LOVE This guy says non-douchebaggy "nice guys" are in demand in other countries

Diesel66

OT Supporter
Feb 20, 2005
134,459
Kc
That only works for awhile. friend of the family got a traditional sub wife from china. She was "perfect" for a year or so, then his female friends and neighbors told her how she could behave
 

Nomad

Active Member
Sep 30, 2005
25,874
Jerry_ForgetIt.gif
 

Polina

New Member
Jan 4, 2011
441
South Florida
Here is the thing, sometimes getting a wife from overseas works but most of the time it doesn't. American men who are looking for Asian or Eastern European wives delude themselves thinking that they will find women who are submissive and traditional, women they could control. It's not always the case! Women overseas are intelligent and cannot be controlled. The differences in culture or quick "americanization" (made up my own word) - and those men are in for a shock. Besides, how do they know for sure if those women are in for love or for a green card? Tricky situation.

Being Eastern European myself I had seen some unfortunate mail-bride situations first hand, and those relationships that ended up a success are few and far in between.
 

Helios

Well-Known Member
Apr 14, 2006
50,126
Nyc <> Amsterdam <> SE MI
I don't know how often you go into the main but the general idea has been tossed around for years.

As someone who has lived/lives in europe and travelved extensively, the jist of what he's saying is true(albeit with hyperbole). American women make the entire process far more troublesome than it needs to be, and it accomplishes nothing in the long run. The reason more american guys aren't aware of this is lack of comparisons, 1) don't travel abroad enough 2) local contrast is too similar(canada), or too unstable(mexico).
 

Helios

Well-Known Member
Apr 14, 2006
50,126
Nyc <> Amsterdam <> SE MI
Here is the thing, sometimes getting a wife from overseas works but most of the time it doesn't. American men who are looking for Asian or Eastern European wives delude themselves thinking that they will find women who are submissive and traditional, women they could control. It's not always the case! Women overseas are intelligent and cannot be controlled. The differences in culture or quick "americanization" (made up my own word) - and those men are in for a shock. Besides, how do they know for sure if those women are in for love or for a green card? Tricky situation.
It's not all about the submissive angle, women in western/southern europe aren't submissive, but you still won't be going through most of trouble you will with american women.

Being Eastern European myself I had seen some unfortunate mail-bride situations first hand, and those relationships that ended up a success are few and far in between.
Being russian i'll agree. :mamoru:
 
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Falconer

Falconer

Well-Known Member
Jun 23, 2006
65,534
I thought the article was about moving overseas and finding a woman, not mail order brides.

I must've misread.
 

Dahlia

Active Member
Feb 12, 2008
27,405
Lexington, KY
Guys talk about how women should treat them, but why should we treat you like a king if you don't give us the same respect?

That guy seems like a nut, his blog is just bitching.... Why doesn't he just leave if it's so awful for him?

Falconer, I don't think it's about mail order brides, they are just saying women don't stay "pure" like men assume they will. (like what happens when a guy gets a mail order bride)
 

THoC

Well-Known Member
Feb 5, 2007
7,349
as someone who grew up in europe and visits often i can tell you that it is true about MOST girls there. i have also dated european girls who moved to the US and once here their female friends share american behavior with them.
 

Deborah

Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.
Aug 21, 2008
3,633
The article suggests that women in other parts of the world have family values and want to get married...hmmm and american women don't? I find it ironic that the women with strong family values here are often considered "desperate" and "not fun" who put pressure on men. It goes both ways. A woman here who looks for real love and marriage also has to deal with lots of sleazy man whores who want nothing to do with commitment. Often, she only has a better chance if she decides to date down significantly.
 
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Falconer

Falconer

Well-Known Member
Jun 23, 2006
65,534
Guys talk about how women should treat them, but why should we treat you like a king if you don't give us the same respect?

A lot of guys do give women that "same respect," and the woman constantly pushes the power play and ends up walking all over the guy, thinking he "is a pussy" and the guy ends up thinking she "is a bitch."

