...with a friend of mine who is bi. Got hit on by this Filippino guy who just kind of bobbed happily, high off of our pheromones or whatever it is that drew him to us, while my friend snubbed the FUCK out of him in a way that was highly bitchy / prickish. (I told my friend off about it later.) I think when someone has something you want that does not entitle you to a bitch shield... I have seen very hot girls who get approached all the time be nice to everyone and I have seen very average girls who get approached regularly be huge bitches. Anyways, I sat there while this guy kept talking to me... about nothing. He would just let the conversation stall and then stare with a big smile on his face. I had no problem with it of course. Why would I, if anything it is flattering. But what disturbed me was that this guy just took it as my friend pretended he did not exist. It was horrible for me to watch. It wasn't just the way the Filippino was behaving and the way my friend was behaving, it was the simple, fundamental power imbalance of the guy who has and the guy who wants. AND of course that is parallel to heterosexuality: the guy approaches, wanting, while the girl selects, having. Later that night I went to a bar and sat next to a pair of girls who I would have enjoyed talking to, not because they were attractive, which they weren't, but simply because they were company. Behind me, a very (very, very) drunk man who in *every single specific regard* was my inferior - height, facial attractiveness, physique, intelligence (presumably), age, pitch of voice, I mean take your pick - started talking to them in a loud voice. They were very happy just because they finally had some conversation. If I had started talking to them they would have been happy if I had been the hunchback of notre dame. But I didn't open my mouth because I didn't want to be that Filippino guy. I almost see why some people take the passive approach. "If something is in the cards, then it will happen to me, without me having to look for it." It's almost worth not making the effort to meet people simply to avoid humiliating yourself like that Filippino. And this is not something theoretical, this is something you see with experience. If you want some proof PM me, we will go to a gay bar together and then go to a straight bar and see where the power lies.