Its hard to keep a smile on. Its hard to tell myself everything is alright when its not. I get depressed and I dont know why. I'll walk down to the beach and sit there for awhile feeling empty. Life makes me feel clastrophobic sometimes and I cant escape. Sometimes when all my friends and I are joking around I'll suddenly get extremely annoyed because I just want silence, so I just sit there and smile while my head burns. I have a constant feeling of failure at school, even though I'm doing fairly well in my classes (im in college). Anybody I try to get close to pushes me away, and everyone I get annoyed with wont leave me alone. Aint nothing wrong, aint nothing right...and still I sit and lie awake all night. It’s that shit stuck under my shoe It’s that smell inside the van It’s my bed sheet covered with sand Sitting through a shitty band Getting dog shit on my hands Getting hassled by the man Waking up to an alarm Sticking needles in your arm Picking up trash on a freeway Feeling depressed everyday Leaving without making a sound Picking my dog at the pound Living in a tweeker pad Getting yelled at by my dad Saying I’m happy when I’m not Finding roaches in the pot I get so restless sometimes I'll just start smoking weed and waste more time. Time is always wasting away. I lack a sense of accomplishment everyday no matter how hard I push myself. I get plenty done everyday, but something is always missing. When I lay down to sleep I feel that going to bed is boring, that I haven't finished the day yet, that something is always lacking. if you're confused, so am i.