LOVE Was I too cold with this girl?

Math-E

Well-Known Member
Oct 11, 2002
62,185
Lakeview
This summer I flew to MD with my dad to see old friends and talk business. His buddy has a daughter that I barely recall knowing. Well during our stay, she'd come with us everywhere and showed us around. One night we went out to dinner together after our parents kinda pushed us into it, and we came back to her place for drinks and watch the Laker game. My dad was even suggesting that we go to a bar together, which is out of character for him since he HATES it when I drink. Ok, there was no real connection between us or anything...she even hated that I smoked and I was offended by her shameless racism, so I didn't look at her as a potential gf.

Ok, then the next day we were having lunch when my dad asked if I wanted to see a movie. I was very excited to see one with him because the whole time we were there it was purely about business. I hadn't even gotten to see the battlefield or check out the capitol. Then he suggested that me and the girl go see it alone while he went back to the hotel to rest. Now it was really apparent to me that they were trying to set us up, which ok, I understand since we're both single and our families want to do business together, but I answered yes to the movie thinking that he was coming along. See, my parents used to take me to movie premieres when I was a kid but the last time I saw a movie with either of them was when I was 13. I thought that was cool that we were finally going to do something together on this trip. So I was annoyed with that and said I was just going to go back to the hotel and rest instead. The girl went outside to take a phone call and I left without saying goodbye to her or telling her that I wasn't going to go to the movie. The UFC was on anyway so I wanted to watch that, but I would've missed it to go to the movie if my dad had come with us.

About a month later...her mom called my mom and my mom handed me the phone, telling me that this girl wanted to talk to me and get my email. I take the call, she gets on the line and we say hello to each other wondering what the other wants. ugh...well she gave me her email and she never asked for mine so obviously it was another total setup.

Another month after and I hadn't ever emailed her. I had thought about what I could say, but really had nothing to say. I mean we just did not click well at all. Anything that had to do with business my dad would be talking to her dad about and could relay to me anyway. So now my parents wanted to know why I hadn't emailed her, that she was such a nice girl and asked why I was so mean to her. They told me that I had to show her family that I was committed to business with them in order to make this work. But this wasn't my business idea or my dream. It was my parents and I was only willing to help them out so I didn't know why the two of us becoming friends was so crucial to deciding whether or not we'd sell the house and move out to MD, rent a house and open a restaurant or buy a liquor store. Well I guess us two were the ones who had control of about half the money that'd be going into the business, so maybe that's why.

But I never did because I still didn't know what to say. Then another month or two passed. I got curious so I looked her up on myspace, but I didn't add her because now it's for sure that we are staying put in CA anyway, so what is there to talk about?

sigh...maybe I should have just taken one for the team and flirted with her more. Then we'd all be happy. :hsd:
 
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forgotmyname

Well-Known Member
Jul 18, 2007
14,409
Uhmm..why the fuck are you letting your parents get into your love life? :ugh:

You didn't click with her, she is a racist and you don't like her at all.

Why not say that you are not interested at all? If your parents keep on pushing it, tell them to fuck off.
 
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Math-E

Math-E

Well-Known Member
Oct 11, 2002
62,185
Lakeview
Uhmm..why the fuck are you letting your parents get into your love life? :ugh:

You didn't click with her, she is a racist and you don't like her at all.

Why not say that you are not interested at all? If your parents keep on pushing it, tell them to fuck off.

Because they just never came out and said that they were trying to set me up with her.
 

MattThom01

Active Member
Jan 2, 2006
8,507
You're an adult, you don't have to do what your parents want you to. If you didn't click with the girl, then there's no point in playing the game your parents are trying to setup. They can pursue the business stuff without you and her getting involved, hell, it would be BETTER for both families to remain objective about it.

And where is the racism? I didn't see anything in the first post that indicated it.
 

kiri

New Member
Mar 15, 2006
25,139
Miami, FL
i would have been frustrated with my parents as well and probably done the same thing. i'm sure the girl feels the same way, she obviously didn't feel a connection either and is probably frustrated with her parents. so don't worry, i'm sure no one's feelings got hurt.
 

vodkacollins

New Member
Apr 2, 2008
1,777
CdM, CA
egh, not too cold, you just were not interested. dont let your parents force you into anything, and dont feel guilty about not liking her/not making a move on her for them
 

jimmyjoe

Across 110th Street, You can find it all in the st
Aug 12, 2008
4,353
AVL, NC
You did the right thing, just think if you would of played like you wanted her, than give her the old sausage slam, and dump!

