The all inclusive parenting thread v. Exhaustion/suicidal thoughts/moments of happiness

digital jello

i'll be jeans soon
OT Supporter
Mar 14, 2006
264,074
any tips for flying? we are flying with our 2 month old on Friday...at least its a direct flight from DC to SF
our flight was only 2.5 hours or so, but we had a headband with headphones in it and let her watch cartoons. brought plenty to keep her busy if she wasn't into that, but she was, so it was smooth sailing.
 
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Kafka

PaulGiamattiFan420
OT Supporter
Feb 16, 2007
52,023
America
So her true nature came out
Bro fr that’s how I feel rn. :rofl: I’m walking on eggshells. In her defense she is working like 12-13 hours a day albeit “at home” but it’s a lot on her. BUT NO she shouldn’t treat me like this still :mad:

Thanks guys I’m gonna tell her what’s up today next time she blows up.

We’re flying to CA at 3 pm weather permitting hopefully travel won’t make things worse
 

DasVWBabe

OT's Diamond and Gemstone Tutorial Creator
OT Supporter
Sep 25, 2002
63,672
Frisconia
Bro fr that’s how I feel rn. :rofl: I’m walking on eggshells. In her defense she is working like 12-13 hours a day albeit “at home” but it’s a lot on her. BUT NO she shouldn’t treat me like this still :mad:

Thanks guys I’m gonna tell her what’s up today next time she blows up.

We’re flying to CA at 3 pm weather permitting hopefully travel won’t make things worse
giphy.gif


But, for real. If this was unexpected, she's probably really ramped up the anxiety to 11. Adding the fear of the unknown aspect of a baby fucks everything up. It's not ok for her to treat you poorly, but you can always respond with something like "I'm here for you as your partner, but your words/reactions don't feel equivalent to the situation."
 
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jaunt

jaunt

straight raw like a shamans feet
Aug 7, 2006
23,465
Fort Apache
My wife’s mom did 2 years. Weird as fuck. But she claims that’s the reason she’s never gotten the flu or COVID in her life.

Your posts kinda scare me. Like you’re REALLY into being a dad. Which is great for you but I don’t want my whole identity to be that. Is that bad?
My wife did 14 months, nothing weird about it at all, so much better for the child.

And no its not bad to have an identity outside of dad, i would highly recommend it.
 
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jaunt

jaunt

straight raw like a shamans feet
Aug 7, 2006
23,465
Fort Apache
any tips for flying? we are flying with our 2 month old on Friday...at least its a direct flight from DC to SF
Have some toys? I think we flew with my son when he was like three months, they're super easy at that stage since they're basically just a blob.
 

Remy Bressant

d i l d e r
OT Supporter
Jul 24, 2015
32,769
SoCal
giphy.gif


But, for real. If this was unexpected, she's probably really ramped up the anxiety to 11. Adding the fear of the unknown aspect of a baby fucks everything up. It's not ok for her to treat you poorly, but you can always respond with something like "I'm here for you as your partner, but your words/reactions don't feel equivalent to the situation."
"Put away the crazy" is sufficient. @Kafka you need to draw a line in the sand and nip this behavior in the bud. Put on your man pants and wrangle your hen.
report back and let us know how it goes
:oopsie:
 
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Faithless

щ(゚Д゚щ)
Feb 11, 2001
67,262
Houston, TX
Our 1 year old boy still relies on us to cradle him to sleep. He was breastfed up until a month ago. Now that we've weaned him, he sleeps through the night way better. Yet, he is still in the habit of needing us to physically hold him most of the time to actually fall asleep before putting him down.

I've thought about sleep training, but according to Dr. Gabor Maté, giving comfort and showing affection goes a long way, especially in their first few years. The thought of leaving him in the crib to cry through the night for a week+ is painful, not to mention exhausting for us. Has anyone had a similar experience or can offer advice?
You can still be close and loving while sleep training. It only takes 3 nights
 

Faithless

щ(゚Д゚щ)
Feb 11, 2001
67,262
Houston, TX
My wife did 14 months, nothing weird about it at all, so much better for the child.

And no its not bad to have an identity outside of dad, i would highly recommend it.


18 months with my oldest, only 6 months with my youngest.

I would have liked to go longer, but work schedule just really didn't cooperate
 
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beddachedda

life is uncertain. don't sip.
OT Supporter
Apr 8, 2006
208,063
Our 1 year old boy still relies on us to cradle him to sleep. He was breastfed up until a month ago. Now that we've weaned him, he sleeps through the night way better. Yet, he is still in the habit of needing us to physically hold him most of the time to actually fall asleep before putting him down.

I've thought about sleep training, but according to Dr. Gabor Maté, giving comfort and showing affection goes a long way, especially in their first few years. The thought of leaving him in the crib to cry through the night for a week+ is painful, not to mention exhausting for us. Has anyone had a similar experience or can offer advice?
The Sleep Lady's Good Night, Sleep Tight: Gentle Proven Solutions to Help Your Child Sleep Without Leaving Them to Cry it Out https://a.co/d/agHlP9G
 
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jeri534

OT Supporter
Jul 17, 2002
19,622
I thought the baby must be secured during take-off/landing in the car seat? we thought about BF him during takeoff but was advised he has to be in his seat
 
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jaunt

jaunt

straight raw like a shamans feet
Aug 7, 2006
23,465
Fort Apache
I thought the baby must be secured during take-off/landing in the car seat? we thought about BF him during takeoff but was advised he has to be in his seat
Lol wut... the first three times we flew we just held him in our laps. We didnt pay for a seat for him until we had to due to age (2 i think.)
 
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fuct.

Pax sola in morte
OT Supporter
Nov 12, 2000
124,915
Howdy Arabia
Our 1 year old boy still relies on us to cradle him to sleep. He was breastfed up until a month ago. Now that we've weaned him, he sleeps through the night way better. Yet, he is still in the habit of needing us to physically hold him most of the time to actually fall asleep before putting him down.

I've thought about sleep training, but according to Dr. Gabor Maté, giving comfort and showing affection goes a long way, especially in their first few years. The thought of leaving him in the crib to cry through the night for a week+ is painful, not to mention exhausting for us. Has anyone had a similar experience or can offer advice?
Protip:

throw him in the bed and wait it out. He'll fall asleep.
 
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Colt_Government

OT Supporter
Jun 18, 2010
15,304
wallaby island
Bro fr that’s how I feel rn. :rofl: I’m walking on eggshells. In her defense she is working like 12-13 hours a day albeit “at home” but it’s a lot on her. BUT NO she shouldn’t treat me like this still :mad:

Thanks guys I’m gonna tell her what’s up today next time she blows up.

We’re flying to CA at 3 pm weather permitting hopefully travel won’t make things worse
Telling her while she’s blowing up is like adding fuel to the fire
 
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Kafka

PaulGiamattiFan420
OT Supporter
Feb 16, 2007
52,023
America
Good job... his wife probably killed him
Our flight got cancelled due to all the weather stuff. She’s pissed and it’s not directed at me thankfully for once. The big issue is her brother is flying from Canada into LA to meet us. And the plan was to pick him up from the LAX airport tomorrow. So things are weird now.
 
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Colleen

Well-Known Member
Apr 3, 2002
108,897
🇨🇦
Our flight got cancelled due to all the weather stuff. She’s pissed and it’s not directed at me thankfully for once. The big issue is her brother is flying from Canada into LA to meet us. And the plan was to pick him up from the LAX airport tomorrow. So things are weird now.
There is lots of families In the same tough spot. Hope it all works out ...
 
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