SRS The mental and emotional importance of having a mentor

Crusader

I originally posted this in the cage, but I think it has application outside of combat sports as well.

Starts at 2:45 :hs:

[y]1QACELH3www[/y]
 

GFlem

New Member
Sep 13, 2004
19,531
Lakewood, OH
Always important to have someone, to let you know what's normal and what's expected. having that extra perspective is so useful, in my experience.
 

tidalxwave

WWKD?
OT Supporter
Aug 19, 2004
1,038
A mentor is important for high achieving people to stay grounded and humble. The ones without generally learn the hard way. That is why you see big time stars fall fast. They are flying way too high for so long, eventually they will fall. Good mentors are the rarest to find, the ones that don't have ulterior motives.
 

JBunni

New Member
Apr 15, 2009
1,021
east of here
Because you're incapable of thinking for yourself, yes?

I dont quite think thats fair. I think his comment was directed at a mentor in a specific area (sports training) who can tell you what to expect during your training/someone who has been there before.

I think mentors are great. Everyone needs one at some point in life.
 
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Crusader

I dont quite think thats fair. I think his comment was directed at a mentor in a specific area (sports training) who can tell you what to expect during your training/someone who has been there before.

I think mentors are great. Everyone needs one at some point in life.
I was thinking of life as a whole, not just sports.

i.e. in terms of achieving your potential, making the right choices, etc.
 

BlazinBlazer Guy

Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.
Jul 24, 2002
18,351
Lansing, MI USA
I dont quite think thats fair. I think his comment was directed at a mentor in a specific area (sports training) who can tell you what to expect during your training/someone who has been there before.

I think mentors are great. Everyone needs one at some point in life.

I can see that being a valid point, but I was taking his comment to be about life in general, in which case I really don't agree with the whole "mentor" thing in the sense that you have someone else telling you what's right and wrong or what they expect you to do at every turn.

People need to develop their own sense for what is right and wrong and what they expect from themselves, instead of worrying so much about "fitting in" and sticking to a specific mold. Be the person you want to be, not the person everyone else thinks you should be.

"It's normal to want _____, if you don't want that, something is wrong with you and you need to fix it so you do want it."

Fuck that noise. If I don't want what other people want, that's my choice -- it doesn't always mean there's a problem to be fixed.

way too often, advances come from people who didn't listen to everyone else.

My point exactly. :werd:

lol, as if success in life was just a matter of "thinking".

At its very core, that's exactly what success in life is about. Think for yourself and come up with your own ideas, then have the balls to act on those thoughts and ideas without worrying if you're following the crowd and fitting in every step of the way.

Better than living life without thinking, and instead just doing whatever someone else tells you to do because it's somehow "easier" that way.
 
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Crusader

I can see that being a valid point, but I was taking his comment to be about life in general, in which case I really don't agree with the whole "mentor" thing in the sense that you have someone else telling you what's right and wrong or what they expect you to do at every turn.

People need to develop their own sense for what is right and wrong and what they expect from themselves, instead of worrying so much about "fitting in" and sticking to a specific mold. Be the person you want to be, not the person everyone else thinks you should be.

"It's normal to want _____, if you don't want that, something is wrong with you and you need to fix it so you do want it."

Fuck that noise. If I don't want what other people want, that's my choice -- it doesn't always mean there's a problem to be fixed.
Having a mentor isn't about fitting in or being popular, especially when your mentor is a singular person as opposed to the masses.

A mentor is a caring and responsible person who is on the outside looking in, who can provide a more objective version of reality compared to the person in the midst of his own circumstances. An alcoholic who doesn't believe he is one, is the worst alcoholic of all.
My point exactly. :werd:
If you're talking about science or art, sure. But this thread is more about a life philosophy.
At its very core, that's exactly what success in life is about. Think for yourself and come up with your own ideas, then have the balls to act on those thoughts and ideas without worrying if you're following the crowd and fitting in every step of the way.

Better than living life without thinking, and instead just doing whatever someone else tells you to do because it's somehow "easier" that way.
Doesn't every fat person "think" and "know" that to lose weight they need to exercise and diet? How many actually do?

Doesn't everyone know exactly what they need, but don't have the wherewithal to actually make things happen? That's where an outside influence comes in, to provide that guidance, accountability, and motivation.
 

BlazinBlazer Guy

Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.
Jul 24, 2002
18,351
Lansing, MI USA
are you suggesting that its not possible to have a mentor and also think for yourself?

No, but I am saying that it isn't a mentor's place to tell you what is expected or what is "normal," it is a mentor's place to inspire you to think for yourself and learn through the powers of observation.
 
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Crusader

tysonandcus.jpg


mike_cus.gif


tyson-and-cus-damato.jpg
 
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Crusader

No, but I am saying that it isn't a mentor's place to tell you what is expected or what is "normal," it is a mentor's place to inspire you to think for yourself and learn through the powers of observation.
Give us your example of a mentor
 

Kurt

My own mentors are some of the people in my local church congregation. Brother Watts is one of them. He is one of the wisest old dudes on the face of the planet. I am lucky to know him. He has given me a lot of wisdom over the years.

I agree. It is important to have a mentor to guide us on the path of life.
 

BlazinBlazer Guy

Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.
Jul 24, 2002
18,351
Lansing, MI USA
your previous post implied that someone who seeks out a mentor should be derided for a lack of ability to think for themselves

now you are saying that the mentor should help the person to think for themselves

If that was the implication you were getting, I apologize, because what I was intending to imply was that a person who uses a mentor as a means to avoid thinking for themselves should be derided for it. There is nothing wrong with having a mentor to inspire you to your own thoughts about a given subject/area of your life.

And to Crusader's point with the Mike Tyson pics, I would just like to point out that there is a definite difference between a mentor and a coach. A coach is there to train someone to perform well at a specific task that requires a certain degree of conformity. A mentor is there to get someone thinking about a subject where ambiguity exists and there are no preconceived response requirements.
 

GFlem

New Member
Sep 13, 2004
19,531
Lakewood, OH
Because you're incapable of thinking for yourself, yes?

u mad?

A good mentor will offer you perspective on the normalcy of your every-day experiences... experiences you haven't had before, and experiences you may not fully understand. Why did she dump me? What am I doing in life? Is it normal that I feel depressed?

You're really overdone on this whole independent, I-don't-need-anyone kick. Get off me.
 
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Crusader

And to Crusader's point with the Mike Tyson pics, I would just like to point out that there is a definite difference between a mentor and a coach. A coach is there to train someone to perform well at a specific task that requires a certain degree of conformity. A mentor is there to get someone thinking about a subject where ambiguity exists and there are no preconceived response requirements.
Anyone who's played sports on a serious level will tell you that those two roles can often overlap.
 
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Crusader

some choice Cus D'amato quotes:

"The hero and the coward both feel the same thing, but the hero uses his fear, projects it onto his opponent, while the coward runs. It's the same thing, fear, but it's what you do with it that matters."

"To see a man beaten not by a better opponent but by himself is a tragedy."


"The first lesson I teach these kids before I teach them to box is a lesson about Fear, about what Fear is and why we have it. Fear is like a fire. If you control it, as we do when we heat our houses, it is a friend. When you don't, it consumes you and everything you do and everything around you."
 

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