SRS Vent(?): I don't even know where to start.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by hyukki, Oct 11, 2007.

  1. hyukki

    hyukki ._.

    Oct 29, 2006
    Likes Received:
    -Edit- It ended up being a bit longer than I expected.

    I guess I could start by introducing myself.

    My name is Eric, 19 and a part-time college student. Oh and I'm Korean.

    The reason why I am posting here is because I have a seriously frustrating relationship with my family.

    It all started about a year ago, when my dad started his own business and had to moved to a city in the middle of nowhere(Lancaster). He is a Dental Technician (simply put, he makes fake teeth). He is the only one who works at the lab, while my mom helps him out. I decided to help out with deliveries, since if he doesn't hire someone, we'd make more money. My sister's job was to talk to the dentists and solve any problems that might come up with the doctors we work for. My job when I started was just doing deliveries, nothing more. And keep in mind that I did not ask for payments. I just wanted to help out but that's not the case anymore.

    I am thinking there are a couple of things that lead to my emotional breakdown...

    1. I work everyday, monday through friday. On Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays, I have to drive to Valencia (~60 miles) -> Bakersfield (~80 miles) -> Back home (Lancaster, ~100 miles). On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I only go to either one if the doctors tell me there is a pick up or there is delivery due that day. My record is driving about 5000 miles in a month, in my new car. I got my car May 31st of 2007, and I hit 18000 miles the other day.

    2. Since I do not get paid, I cannot find a hobby(that I enjoy). I barely get 200 bucks a month and I must get a lecture on how much I spend every time I get money from my parents. My parents pay for the gas, at least, so I'm glad of that.

    3. I have no friends/ They all live far away. I am a type of person who doesn't like to keep around useless friends. I've met a lot of people and tried to be a good friend. In the end, they stop talking to me, no matter how many times I try to start a conversation and talk to them. So I just give up. That left me with 3 true friends.

    My best guy friend is someone who I've known ever since I came to the US and has been there for me everytime. We met through church, stayed in touch until now, but he's attending UCM at the moment.

    My best girl friend is someone I met about 3 or 4 years ago at a church "campmeeting" where people from other churches gather and have fun/worship. I met her pretty much randomly but became really close and she's pretty much my sister now. She's in the Phillippines doing missionary work right now, due to some problems with the school.

    My other friend lives in Stockton and I met him at the campmeeting as well. We did not talk for a while but I became really close to him very recently.

    4. I cannot go out and play whenever I want to. Mostly because my parents put me on a huge guilt trip about how I'm spending too much money when I go out and stay out too late and partly because I feel like I'm being a bad son and just get them even more pised off.

    All these factors and more had been taking a toll on me for the past year and I've finally ran out of my endurance.

    ...I'll just stop there because it already feels like I'm being a whiny bitch.

    And for those of you who say "Why don't you just move out" or get a real job...:

    I would move out, If I could. Moving out means that I'd have to give up everything that I have. Moving out for regular kids is fine, since they have their parents' financial support. For me, I have to start from scratch. I have to give up my car, a shelter and even my cellphone. I have no real job experience, nor a friend who could let me stay with them while I try to get a job. They have kept me in such "captivity" because of my home culture. They cannot and will not accept that I no longer follow my old culture. I have become "Americanized" or "white-washed" too fast while my parents just stayed in their boxes and never even took a peek outside of the box.

    I've had so many arguments and talks about how they need to let me explain myself, rather than just keeping quiet like how they demand me to. If I talk back, I get more shit for talking back. :ugh:

    Anyways, all I can do now is cry. It feels like there is nothing else I can do. I don't want to rely on alcohol, cigarettes or drugs because I don't like it and I don't want to piss off my parents even more. Offtopic seems to relieve a lot of my stress but my parents still give me shit for spending too much time on the computer.

    I'm sorry, I'll stop here. I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore.
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2007
  2. Arclight

    Arclight Hypercube

    Oct 14, 2004
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    You want me to call the swat so they disrespect your famiry?

    I'm sorry. :o I couldn't resist.

    But other than that, chill out, and start looking for a job. Getting away is a long process, and the sooner you start the better.

    You never know, maybe once your parents realize they could lose you, they might soften up a bit more.

    Good luck man, but I think another asian would be able to give better advice than me, because they're familiar with the culture and all.


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