work out great for everyone involved.

I had a scheduled c-section, as well. The delivery itself was easy-peasy. But it complicated some other prior damage I had from another reproductive surgery and I had to have a classical c-section. They told me not to get pregnant again for at least 2 years or my uterus would likely rupture. Was already 39 when I had her, so we never had another. C-sections still do some crazy damage due to scarring.

 

[The Grand Inquisitor]

I had a scheduled c-section, as well. The delivery itself was easy-peasy. But it complicated some other prior damage I had from another reproductive surgery and I had to have a classical c-section. They told me not to get pregnant again for at least 2 years or my uterus would likely rupture. Was already 39 when I had her, so we never had another. C-sections still do some crazy damage due to scarring.

Yeah, it’s obviously never quite that simple. we are around the same age too and now still struggling with a possibility of trying for #2 again... realistic or not.

 

[DasVWBabe]

Yeah, it’s obviously never quite that simple. we are around the same age too and now still struggling with a possibility of trying for #2 again... realistic or not.

I know we've talked about it and . I know it's an impossible position to be in, but my only advice is to expect nothing. No planning. Just relish in the little family you've created and focus on your relationship 100%.

 

[deadbeef]

This is the last week of my initial parental leave. I go back to work December 20 - literally couldn't have planned this any better, no one is going to be "in the office" for at least 2 weeks.

On a related note: the hardest part about a second child is the first child