I blabber. This is soooo long. ===== Name? Jamie Age? 29 Gender? Female Ethnicity? Caucasian – French-Canadian/Indian + ? on Mom’s side and no idea on Dad’s side. I ended up pale and freckled. Religious Affiliation? Agnostic. I do “celebrate” holidays, but only as an excuse to get together with family and give presents, not religiously! I do not support any organized religions and have looked into some alternates, but they all seem to imply that you rely more on some governing power that you put your faith in, rather than on yourself, and I just can’t buy into that. Siblings? One brother Ages of Siblings? 27 Where raised? Central Michigan Level and place of education? BA in Telecom w/ a focus in digital media (web design/graphic design), and then completely switched tracks, went back to grad school, and just got my OD (doctor of optometry) Occupation? Optometrist Hobbies? Video games, computer, crocheting/knitting, motorcycles, horses, being outdoors, gym, sleep, reality shows relating to modeling, cooking, or making clothes, cartoons (Adult Swim), and eyeballs if I’m not too burnt out from work. Sexual preference? Straight Measurements? 5’6”, 35-27-37 Best and worst experiences with SO's? Best: Initial 'hookup' in my current relationship. It was so long in coming that once we finally admitted to it, it was just such a relief. I came over just to hang out. It was the first time I’d seen him in a few years. I was supposed to hang out for an evening. Instead I ended up staying for 3 days. I had to go back to campus for a week and it was this terrible period of trying to decide if it was worth it to possibly break up the friendship in order to pursue a relationship. I blame it all on “The Notebook”. I watched it when I was home alone and it got me all emotional and I decided it was stupid to just keep sitting on the relationship when it was what I wanted, so I got some balls and talked to him about it. Contrary to popular belief, most of our conversations were through instant messenger and this was no different, and we turned out fine!! I somehow ended up going to a wedding with him the following weekend and afterward we had crazy awesome sex that night. From my perspective, I was the initiator for most of the first steps in the relationship. Worst: This is a hard one for me to pick out. After the fact, I usually smooth things over in my mind. A lot of things that were terrible at the time, seemed to happen for a reason in retrospect. I’ve long since let them go. (Warning: this ended up getting long! Cliffs: Dated an asshole. Cheated on me very shortly after losing virginity. Finally stood up for myself amidst the horses at the county fair.) My first bf - he was a cocky jerk. He really didn’t have very high goals or aspirations. I was smart, did well in school, wanted to go to college. He was always in trouble, never tried, and was happy working at an oil change place. We had very little in common except that I liked horses and he was a wannabe-cowboy. That’s embarrassing to admit (in fact this will sound very hillbilly because it involves 4-H and the county fair, etc. – try to get past that. ). I think at this point in time I didn’t date guys I liked that I would have things in common with, etc. I dated guys that were interested in me. (And really I didn’t date much at all. I should say I only pursued guys that were interested in me.) That was the case here. I dated him because he wanted to date me. The majority of the relationship was bad, but I didn’t really trust in myself or know what to do. I stupidly put up with months/years of random rumors of him maybe fooling around, him lying about drugs and drinking and going to parties (in high school I did none of these things and I was only 15-16 when I dated him) and lying about many other things, being rude to my parents and downright mean to my brother. I think being around him made me a meaner/ruder person as well. After 2.5 years of dating, I lost my virginity to him. 1 week later I found out he was fooling around with one of my good friends at the time. I don’t think I even flat out broke up with him then. I was just pissed and refused to talk to him. He showed up with flowers. He showed up drunk in the middle of the night. He broke his hand punching our van. He begged, pleaded, yelled at me and told me I was making things up, etc. Finally, we got to a point where I said maybe we could work things out (MORON!). Fortunately, from all this comes one of my proudest moments, where I realized I was in charge of me and I could make the decisions. There was this stupid comedian that the ex and his friends used to watch and thought was hilarious, so they would always talk about it. His punchline to this whole group of jokes was always “well I don’t fucking believe it”. We were out at the fair (4-H horses), supposedly together again, although I didn’t trust him, felt like he cheated, and I was just conceding and giving in. It was really starting to bug me because he was acting like everything was fine and nothing happened and it was still eating away at me. I said, “Remember what you said about Nikki? How nothing happened?” He said “yes” and looked at me like shit not this again. And I just kinda ‘yelled’ out “Well I don’t fucking believe it!”. He threw a deck of cards at my head and stormed out of the barn. I was so proud of myself. I couldn’t believe that had come out of my mouth. I learned that day that I was completely capable of standing up for myself and it really was up to me. I think that’s the real reason I still remember all of that. Fantasy Date? Hmmm…good question. I don’t know. I guess I’m really excited to get to go away on vacation somewhere. It would be so much fun to go away together. I would really like to go somewhere tropical. Swim in warm ocean water, lay on the beach, drink tropical drinks all day, and sight-see. This will be our honeymoon one day, but we are very thrifty on big things like that and don’t really do vacations right now. As for regular dates, I like things that involve being outside. I would be happy if we could just go to a nice park or nice quiet country area and walk around. Horseback riding to similar quiet, country areas would also be nice, but not doable right now…if I could manage to drag him back onto a horse. Tell us about your childhood? Overall, I’d say my childhood was happy. I remember running around the neighborhood. We had friends that lived just