Over the past couple of weeks I have been making subtle comments about possibly trying anal, and also about her swallowing (not so bluntly of course) We have a pretty open relationship and can freely talk. Through the conversation I came to find that she has had some pretty bad relationships in the past. The first guy she ever had sex with completely destroyed her emotionally. At some point, while having sex with her he went for anal, without telling her or anything, and says that she felt violated and taken advantage of at the time. Also, when giving this same guy head, he grabbed the back of her head and according to her was very violent/uncaring about her. I have now come to realise why she has the tendencies that she does (only wants to have sex occasionally, afraid to try new things, was very muvh against my suggestion) Now i am not sure what to do. I am a very sexual person, and enjoy trying new things. On the other hand she is the complete opposite. I feel that there must be some way I can help her out, but at the same time I almost feel guilty. Like I should convince myself to surpress my urges.