CREW SRS The all inclusive parenting thread v. Exhaustion/suicidal thoughts/moments of happiness

DasVWBabe

OT's Diamond and Gemstone Tutorial Creator
OT Supporter
Sep 25, 2002
62,993
Frisconia
I'm not glad I'm not alone, but I am a little relieved. Nightmares throw some seriously dark shit at a person. I don't know if it's better or worse that half of it doesn't even make sense. Just some mad onslaught of extreme dangers coming from random shit.

Ya'll I had a super vivid snake in the house coming after the kiddo nightmare last night. Soooooo, yeah. I feel you. Knowing I had a 29% chance of having a healthy, full term pregnancy (only after the fact) generated so many PPA related problems for me over the years. I almost feel like it would have been better for my long term mental health not knowing.
 

Claydus

Well-Known Member
Jul 2, 2001
9,096
Alpharetta, GA
Need to see what other parents are doing. I have a 5 year old and 2 year old.

Our weekends go like this:

7:00AM-8:00AM - Both kids wide awake and we let them play in the media/playroom in mornings. Oldest kid knows how to operate smart tv with netflix, primevideo and youtube
8:00AM-9:00AM - Wife and I start waking up and then fix kids breakfast.
9:00AM-11:30AM - Kids play upstairs or downstairs. They get whiney if both wife and i are not with them. So we are together till lunch.
11:30AM-12:30PM - Figure lunch plans. Either make something at home or run out to pickup lunch.
12:30PM-2:00PM - Youngest kid naptime. Oldest kid has quiet time in his room. Sometime wife and I use this as our personal time and chores time. But most of the time she catches up on work or her crafting.
2:00PM-5:30PM - Afternoon play time. Right now in the winter, it's miserable we all stay inside. Come spring time is should be better and kids can help outside with me. Also, spring/summer neighborhood walks also help to get their energy out.
5:30PM-6:30PM - Figure dinner plans. Either make something at home or run out to pickup dinner.
6:30PM-7:30PM - Bath time for kids. Youngest kid get put to bed.
7:30PM-8:30PM - We spend time with our oldest kid by playing with his toys.
8:30PM-9:00PM - Oldest kid get put to bed. We read books and talk about the next day. Most of the time he argue with him about going to bed. Gets up out of bed as soon as we tuck him in. We then proceed to tuck him in 2-3 more times.
9:00PM-11:00PM - Wife and I finally get some alone time. We watch a TV show together or do our own thing. Then we are usually in bed by 11:00PM and asleep by 11:30PM

Anyone else in school or preparing for work related certifications? I am having a difficult time balancing this with our routine at home. I hate putting any of this solely on my wife as we are a team when comes to parenting.
 
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Colleen

Well-Known Member
Apr 3, 2002
104,915
🇨🇦
Need to see what other parents are doing. I have a 5 year old and 2 year old.

Our weekends go like this:

7:00AM-8:00AM - Both kids wide awake and we let them play in the media/playroom in mornings. Oldest kid knows how to operate smart tv with netflix, primevideo and youtube
8:00AM-9:00AM - Wife and I start waking up and then fix kids breakfast.
9:00AM-11:30AM - Kids play upstairs or downstairs. They get whiney if both wife and i are not with them. So we are together till lunch.
11:30AM-12:30PM - Figure lunch plans. Either make something at home or run out to pickup lunch.
12:30PM-2:00PM - Youngest kid naptime. Oldest kid has quiet time in his room. Sometime wife and I use this as our personal time and chores time. But most of the time she catches up on work or her crafting.
2:00PM-5:30PM - Afternoon play time. Right now in the winter, it's miserable we all stay inside. Come spring time is should be better and kids can help outside with me. Also, spring/summer neighborhood walks also help to get their energy out.
5:30PM-6:30PM - Figure dinner plans. Either make something at home or run out to pickup dinner.
6:30PM-7:30PM - Bath time for kids. Youngest kid get put to bed.
7:30PM-8:30PM - We spend time with our oldest kid by playing with his toys.
8:30PM-9:00PM - Oldest kid get put to bed. We read books and talk about the next day. Most of the time he argue with him about going to bed. Gets up out of bed as soon as we tuck him in. We then proceed to tuck him in 2-3 more times.
9:00PM-11:00PM - Wife and I finally get some alone time. We watch a TV show together or do our own thing. Then we are usually in bed by 11:00PM and asleep by 11:30PM