down the street and we’d play from morning til night. We didn’t have a ton of money, but I didn’t realize that until I got older. I went from regular school into the smart kids class in 5th grade and lost all my friends. All the kids in the new class hated me for coming in as an outsider and the old class hated me for leaving and going into the 'weird' class. When I grew up a little more, my friends down the road ended up running with a different crowd and getting knocked up and dropping out of school, or barely finishing. I was left behind, but this was for the better. This was the beginning of my odd history of not being able to keep friends which seems to have followed me into the present day. (Acquaintances, no problem. Solid, close friend type relationships with girls…don’t really have those. I have no one I consider a best friend. The closest I have is one girl I went through optometry school with, but now we live an hour apart and she is moving a state away.) My dad was always pretty distant with us as we got a little older. When we no longer enjoyed just tagging a long doing whatever he was doing, he stopped trying to do anything we wanted. He used to drink a bit and that just made him meaner. He often just wasn’t very present, or if he was, he was just there to worry and get upset over something little and unimportant. There were lots of power struggles between he and my mom about how to raise us. My parents are still married. I never thought they’d make it this long and I always thought they should’ve divorced long ago. I think they are just together because they are comfortable and this “routine” has already been established. My mom and I get along pretty well. She always told me way too much about their sex life too. I think that affected how I think about sex. It was always a power struggle with them – they wouldn’t have sex, dad would get mad and act like a jerk and give the silent treatment to the entire family. We all knew what was going on and it was awkward. Now that I’m grown, I get along better with both parents. I think it’s because when they piss me off, I can just leave. I wish I was closer to my dad, but we still have this awkward relationship where we don’t really have much to talk about or do together. I wish it was better, but at least we’re not yelling at each other anymore. What do you think contributed to your like/dislike of women or men? I think I saw my mother as weak, and sex as a tool and power struggle. I’ve felt for a long time that this shaped my view of sex and relationships (for the worse). I never really knew what relationships were supposed to be, or how to focus on my own needs when determining if I should be with someone. It took me a long time to figure that out for myself. I think if my parents had a better relationship, I would’ve had a more solid start there. Instead I just ended up very bitter toward guys and toward myself for a while. I had lots of bad relationship moments – guys cheating, etc. that made me very bitter. I had situations like the friend cheating with the ex that I mentioned above that made me very untrusting of women. Well, that combined with my apparent inability to form close friendships with females. Not that I really hang out with lots of people in general, but I usually feel better with guys. They’re easier to talk to, and they’re perfectly happy to not talk at all. Best Relationship? Current relationship has been the best. We have been dating for 2+ years, living together for a little over 1 year. We met years ago and he was my first crush when I was 13. We hung out here and there throughout the years, but continued to do our own thing…talk about friendzone! I put the signals out there, but he never really picked up on it. He swears just the opposite. I think it’s good that we didn’t get together right away when we were young. We’ve had a chance to develop on our own, and I don’t think I would’ve pursued school as I have if I were married or had been tied down to him. He drives me crazy like no else can (as I’ve mentioned in threads before, this is kind of like his past time). But he also makes me happy and relaxed and I feel like I’m in a better relationship than I have been before – just how we relate, our goals in life, and how we live our lives. Worst Relationship? See worst experiences. Are your siblings like you at all in their relationships? No, not really. I dated a lot more than him, and am in relationships more than him. He always had this very romantic idea about relationships where I approach things more bitterly (and realistically?). How open minded are you? Pretty open-minded, as long as others are treating me respectfully. If not, I’m more likely to shut down – not because their idea is bad, but due to presentation. Have you ever been involved in a 3some? One time I passed out on my friend’s bed after we were all smoking in her room and when I woke up she and her boyfriend were making out and groping all over each other right next to me. They were fucked up too and somehow didn’t realize I was there…is that close enough? What do you look for in another partner? Honesty, loyalty, sense of humor, ambition, similar goals and interests, chemistry. Do you think a person’s promiscuity or lack thereof has to do with their childhood? I think it can, but I don’t think it always does. Have you used online sites for the reasons of getting sex or dates or both? Yes What's your favorite body part of the opposite sex? I don’t really think about it much, but I guess if I had to pick, I would say arm. I know it’s general, but I like the way it feels when we’re lying there and I’ve got my arm around his and I can feel his muscles! I guess abs or at least a trim midsection would be my second. Describe your type of partner? Fits my above criteria. I don’t have a lot of looks criteria. I mean, someone relatively fit and attractive to me, but this has a lot of individual variation. What type of partner you actually date? I think my bf meets these criteria pretty well. I could live without some of the tormenting, but usually I just try to ignore that. Any words of advice for the Vag lurkers? Welcome. Feel free to speak up if you feel you have something relevant to say. I think everyone that plans on sticking around should read long enough to know some of the inside jokes/personalities first before just jumping into the conversation. ==== Now with pictures (thanks to coldstone)!