Everybody involved would be pissed as hell @you right now, don't stress over it at all!
 
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Math-E

Math-E

Well-Known Member
Oct 11, 2002
62,185
Lakeview
You're an adult, you don't have to do what your parents want you to. If you didn't click with the girl, then there's no point in playing the game your parents are trying to setup. They can pursue the business stuff without you and her getting involved, hell, it would be BETTER for both families to remain objective about it.

And where is the racism? I didn't see anything in the first post that indicated it.

That's what I thought, but the key here would be that us two would take over the business in 2 years time and work together. So perhaps they thought we had to get along really well in order for it to work.

I think we could have definitely worked together well because we're both independent and can run our own stations. I would've been in the kitchen and she up front.
 
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Math-E

Math-E

Well-Known Member
Oct 11, 2002
62,185
Lakeview
i would have been frustrated with my parents as well and probably done the same thing. i'm sure the girl feels the same way, she obviously didn't feel a connection either and is probably frustrated with her parents. so don't worry, i'm sure no one's feelings got hurt.

Yeah, that's probably true. She may have been thinking "what is going on here" as well.
 

Abomb

New Member
Feb 22, 2005
20,310
Houston, TX
I won't go into details but anytime she spoke she found a way to say things such as black people this, white people that, etc. It was uncomfortable.


yes but the million dollar question is:

did she say anything negative about asians?
 

energie

I like to place an order.. the name? Situation the
Jun 15, 2006
5,732
oilcity alberta
No, she didn't. In fact, she said asians were up and coming in the community and were going to eventually run out the whites. :mamoru:



lol. ditch her not because of that but the way she seemed to be raised.


Shit like that is learnt. She also sounds xenophobic and close minded and a everything not my asian is inferior.
 
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Math-E

Math-E

Well-Known Member
Oct 11, 2002
62,185
Lakeview
egh, not too cold, you just were not interested. dont let your parents force you into anything, and dont feel guilty about not liking her/not making a move on her for them

I think it was for the best anyway because lately it's becoming obvious that I could never work with my dad. I just felt more of a duty to help them out
 
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Math-E

Math-E

Well-Known Member
Oct 11, 2002
62,185
Lakeview
oh, if she was an equal opportunist racist then that woulda been :bowdown:

eh, maybe she kind of is, but I've never been around anyone who speaks about race so much. perhaps its due to her work environments and maybe it's actually valid when talking about business and demographics, but whatever...
 

JT07

Active Member
Mar 11, 2007
72,397
Boston
eh, maybe she kind of is, but I've never been around anyone who speaks about race so much. perhaps its due to her work environments and maybe it's actually valid when talking about business and demographics, but whatever...
was race brought up in the conversaton or were you guys talking about scooby doo and she just randomly brought up "you know what i dont like about blacks/whites....."
 
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Math-E

Math-E

Well-Known Member
Oct 11, 2002
62,185
Lakeview
was race brought up in the conversaton or were you guys talking about scooby doo and she just randomly brought up "you know what i dont like about blacks/whites....."

It'd be "see white people, they like this" or "all the black people shop there" ...stuff like that. I mean it wasn't always racist per se but it made me uncomfortable because the way she talked about it all of the time it was if she expected me to have the same views and notice all of these differences...like she was reaching out by bringing up views we might have in common, when I hadn't given her any indication of that.

I suppose my ex was worse though. On our first date she talked about how unfair it was how she could not get free health care in emergencies but the poor mexicans can. I thought it was lame to bring that up and talk about how that is unfair because her life is a lot better than theirs.

But this is just a pet peeve that I have
 

Abomb

New Member
Feb 22, 2005
20,310
Houston, TX
It'd be "see white people, they like this" or "all the black people shop there" ...stuff like that. I mean it wasn't always racist per se but it made me uncomfortable because the way she talked about it all of the time it was if she expected me to have the same views and notice all of these differences...like she was reaching out by bringing up views we might have in common, when I hadn't given her any indication of that.

I suppose my ex was worse though. On our first date she talked about how unfair it was how she could not get free health care in emergencies but the poor mexicans can. I thought it was lame to bring that up and talk about how that is unfair because her life is a lot better than theirs.

But this is just a pet peeve that I have


ok after reading this post I have changed my viewpoint to that of you are being a giant Sally.
 

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