I feel dumb for allowing this to happen, but when I look back I can see a pattern of how my exgf was able to eliminate my friendships one by one. 1. There was a car enthusiasts club that I belonged to for 3-4 years. We'd have get togethers, bbq's, cruises, etc. The last time I saw them was during a member's bday party where my gf came along with me. She didn't try to talk to anybody the entire time and looked very depressed. I ignored it because she was embarrassing me in front of my friends. She wanted to go on the trampoline down the hill, but since nobody else was using it and I didn't want to, I didn't want to be the one to ask the host and she refused to ask herself. Then she disappeared and I didn't see her for about an hour. When we all went out front I saw her walking from up the road talking on the phone. So now people are talking about going bowling or something and she says "should they be driving?" because we all had jello shots. So I'm just talking to her about whatever and everyone's acting pretty chill... out of nowhere she says loudly "chris, they won't even talk to us. they hate us!" I embarrassingly look over and realize that she's right, that everyone has their own little group and we are in our own group. I mean that was cool with me and all, but it made me think "wait, you're right, why is no one talking to us?" It was a bit awkward when we got there because I didn't even know of the bday party as it simply coincided with a club meeting that we had with another club. Very odd and had I had known I would've gone canyon carving with the other club since that was my plan, but my gf was the one who wanted to stick with our group. Now she gets in the car and I get in there with her. She's balling her eyes out and I tell her to just go that we can leave and get out of here. She starts the car and we leave, though I'm thinking just a few circles around the block might calm her down, but no, we left to go back home and that's the last I ever saw of my car peeps. 2. We get a super cool coworker, a girl who's a lot like my ex as she's very outspoken, unapologetic, borderline arrogant. We go out to breakfast after work selling roses all across town (it's 3am now). Everything is going great and the conversation is flowing so smoothly between all of us. The new girl is not intimidated by me and isn't afraid to talk girl-talk with me around. When we get back and say goodbyes, my gf tells me how she was so annoyed with the new chick and how the girl acts like a maniac. I mean the girl may have had ADD, but well so did my chick so I don't know how she could complain. I figured they'd become best friends or something you know? So I toned it down with the new girl since I figured if my girl doesn't want to be friends with her then I'm not going to go behind her back and make her feel like shit, just like I wouldn't want her to befriend a guy I thought was an asshole. 3. This guy I have known since I was 3 years old and we have hung out with him and his gf before. I asked him if he wanted to go on a trip to Lake Arrowhead or Big Bear during spring break, similar to what we did with my parents when we were like 8 and he was cool with that, but he wanted me to drive down an hour to him and go from there which I was fine with. It added an hour to the trip but gas wasn't too bad back then and I wanted to spend some time in L.A. My gf though refused and thought that was selfish of him. Well I didn't know what I was supposed to do. This chick was dying to go on vacation but couldn't drive an hour to pick someone up? We could've drove there separately but it wouldn't have been as much fun. I think we simply took a trip through AZ instead. The last time I saw that friend was when we had dinner with him. I acted like a doormat but it was more being brainwashed to think that my friends were evil, and I expected to be able to hold her to the same standards because fairness is extremely important to me, but anytime I had an issue with one of her friends she never acknowledged it. I can't fathom how people can act like this and still consider themselves human. To me it takes a purely evil satanic possession in order to pull off such a sabotage of another person's life. I look back for clues as to why I act so differently around people than I used to. A part of me is still paranoid about whether or not people like me or what they really think of me, etc. That's not how I used to be at all and I can't seem to shake it. I don't know if I'm better off like this or what.