Vag Interview with JohnJohnJohnson

Name?
John

Age?
22

Gender?
Male

Ethnicity?
Caucasian

Religious Affiliation?
No thanks!

Siblings? Ages of Siblings?
Yeah. I got a younger sister who's three years younger. She is my 2nd half. Of the people in my life, she's the one whose absence would be the most horrible to me. I also have an older sister who's 7 years my senior. Then I have an older sister and brother who are from my father's previous (second) marriage. Those two are old. Like ... 50. (That's old relative to me.) I had a fourth sister but she died in an accident. She was a beautiful, whippet smart lawyer. It absolutely wrecked my father for years. If I or my little sister were simply to cross the street, my dad to this day would shout "Maniacs! Dego wop bastards!" at cars coming to a perfectly gentle stop. Danger for his children everywhere!

Where raised?
Brooklyn

Level and place of education?
I'm a last-semester senior in a great university.

Occupation?
Student, then software developer. I'd like to try acting or at least learn how to act. I'm very good at sales so sales is something else that is always on the back of my mind. However I think I enjoy programming more than sales. Sales is too crazy. Ideally I would "do" nothing but write fiction or act. I think acting appeals strongly to my desire to compensate for certain personal limitations.

Hobbies?
Previously, learning the game, learning pick-up. Before that, working out, getting jacked. I'm interested in meditation. I play Magic the Gathering these days because I'm somewhat addicted to it right now.

Sexual preference?
In dreams, I've been attracted to men four times in my life. But then I've also been attracted to women without nipples in one dream and ... pick a family member! So hopefully dreams don't say much. From day to day I prefer hot women.

I don't care about race, just hotness. Including 3 girls from my pre-game years and 3 girls from my four months "in field" (so 6 sex partners), and however many less-than-sex hookups, I have "tasted the rainbow." It tastes good, I recommend it!

Measurements?
5"9, 140ish. It varies. I was 127 as a freshman. I was up to ~160 at the peak of my work out frenzy. As you all know, I found out that game was more important than looks... well, I kind of let working out go to shit. I should really get back into lifting.

Best and worst experiences with SO's?
Best:
Falling in love, both times. The memories that come to mind immediately are the recent ones. Managing to have sex in our seats on an airplane. Last night when we kept saying I love you 9125 times during sex. Discovering that my oddest fetish was compatible with the girl I'm seeing and that my most taboo sexual fetish was not just compatible, but shared! Not to mention acquiring her fetishes as my own. (So yeah. Sex, basically. )

Watching her teach her group how to pole dance. Reading her creative pieces, which she shows me. Waking up next to her in the morning. Being really busy, then having her show up, and not being busy anymore.

Worst:
My lovely, feisty, witty young ex-girlfriend sitting down on the bed next to my roommate, pouting, telling him, "I find you just as attractive as JJJ. I don't want to feel bad about that." Pausing. Then telling him, softly, "I'm not going to kiss you right now." Later on stroking her hand up his leg in the pizza shop with me sitting right there. Offering no explanation for the pizza shop. Offering "I was mad" as her explanation for the bedroom incident.

Breaking up with this girl was also the worst. Crying for hours at night. A wrenching ache in the pit of my stomach for months as I read and absorbed material on pick-up, stayed in my room doing work, and received emotionally uninvolving, incredible blow jobs from my FWB down the hall.

Fantasy Date?


Actually I have a good date experience.

My lover and I had caviar, lobster bisque, tuna tartare, profiteroles, and Riesling together, in a floating restaurant, underneath the Brooklyn bridge, overlooking the Manhattan skyline. I am really corny. It was GREAT. The view was awesome, but I couldn't take my eyes off her for most of the night.

Tell us about your childhood?
My father was an explosive man but he never exploded in the direction of his children. Never his female children, at least. He would go nuts with me on rare occasions. It was never, ever physical. He just had a temper.

My father ran the community I lived in. My mother taught at the school I went to. Effectively I was always around my parents, age 0 to 17.

Some time after my dad's daughter died, my mother divorced my father, which, despite my father's colorful history with women and his playing the field, has been an unhealed wound for him ever since.

What do you think contributed to your like/dislike of women or men?
My father's personality and my natural temperament. My father was extraordinarily passionate about women. He loved many things, but he LOVED women. He was verbal about his love for women. He was highly active. As I've said elsewhere, he was dating an attractive 25-ish yr old when he was in his early 70's, some time after divorcing my mother. He then moved on to the wife of a millionaire, who started a foundation in my father's name before her husband threatened litigation and she went back to her husband.

