SRS Weird situation..

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by dura, Jul 31, 2006.

  1. dura

    dura Guest

    This has been bothering me for a while now. Sorry if it's a bit long, no cliffs :{.

    I met a girl this year that completely filled the void in my life. I have plenty of friends, don't get me wrong, but they aren't the same as her. I feel completely comfortable talking to her about anything, anywhere, at anytime. She feels the same way about me. She has been in a year long (albeit awful) relationship with her boyfriend. We've all seen our share of bad relationships, but this guy pretty much takes the cake. He constantly brings her to tears and downgrades her. This isn't really my business and I'm not the type to disrupt a relationship, so I decided not to mess with it.

    Lately they have been tooth and nail with each other. He deliberately goes out of his way to hurt her, like he gets pleasure out of it. Name any negative boyfriend cliche', and it's guaranteed that he's done it. When your friend gets hurt, you can tell when it begins hitting home with them. But, like I said, I don't interfere in a relationship.

    I'm leaving for Army basic training this Thursday, so we went out last night because we won't be seeing each other for a few months. We'll be writing each other, but that's not the same as speaking or seeing. It's hard for both of us, because we're going to miss the hell out of each other. I acted like my usual self and kept her laughing and smiling the entire night. I wanted to leave knowing she was happy, even if it ended the moment she got home. We were eating and she brought up her BF again, much to my dismay, but she kept pressing for my opinion. I flat out told her what I thought of him, his repulsiveness, and that their relationship is purely based on not wanting to lose him for the time "invested" in it. I told her that she is making herself unhappy, and that only she can correct it, and she simply replied with, "You're absolutely right."

    She just sat there for a while, then says "You know you can tell me whatever you might want to tell me now, right?"

    I didn't answer because I couldn't. She's 'committed', I'm leaving, and it would just be weird to tell her what was on my mind. The question kind of faded away and we went on to more random places. We hugged, I pecked her cheek, and we said our goodbyes. She called me several more times when I got home and told me I had her smiling the whole way home.

    :hs: So I'm kind of in a daze. Should I feel bad about this? Should I have answered? Is there potential in the future? I'll be seeing her again when Uncle Sam lets me, but I just don't know ...
  2. Zenmang

    Zenmang New Member

    Jul 31, 2006
    Likes Received:
    Ouch tough call.

    Oh well, I would've done the same thing. Timing is everything and it sounds as though this wasn't the right time for you and her.

    You'll be still writing to each other so you'll get the heads up that way.

    Reason why I would have done the same thing is;
    1) you're leaving why start something serious now?
    2) she's in a relationship regardless of whether it's bad or not.
    3) she should have some time to reflect on her own life instead of jumping in on another relationship, especcially one that's going to be long distance relationship. Regardless of whether you are leaving or not, you still shouldn't jump into a relationship imho.

    So if she's there for you when you get back and she has been waiting for you the whole time. By all means go for it. I think you made a great choice for now!!
  3. CelticElite

    CelticElite New Member

    Jul 28, 2006
    Likes Received:
    yeah, the best part of it all, is the simple fact that you kept all your options open, especially when you come back and are ready for a relationship.
  4. dura

    dura Guest

    Thanks guys, I'll be keeping in touch with her and we'll see where we are in a few months.
  5. dura

    dura Guest

    Alright, she's pregnant now. Nevermind.
  6. dura

    dura Guest


    I've been away for 4 1/2 mos and I'm back in town now.

    I conjured up more things about her when I returned, and I agree with just about everything in your post. I don't really care about her situation anymore and I'm trying my best to avoid her while I'm at home. The only negative thing that comes out of this is the friends that we both share that I WILL lose, but that's life. I'm ready to forget about everything here that is not part of my family.
  7. jshively

    jshively OT Supporter

    Sep 18, 2003
    Likes Received:
    So you gave her the best of both worlds. Her boyfriend who probably knocks her socks off in the sack and the emotional relationship she craves with you. You make her emotionally stable and give her hope and he gets to reap your rewards.

    This girl is nothing but trouble and till she realizes she can't fix people will always keep craving the bad boy because she believes she can change them.

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