I'm a pretty nice guy in relationships, but I really do understand why a lot of guys say that you need to be an asshole with (American) women.

On a related note, the relationship with the least drama that I've ever been in was with an Indian chick.

I don't mean "least drama" as in like "she did everything I said." I just mean it wasn't a constant power play, and when problems came up, she was more interested in finding a resolution than she was in playing for drama in order to get her feeling emotions fix, or playing for power in order to "win."
 

antihero

OT Supporter
Aug 19, 2002
15,294
NYC
Guys talk about how women should treat them, but why should we treat you like a king if you don't give us the same respect?

On some level I agree with you, but on another level I have to say that most of the time men aren't asking to be "treated like a king", unless the american version of treated like a king = shes not a giant pain in the ass. Most guys don't want more from women, we want less. Less headaches. Less demands. Less micromanagement.
 
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Falconer

Falconer

Well-Known Member
Jun 23, 2006
65,534
however we know that most female decisions when it comes to dating and relationships aren't made using the type of logic you just posted

this.

the sad fact is that many women treat their man better when he treats her worse

and treats him worse when he treats her better

This.

Which sucks for "nice guys" who want to treat their women well, but when they do, it backfires.
 

Rellik

New Member
Feb 2, 2005
6,362
its really pretty obvious

Three scenarios:

A) Girl is better looking than her boyfriend: guy is afraid to lose her, feels lucky to have her, is really nice to her and more pussy whipped by her than less-good looking girl before (even happened to a good player friend of mine).

B) Girl and guy are equal - relationship power balance is more or less the same, can go either way depending on perceived attractiveness of either of the partners.

C) Guy is better looking than the girl - guy doesn't care so much about the girl cause if she leaves him its not a "big deal". Reverse of situation A), this time the girl feels lucky to have the guy and will do anything to keep him. This is where the "girls like assholes" belief is misapplied.
 
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Falconer

Falconer

Well-Known Member
Jun 23, 2006
65,534
C) Guy is better looking than the girl - guy doesn't care so much about the girl cause if she leaves him its not a "big deal". Reverse of situation A), this time the girl feels lucky to have the guy and will do anything to keep him. This is where the "girls like assholes" belief is misapplied.

Usually it's the hot girls who are with the assholes.








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peoplescar

My gf is 1st generation hungarian and her parents are very traditional. Her mom has had one affair that my gf knows about lol. American values infiltrated her in some ways. And their kids are spoiled rotten and have no concept of real world problems. Her parents came here with nothing and built themselves a very comfortable life here which is commendable. my gf has traditional eastern european values in a relationship... but she is american princess in every other way :rofl:

She believes in monogamy
Not being a slut
Classy manners and fashion
The man is in charge of the relationship (as long as shes getting what she wants :rofl: )
 

Kev07

New Member
Sep 22, 2006
7,649
Cambridge, MA
My gf is 1st generation hungarian and her parents are very traditional. Her mom has had one affair that my gf knows about lol. American values infiltrated her in some ways. And their kids are spoiled rotten and have no concept of real world problems. Her parents came here with nothing and built themselves a very comfortable life here which is commendable. my gf has traditional eastern european values in a relationship... but she is american princess in every other way :rofl:

She believes in monogamy
Not being a slut
Classy manners and fashion
The man is in charge of the relationship (as long as shes getting what she wants :rofl: )
:rofl:
 
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Falconer

Falconer

Well-Known Member
Jun 23, 2006
65,534
That is a good topic for discussion.

I think it's because for most men, their primary objective is avoid drama.

So guys will be like "sure, whatever makes you happy" to a woman because he knows the woman will give him drama if it turns into a discussion.

The man knows if he picks what he wants, he'll have to deal with the woman being all unhappy about it for the duration of whatever it is. Drama.

This gives rise to all sorts of sayings, "happy wife, happy life," etc.

This becomes the pattern over time. The man is picking the past of least resistance, of least drama.

Until one day he realizes he doesn't have any "power."

It's happened to me in relationships before, and I'm sure it's happened to many guys here, too.