That's all the back story. As for me, my social anxiety and my minor ineptitude with people, when viewed in the shadow of my father, was devastating to me. I did not pick up his pick-up abilities. The only thing I seem to have inherited from my father in terms of women is a high libido, passion, and a strong belief in love.

Another formative ~early experience: in France this beautiful, sexy girl a little older than me approached me one night to tell me that I was "pas beau."

"Do you know that?" she asked me. "Do you know you are not handsome?"

I smiled like you could hit my face with bricks and said nothing.

"Last night your covers were down when I went to the bathroom. I saw your penis. It was 'thiiiiiiiiiis' small," she said, indicating half a half an inch with her pointer and thumb.

That verdict, in addition to the social anxiety, painted a pretty story for me. First of all, by the nature of the secret (tiny dick), I couldn't tell it to anybody in high school. Second, I didn't find out until college that I was average sized. Third, it fit into my overall self-narrative which was all about contrast with my dad. So, during those four years in high school, under the daily watch of my parents, I harbored deep, shameful lust for women (girls). I had no resentment towards women. I did, however, resent other men. Grr! Nowadays having quality women (or one, in this case) in my life is essential to my well-being.

Best Relationship?
This one. The first was passionless horror. The second was passionate horror. This one is passionate bliss.

Worst Relationship?
The first one, by far. The Vaginarium will respond much more harshly to the second one (where she hit on my roommate), because the girl is the evildoer in that story, the manipulative cheater - and the Vaginarium is a bunch of dudes.

Whereas I am the evildoer in the first LTR:

I told my first girlfriend that I loved her all of a week into the relationship. My father had (jokingly) once said, "If you want to sleep with her, just choke up and say 'I think... I think I love you.'" My dad would say things just because they were funny, often, not necessarily because he meant them. For some reason I ignored the fact that he was joking - even though I knew he was joking, because he was my dad and I knew my dad. Desperate and a virgin, I tried it out. I said "I love you," but I never loved this girl.

I stayed with her for a year, lying the whole time that I loved her. I stayed and I lied and I felt trapped. I felt I didn't have a choice. I had failed even to TOUCH a girl during the four years prior to that. I didn't want to face desperation again. I kept it going. Even though I didn't love the girl I was with and wasn't even that attracted to her. Even when she ballooned from 125 to 147. Even when during that entire year, the whole LTR, we never had sex, anyway.

Are your siblings like you at all in their relationships?

My sister right now is kind of like I was in my previous relationship. On the 1 hand she is deeply passionately hardcore in love with a boy who I think reciprocates her feelings. However she has pangs of anxiety here and again that threaten to fuck the relationship up because he cheated on her, around a year ago, and then, guilt-stricken, broke up. They rejoined. They've been together for two and a half years. They're both amazing people. What matters to me is that I think, overall, it makes her happy to be with him.

My older sister I don't know as much about. She sounds very much NOT like me in most ways. For example, I think she would be ready for marriage with her doctor boyfriend; whereas I will never marry and I cannot even consider the girl I'm seeing my "girlfriend." My sister was upset when her boyfriend looked at porn; whereas I don't care if my lover actually hooks up with someone else. I might care emotionally / irrationally but a quick reassurance that what we have is what we have seems to fix it. (No one is more amazed than I, Falconer. I used to be insanely jealous of my second LTR (the one who touched my roommate's leg). I would get antsy if she looked too hot in public. It's a real 180 for me.)

How open minded are you?

In terms of vag topics? I am very open minded. I will do anything in principle. I'll even do a lot of things in practice. If you check out the Freakyshiat forum you will find my lover and I have done the daughter/father role play, which I think is pretty kinky. We're both up for experimentation. Anal play is probably in the works since for some reason I recently became interested in her butt hole. We just did teacher/student two nights ago. It was hot. She was the student tease who went too far and found herself being "schooled" by her teacher. Last night was totally vanilla. Last night was the 8912-I-love-you's-sex I mentioned above, with her sitting on my lap going up and down, with her breasts brushing my face, her beautiful eyes locked on mine, and her hair hanging down upon me.

Have you ever been involved in a 3some?
Nope! We're tentatively looking for a third person right now.

What do you look for in another partner?
Nothing. I want to know who they are. If I'm attracted to that and if we connect then I go with it.

Do you think a persons promiscuity or lack there of has to do with their childhood?
I cannot strongly enough express the incredible extent to which I do not give a shit.

However, you should know that "thereof" is one word.

Have you used online sites for the reasons of getting sex or dates or both?
No, but I'm open to it. I see no reason why not to, other than that you'll get some smilies in the vag the next day from certain people.

