The past few weeks have been rough, college is kinda kicking my ass (1.99 GPA) and I was starting to feel hopless and wanted to just drop out, but that has NEVER been my style. It was stemming from the age old "what the hell do I want to do with my life" and im only 20. I would take a Vicodin at least once a day and now valium for awhile, as it was prescribed for my car accident (back pain), and that was giving me mood swings, while temporarily 'fixing' the problem. I havent tried to get any more because I dont want to become dependent (yes self medicating I know = bad). But I still have about 27 5mg Diazepam tablets, and even tho im supposed to take 2 before bed, I havent really been following that regiment. But the one thing that it made me do was scrutinize what I want to do with my life and that I need to find it in MYSELF, not a drug. I really dont want to take an SSRI, because that just seems counter productive to me. I dunno, I strongly believe in trying to change my frame of mind from within, but its very difficult when math 1030 is defying you and you feel like an idiot for it (among many other things) See Im taking psychology, and my next course is in Substance abuse, and the inner workings of the mind, so that may help shed some light on the situation. Info on me: Age:20 Sex:Male School: Freshman in college @ NSU in Ft Lauderdale Major: Business administration with a minor in Psychology What should I try and do? I had a bad case of depression form ages 7-13, but went through many years of therapy (more than 8) and it has since then resurfaced in spurts.