Damn, I never thought I would post something here, but I'm pretty much tired and in a funk and I need to unload this 50lb sack of shit off of my chest, so here goes. I just can't spontaneously interact with people. Sometimes I feel like there's a wall between me and pretty much everyone else. And when I do manage to try to talk to someone, I always feel like I'm the weird guy in the situation. Sometimes I won't even approach a person to say "Hi, how ya doing" because either I'm afraid they might bite my head off or because the conversation will end right afterwards because I can't think of how to keep it going. Shit, I think that's it -- I just don't know how to keep conversations going, and I just can't do it with confidence. Now I want to get out and meet people, mix, mingle and interact and all of that, but I either find myself somewhere off to the side completely alone or in some awkward conversation that quickly dies off with the other person thinking that I'm just so socially inept. I see others who can just set things off in seconds and have a lot of people around them, and sometimes I envy them. I hate doing speeches and I dread improvisation because I'm not a think-on-your-feet type of person. I need to put thought into what I'm gonna say and I can't stand making any mistake that could leave me sounding stupid, so it needs to either be damn-near-perfect or I just wont talk at all. There's a whole lot going on with me -- namely this and the fact that I have little to no self-confidence in myself or my abilities at...well...anything. Damn I suck.