It's 3 AM monday, you have a date thursday, but you didn't pull anything tonight. Minus whale put in some extra time on the net, yeah!?

What's your favorite body part of the opposite sex?
Depends on the specimen. Right now I would have to say it's her "corner" - there's this strange elegant corner, I guess because she's skinny, where her inner thigh extends from her body. There's no way I can explain it in words but I like it a lot. My 2nd LTR had perfect breasts, so obviously, her breasts were my favorite body part. Traditionally I was a boob guy but I like ass and legs and abs and apparently butt holes these days.

Describe your type of partner?
After looks, I am most attracted to ... dum dum dum... social confidence in women.

(Unlike confidence in men, I can't tell you what confidence in women is, because I'm not a hyper-analytical female, I'm a hyper-analytical male. Maybe it has to do with hip swaying and eye contact and congruent laughter and comfort showing one's own skin. I dunno.) Social confidence isn't as superficial as it sounds. If the girl is stupid, for example, it poses a problem. A stupid girl I can out-maneuver, so to speak, which I find unattractive. None of this is set in stone. I can be attracted to various things.

What type of partner you actually date?
Well, I have only been in actual "dating" style relationships with these 3. The first is not a good example because like I said, it was her or nothing, in my mind, at the time.

Both the second and the third LTR's are girls who are particularly confident in their own sexual desirability. Both seize happiness in an almost religious way. Both are hot.

In every other aspect, they're opposites. The 2nd LTR (Jane) was short with perfect breasts but broad shoulders. Her hotness was cutehotness. Jane was distinctly urban, terminally provincial, and lower class. She was somewhat unintelligent, somewhat uneducated, and most of what she said was highly effective banter.

My lover (let's call her Emily) is the opposite shape: thin, sleek, small breasts, long limbs. Emily's hotness (facially and bodily) is beautiful-hotness, in contrast to Jane's cutehotness. Emily is exotic, intelligent, highly creative, and most of what she says is content-based.

In terms of people I have hooked up with, the "type" is just "attractive," with the exception of a one-night stand who I didn't find that attractive .

Any words of advice for the Vag lurkers?

(For guys) getting into sexual relationships: Do what works.

Handling relationships: Make a mess. Go with the flow.

=========================

If I missed anything, ask me.

 

That was well-written.

 

Feel free to leave feedback if you don't have any questions

 

I'll post a pic of the "corner" I'm talking about since words don't cut it. It would be great except that I don't know how the hell to display it in a photo.

 

q: Describe how you think someone who has known you for only the last 2-3 months sees you.

 

I might later. For real tho, you did a good job answering the questions. You're one of my favorite posters on this forum.

 

If you met me, whatever else you would think, you would find me articulate and, in some way or another, weird.

As for the rest, it depends on my mood. Alert, funny, and brash; or uptight, analytical, and dry.

Wow someone just handed me a free apple Not bad.

Anyways... I've let myself hole up the last 2 to 3 months so I don't have a lot of evidence to go on. I know some guys (from the last several months) who think I'm genuinely nice, whatever that means. I know some girls (from same time period) who think I'm fun. I know two people who think I'm a threat in some way.

This is a crisp, fresh apple.

edit: I've also had people think lots of totally random things about me. I think this must be a universal experience. I'm not saying it's particular to me or that I am "misunderstood." These vary from the hobbies people think I'm interested in to my sexuality to whatever.

Part of the reason I can't answer your question very, I dunno, directly, or cohesively, is because I spend most of my mental energy on focusing what I need to DO in order to get some response from people. I take such a behavioral approach that "what do they think of me" is usually not on my mind. Not in the sense you mean, at least. Moreover, I have found that what someone thinks of me depends more on the last 5 seconds than the first 5 days. What other people think is not something (ideally) that I think about any more than it factors into their behavior towards me. (This does not apply to LTR's or old friendships or family members, or relationships where we've spent a significant amount of time together.)

Part of it is also because I am me - therefore, I know there is probably some bias that blocks my clarity when I try to answer questions about me, because it's me, looking at me. I'm surprised I haven't entered a feedback loop.

 

You said "learning pick up". Would you say it's helped you?

And what's an FWB?

 

It's helped me in the short term by improving my position in life and by carrying me into this super-healthy super-passionate relationship with this beautiful, warm little creature. In the long term, it has and has not helped. It has helped me by flipping my belief system and world view. It has not helped me socially day to day right now this moment because after being out of the game for a few months I've gotten back to my old ways. On the bright side, getting back on the bike so to speak should be easier, faster, and less painful the second time around.

Friend with benefits.