I'm trying to figure out a solution to it that doesn't involve being a tyrant or dictator in the relationship.
 

NCS

Active Member
Apr 2, 2002
5,674
as someone who grew up in europe and visits often i can tell you that it is true about MOST girls there. i have also dated european girls who moved to the US and once here their female friends share american behavior with them.

i completely disagree. i lived in the US till 18, and have lived 12+ years in europe, in various places.

1. depending on the place, girls will "approach you" but never as much as in the US. (in the US, i lived in the bay area)

2. in europe the girls are MUCH more weary of strangers. most places are, in general, less social and groups are more closed off.

3. "american women make bad partners and european women have family values". my translation: american women are too independent, european women are clingy and want your soul when you are with them. never have i seen such codependency. my last two girlfriends both complained that i didnt spend ALL my free time on the weekend with them, doing the same activities. "we are in a couple now, why would i want to do anything but be with you?"

4. if you were brough up in the US, you are used to US charm / flirting. anywhere else feels boring when talking to most women.

of course, there are exceptions/minorities on both sides.

god i got chills just writing this. uck.
 

Rellik

New Member
Feb 2, 2005
6,362
i completely disagree. i lived in the US till 18, and have lived 12+ years in europe, in various places.

1. depending on the place, girls will "approach you" but never as much as in the US. (in the US, i lived in the bay area)
yup... the girls in the US are almost man-like and masculine, aggressively propositioning and hitting on attractive guys so they can fuck them and rack up another notch on their belt or whatever
2. in europe the girls are MUCH more weary of strangers. most places are, in general, less social and groups are more closed off.
Yes in general, especially as you go east
In one sense they're more "authentic" (guys and girls).. they're not gonna talk to random people unless they're drunk but once they get to know you they're you're best friends. In north america people are always talking random bullshit to random people but its just a "facade" of niceness and cordialness/social butterfly - they might think you're an asshole but you'll only ever see one side of them.
3. "american women make bad partners and european women have family values". my translation: american women are too independent, european women are clingy and want your soul when you are with them. never have i seen such codependency. my last two girlfriends both complained that i didnt spend ALL my free time on the weekend with them, doing the same activities. "we are in a couple now, why would i want to do anything but be with you?"
Yup
4. if you were brough up in the US, you are used to US charm / flirting. anywhere else feels boring when talking to most women.

yeah.. on the flip side the women are better looking, take better care of themselves, and are skinnier vs fat, entitled somewhat busted north american chicks who build up huge egos over time because they regularly have decent looking guys 2+ points above them offering them dick and trying to out-alpha each other
amusement-fail-fat-girl-dance-skinny-guy.jpg
 
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Falconer

Falconer

Well-Known Member
Jun 23, 2006
65,534
1. depending on the place, girls will "approach you" but never as much as in the US. (in the US, i lived in the bay area)

Damn, I've been approached like 5 or 6 times total in my life. That'd probably be like once in Europe huh :rofl:

european women are clingy and want your soul when you are with them. never have i seen such codependency. my last two girlfriends both complained that i didnt spend ALL my free time on the weekend with them, doing the same activities. "we are in a couple now, why would i want to do anything but be with you?"

That's how I expect relationships to be. Relationships, not convenience relationships. If I'm half dating/fucking someone I'm not really into, then yeah, I want free time/no clinginess.

4. if you were brough up in the US, you are used to US charm / flirting. anywhere else feels boring when talking to most women.

Elaborate?
 

Helios

Well-Known Member
Apr 14, 2006
50,126
Nyc <> Amsterdam <> SE MI
A woman here who looks for real love and marriage also has to deal with lots of sleazy man whores who want nothing to do with commitment. Often, she only has a better chance if she decides to date down significantly.
I'll agree that american men aren't exactly a bunch of gems either, but those women who are looking for something serious have a bad habit of not dating their equal in that regard. They seem to disproportionately end up with the game playing male whore types because they confuse it for genuine long-term interest. And brush aside the guys who do express the same core goals. Some of that is a lack of blunt sexuality on their part, but still.
 

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