Anyone else in school or preparing for work related certifications? I am having a difficult time balancing this with our routine at home. I hate putting any of this solely on my wife as we are a team when comes to parenting.
Sounds like a pretty good planned out day, maybe if you guys are behind or just having a busy day you guys can swap some of the duties. As in... she handles lunch and dinner that day and the next day youre the one helping with kids? Instead of you both being there all the time, maybe save the for weekends.
 

Ron

OT Supporter
Sep 21, 2003
161,026
Need to see what other parents are doing. I have a 5 year old and 2 year old.

Our weekends go like this:

7:00AM-8:00AM - Both kids wide awake and we let them play in the media/playroom in mornings. Oldest kid knows how to operate smart tv with netflix, primevideo and youtube
8:00AM-9:00AM - Wife and I start waking up and then fix kids breakfast.
9:00AM-11:30AM - Kids play upstairs or downstairs. They get whiney if both wife and i are not with them. So we are together till lunch.
11:30AM-12:30PM - Figure lunch plans. Either make something at home or run out to pickup lunch.
12:30PM-2:00PM - Youngest kid naptime. Oldest kid has quiet time in his room. Sometime wife and I use this as our personal time and chores time. But most of the time she catches up on work or her crafting.
2:00PM-5:30PM - Afternoon play time. Right now in the winter, it's miserable we all stay inside. Come spring time is should be better and kids can help outside with me. Also, spring/summer neighborhood walks also help to get their energy out.
5:30PM-6:30PM - Figure dinner plans. Either make something at home or run out to pickup dinner.
6:30PM-7:30PM - Bath time for kids. Youngest kid get put to bed.
7:30PM-8:30PM - We spend time with our oldest kid by playing with his toys.
8:30PM-9:00PM - Oldest kid get put to bed. We read books and talk about the next day. Most of the time he argue with him about going to bed. Gets up out of bed as soon as we tuck him in. We then proceed to tuck him in 2-3 more times.
9:00PM-11:00PM - Wife and I finally get some alone time. We watch a TV show together or do our own thing. Then we are usually in bed by 11:00PM and asleep by 11:30PM

Anyone else in school or preparing for work related certifications? I am having a difficult time balancing this with our routine at home. I hate putting any of this solely on my wife as we are a team when comes to parenting.
We only have 1 and he’s 16 months but yes

I can’t establish my routine because I’m almost entirely focused on him

It’s tough but also kinda what I signed up for, i.e. taking a backseat on my ambitions/hobbies/etc.
 

JacksonWhite

Well-Known Member
Apr 11, 2011
14,900
Need to see what other parents are doing. I have a 5 year old and 2 year old.

Our weekends go like this:

7:00AM-8:00AM - Both kids wide awake and we let them play in the media/playroom in mornings. Oldest kid knows how to operate smart tv with netflix, primevideo and youtube
8:00AM-9:00AM - Wife and I start waking up and then fix kids breakfast.
9:00AM-11:30AM - Kids play upstairs or downstairs. They get whiney if both wife and i are not with them. So we are together till lunch.
11:30AM-12:30PM - Figure lunch plans. Either make something at home or run out to pickup lunch.
12:30PM-2:00PM - Youngest kid naptime. Oldest kid has quiet time in his room. Sometime wife and I use this as our personal time and chores time. But most of the time she catches up on work or her crafting.
2:00PM-5:30PM - Afternoon play time. Right now in the winter, it's miserable we all stay inside. Come spring time is should be better and kids can help outside with me. Also, spring/summer neighborhood walks also help to get their energy out.
5:30PM-6:30PM - Figure dinner plans. Either make something at home or run out to pickup dinner.
6:30PM-7:30PM - Bath time for kids. Youngest kid get put to bed.
7:30PM-8:30PM - We spend time with our oldest kid by playing with his toys.
8:30PM-9:00PM - Oldest kid get put to bed. We read books and talk about the next day. Most of the time he argue with him about going to bed. Gets up out of bed as soon as we tuck him in. We then proceed to tuck him in 2-3 more times.
9:00PM-11:00PM - Wife and I finally get some alone time. We watch a TV show together or do our own thing. Then we are usually in bed by 11:00PM and asleep by 11:30PM

Anyone else in school or preparing for work related certifications? I am having a difficult time balancing this with our routine at home. I hate putting any of this solely on my wife as we are a team when comes to parenting.
That’s way too structured imo.

we basically hang out and do something in the afternoon. Daughter has an activity Saturday morning.
 

DasVWBabe

OT's Diamond and Gemstone Tutorial Creator
OT Supporter
Sep 25, 2002
62,993
Frisconia
Oldest goes to ADHD testing tomorrow :hs:


Our son goes the day after.
:hug:

This is ultimately to help. No matter the diagnosis, your kiddos each have their strengths and their weaknesses, and how great it will be for you to be able to identify any needs super early so you can address them, build a plan, and move forward.
 
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BStork

Suck My Beak From The Back™️
OT Supporter
Apr 28, 2007
47,255
:hug:

This is ultimately to help. No matter the diagnosis, your kiddos each have their strengths and their weaknesses, and how great it will be for you to be able to identify any needs super early so you can address them, build a plan, and move forward.


My wife was recently diagnosed. Treatment has vastly improved her life.

I know the oldest has a tough time staying on task.

Our son doesn't act out or scream or fight, but he gets HYPER FOCUSED, needs to be fidgeting or making noise, etc.
He's an incredibly smart kid, great reader, incredible with science and math. Never meets a stranger. But he just like, can't sit still and will have a meltdown if things don't go his way.

In the end, it will be good to know either way.
 

8legs

8eyes
OT Supporter
Mar 16, 2008
29,329
Webbywebz
My wife was recently diagnosed. Treatment has vastly improved her life.

I know the oldest has a tough time staying on task.

Our son doesn't act out or scream or fight, but he gets HYPER FOCUSED, needs to be fidgeting or making noise, etc.
He's an incredibly smart kid, great reader, incredible with science and math. Never meets a stranger. But he just like, can't sit still and will have a meltdown if things don't go his way.

In the end, it will be good to know either way.
Do be careful about medicating as many people I've known who've been prescribed stimulants ended up with bad gum recession and tooth decay. I don't know if there's any way to treat to avoid that along the way, but it's a thing. Stimulants f up your mouth.
 
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kwhitelaw

OT Supporter
Sep 1, 2004
41,677
virginia
OMG Ben slept all night. I finally got a full night's sleep.

you bastards that have a kid that sleeps through the night really early are so fucking lucky. he's almost 8 months and it's been an uphill battle of waking up anytime between 1am and 5am.
we're at 9 months now and for the most part sleeping through from 730pm-630/7am. 8 ounces of formula + a tablespoon of oatmeal for her night bottle, her sleep sack doesn't seem to do as much as the previous sleep suit but she stays asleep so im happy. I have it dark as shit in there and we have a loud noise machine going along with purifiers/humidifiers etc, girl will sleep through almost anything
 

Samcanadian

Said Amazon
Jul 30, 2005
49,326
Winnipeg
So how much sex are other mid-30's couples with kids having these days? Wife and I kind of got into it last night. She stays at home with the kids and I go to work, and I was complaining because we don't have a ton of sex anymore. She was pointing to the fact that it's probably a bit of a lull in our marriage, and that a lot of other people in our situation are probably going through the same thing. Just out of curiosity, I was wondering how frequently you other parents are boning these days. Naturally, the conversation/argument ended in sex so we're all good again but I did express my concern that it's part of a healthy relationship and we should be careful not to let it get away from us.
 