 

Was the apple thing an analogy or did I completely miss something here?

 

ifl, i gotta get back to work.

 

no i just actually got handed a free apple and it was good

 

Following up to this.

I hung out with a girl today who has the most complicated friendship with me.

Back in sophomore year she would cut me down and bring me low. She effectively punished me for any displays of social awkwardness. I found her challenging. I viewed her as the ultimate litmus test for my social ability. Usually I failed the test.

Today she poked at me a lot in conversation. Rather than feeling threatened, I found it enjoyable and funny. I think she has half a crush on me these days. I've changed a lot. I pass the test! Yay. I'm not interested in her for a threesome, however. She changed too... I don't find her attractive anymore.

If I am fair to myself I see that pick-up did have some long-term effects. I'm just hard on myself because I'm not at the peak-level of game (or "confidence," as the ladies may prefer) that I was at 6-7 months ago.

 

Very interesting

 

I find this such an odd concept. You make it sound as if these profound changes and developed skillset were necesary to get the girl, yet you can slip back so far and still keep the girl.

 

I'm confused - keep which girl? The girl in that follow up is not someone I am "keeping" or someone I would get with.

As you may be pointing out, I changed my stance. Initially I said I was back to square one. I don't think that's true though. I'm not at the peak level of game I reached 6-7 months ago but I'm still different than before.

If you're talking about my lover Emily, it would seem that my ability or lack thereof to pick her up now (in a hypothetical situation where we haven't met yet) does not matter in the relationship. I don't know why. I care about her a lot and I know I do good things for her. Maybe that is why.

 

Some random thoughts on heartbreak not worth their own thread...

When I was in love with Jane (the girl who offered herself to my roommate), I found all these random, unique positive qualities in her that I was absolutely nuts about.

In my mind, these qualities were THE reason why I was so in love with her.

I have chosen my words carefully. I said they were always "unique" qualities that I went nuts about. And they were. They weren't necessarily good, objectively, or bad - they were, however, always unique.

When we broke up, the uniqueness of these qualities caused a lot of pain for me. Because they were unique qualities, I felt that I would not be likely to find them again in another girl - which, by definition, was true.

Thus I concluded (wrongly) that I would not be likely to find someone who I could feel as strongly towards again.

However, in retrospect, I don't think that's how it works. I think FIRST there is the feeling of love, which associates itself to this one individual (because of emotional pacing and so on and so forth). THEN the mind comes up with all the unique things about this individual - but only then. And only as a consequence of falling in love in the first place.

After I broke up with Jane, I would think things to myself like, "I will never find someone as socially shrewd as she was." That may very well be true. She was not smart in the way I am but she thought at whip-speed in social contexts. I also thought, "I will be hard-pressed to find someone with breasts as nice as Jane's." Unfortunately, that may be true as well. She just happened to have ridiculously perfect tits. There is not so much to be done about that. I thought, "I will not find someone with her particular scent again." Etc.

However, aesthetics aside, the only reason I was so hooked on these things was because I had associated them with my love for her - after the fact.

Fast forward to the present.

I know right now that should things go BOOM! in my current LTR (and if things go south, they will definitely go BOOM!, none of that "fizzzzzzsshphthpl" shit), there will be a whole brand new set of unique qualities that I will dearly miss, and think I will never find again. The girl I'm seeing right now is INCREDIBLY sexy. Normal straight male orbiters aside, I have women telling me this, I have GAY GUYS telling me this. My gay friend announces passionately that Emily is the sexiest person he's every seen. I think to myself, "Gee. Really. Thanks for pointing that out to me, of course I never noticed how sexy she is until you just mentioned it now! " Just to clarify, when I say "sexy" I mean something different from physical hotness.

She is also INCREDIBLY positive. She has literally one of the most anti-depressive personalities I've ever met.

She has a "corner," which I've failed to describe and failed to photograph.

She has a slight, upper-class British accent.

So, should things go BOOM!, I know I would be pining for these unique (or relatively unique) qualities. This is not the kind of thing she would think about because she has never been hurt by love or been in love before, and also because she has a ridiculously high self-esteem (there's another...). But it's interesting when I look back and I realize that I'm attached to these unique qualities after-the-fact... love having settled in, my mind then sought out unique qualities and attributed great endearment to them.

Of course the way things are right now, I can't even imagine them going BOOM!, just because things feel incredible, and I have this wonderful illusion of eternity, and I genuinely have found someone who is unusually compatible with me. That is also interesting in and of itself. Clearly, I can understand theoretically / analytically the possibility of an ending to this relationship but it somehow bears absolutely no emotional weight.