I got news Sunday morning that my cousin hung himself Saturday night. I'm having a hard time figuring out how to deal with this. He was my closest cousin, but had moved far south a few years ago, and we haven't talked since. He did have a ton of problems, both drug related and psychological, but no one knew how bad. Back in middle/highschool, my parents took him in for a number of years because his mom was pretty bad off and couldn't raise him right. For that time, we were inseperable. He shook off all of his problems, got solid B's in school, got his first girlfriend, had a good group of friends, and really showed that he was capable of doing something besides getting into trouble. Then his mom decided that she was moving to Mississippi for a job oppurtunity, and he chose to go with her. He quickly fell back into the bad crowd without the social structure, had two children with his girlfriend, and it ended up like this. Without going into too much detail, he did it in a way that would force his mom to relive it every time she steps out of her house. So now, here I am stuck between a rather large set of emotions. I don't know how I feel. I don't know how to deal with this. I'm not sure if it's fair to feel like he wouldd have made it if he wasn't down in that environment. I don't want to blame his mom, because I do love her, but those feelings keep creeping up in my mind. I also feel soooo horrible for her htat i'm sick to my stomach. And I feel like I let him down in some way. Because to my knowledge, the best time in his life, the most successful, happy, and enjoyable time in his life was with me by his side, and I didn't do more to help him keep that. But most of all, even though I haven't seen or talked to him, and our lives are completely seperate and different, I miss him. And I wish I would have known the problems he was having. I would have helped. advice?