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Samcanadian

Said Amazon
Jul 30, 2005
49,326
Winnipeg
we're at 9 months now and for the most part sleeping through from 730pm-630/7am. 8 ounces of formula + a tablespoon of oatmeal for her night bottle, her sleep sack doesn't seem to do as much as the previous sleep suit but she stays asleep so im happy. I have it dark as shit in there and we have a loud noise machine going along with purifiers/humidifiers etc, girl will sleep through almost anything
We stayed away from noise machines for our first, but eventually gave in for the second. Holy moly noise machines are the greatest :rofl: We originally didn't want to give it to them because we didn't want them to have to rely on itto be able to sleep, but we started using it in the stroller etc while pushing him around to get him to go down easier and it was so darn effective that we just started using it for him all the time.
 

BStork

Suck My Beak From The Back™️
OT Supporter
Apr 28, 2007
47,255
So how much sex are other mid-30's couples with kids having these days? Wife and I kind of got into it last night. She stays at home with the kids and I go to work, and I was complaining because we don't have a ton of sex anymore. She was pointing to the fact that it's probably a bit of a lull in our marriage, and that a lot of other people in our situation are probably going through the same thing. Just out of curiosity, I was wondering how frequently you other parents are boning these days. Naturally, the conversation/argument ended in sex so we're all good again but I did express my concern that it's part of a healthy relationship and we should be careful not to let it get away from us.

We aim for 2-3 times a week tbh.
 

Thumpin'Ram

I'll level with you. These bags weren't designed f
Jul 15, 2001
125,347
Goodbye mailbox
So how much sex are other mid-30's couples with kids having these days? Wife and I kind of got into it last night. She stays at home with the kids and I go to work, and I was complaining because we don't have a ton of sex anymore. She was pointing to the fact that it's probably a bit of a lull in our marriage, and that a lot of other people in our situation are probably going through the same thing. Just out of curiosity, I was wondering how frequently you other parents are boning these days. Naturally, the conversation/argument ended in sex so we're all good again but I did express my concern that it's part of a healthy relationship and we should be careful not to let it get away from us.
Probably 4x a week, but we keep it quick (20 minutes)
 
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DasVWBabe

OT's Diamond and Gemstone Tutorial Creator
OT Supporter
Sep 25, 2002
62,993
Frisconia
So how much sex are other mid-30's couples with kids having these days? Wife and I kind of got into it last night. She stays at home with the kids and I go to work, and I was complaining because we don't have a ton of sex anymore. She was pointing to the fact that it's probably a bit of a lull in our marriage, and that a lot of other people in our situation are probably going through the same thing. Just out of curiosity, I was wondering how frequently you other parents are boning these days. Naturally, the conversation/argument ended in sex so we're all good again but I did express my concern that it's part of a healthy relationship and we should be careful not to let it get away from us.
This comment right here lets me know that you probably would be more successful with a re-tool your approach. Perhaps instead of complaining about the frequency of sex, try expressing your desire to satisfy her more often. Random drive-by affection helps keep the connection in between.

Also, there is such a thing as being touched-out when you are Mom. I only had one kiddo and while nursing, I felt overwhelmed with all of the attention she needed FROM me. I have to imagine it's doubly difficult with two. Had husband approached me about needing attention FROM me, I would have shut down. We both could do better with just random affection from time to time.

We're mid-40s, but some weeks it's almost every day, some weeks it's once. I also have some other medical stuff going on that takes me out of commission for 9 or 10 days out of every 24. :hs:
 
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