cliffs: Just wanted to check in... Everything is going great. yup.. its long, but its a quiet day in here so far.... everyone in the vag is always very quick to say dump her, people can't really change, etc etc... So I just wanted to make a post about how things can change. cliff notes recap: Got a girlfriend, liked her a lot, she did a few things that were very selfish and was often inconsiderate, sex was infrequent and poor quality. vag all said "Dump her, its hopeless" The talk... you know in "knocked up" when the new dad tells off the sister in the hospital and makes her wait in the waiting room, and how as she sits down bewildered in the waiting room, instead of being mad she likes him and respects him? Well in my experience this works often if done correctly. cliffs: "when it comes down to it, you always do what you want with no consideration to what I want or would like. I take responsibility for this, because I let you do it. I am no longer going to accept such poor treatment. I try to give you what you want because I want you to be happy, yet your actions clearly indicate that if my happiness is inconvenient you really don't give a damn about it. If you want this to work you are going to have to start being a lot more giving, considerate, and thoughtful. If you can't do that, don't waste my time." What I changed: It's true, I had become a complete pussy. Even down to the nearly insignificant details, like letting her sleep however the hell she wanted in the middle of the bed. I had gotten all caught up in the head rush of falling in love and had set myself up for what Id gotten. As soon as I got back to being my normal strong self, everything changed. I started taking what I wanted, saying no, not accepting bullshit behavior. Within days though, I stopped having to. she began giving me what I wanted, asking me what I would like, and not pulling nearly as much bullshit behavior. and since then, everything has been just great. While I was hoping for change I never would have imaged such drastic change in a relationship could happen. She now appreciates the nice things I do for her, and does nice things for me in return. She is considerate, giving, and appreciative. She now respects that fact that since I am very easy going, if I say something serious, I am serious and she treats it as such. The sex has gone from awful to great, and I have not gone two consecutive days without sex as far as I can recall. Yeah, sometimes she gets out of line, but I am a man and I can put her back in line and she will respect me for it. this really isn’t meant to be misogynistic, but I guess it is. Its not the original dynamic I was going for, but this one simply works so much better for us, its hard to argue. Occasionally im amazed at how easily we slip into a father/little girl dynamic, but it works for both of us.