SRS There is something to be said for not abandoning people

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Mulsanne, Dec 16, 2007.

  1. Mulsanne

    Mulsanne The Man = Funk Fusion Chaos

    Jun 1, 2003
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    State College, PA
    The common thread Ive found in much of the advice in Asylum is someone is hurting from someone else and at least 9 times out of 10 people say "cut them out of your life, you'd be better off"

    And a lot of times that is true, but I just came to post this from the pathological liar thread and sometimes it is not so true. Someone had said to abandon her since the OP had been hurt badly already.

    I guess my point here is, that there is something to be said for not abandoning people and cutting them out of your life because of some pain theyve caused you. And more importantly, there's something to be said for trying to help people you care about.

    I guess the REALLY important part is knowing the difference between the two :hs:
  2. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

    Jan 27, 2005
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    The other really important part is being able to tell whether you're making any progress, or whether the same problem keeps surfacing in different forms.

    My parents were married for 27 years before they got a divorce. They were still dealing with the same fundamental ethical differences that turned up shortly after they got married. For that reason, I encouraged it to end. There's no sense dedicating your life to someone only to die with them being the same person they were when you met them.
  3. daneeyah

    daneeyah Guest

    I agree with you that is important to know the difference. And I agree that one shouldn't just give up on someone and "cut them off".
    And the only time I really feel that it is right to cut someone off is after helping them as much as you are able to. But then that person takes advantage you and doesn't seem to appreciate your help, and possibly abuses it.
    So like some here said, there is a certain limit that you can help someone. Not only because people can take advantage of you and screw you over, but because ultimately people can't really be helped unless they first take the initiative to help themselves.

    I went through 3 years of helping my best friend get through a suicidal phase... it was literally 3 years of hell, and 3 years of dropping everything and placing her first in my life.
    And it was also 3 years of just giving and getting completely nothing. Not even something to show me that I was helping her get better.
    It was always, "I want more, I need more, your not doing enough"...

    So it is important to know your boundaries and limitations of helping others... there needs to be a balance in taking and giving.

    And that depends on each person/situation I guess.

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