Dangerousmind
bad-ass amnesiac
The main irk with my life, now and for the past 5 years, has been a lack of an intimate relationship with the opposite sex (females). I'm 21 now and have been in two relationships in my life, both of which were enjoyable, and both of which were not initiated by me. That, I believe, is my main problem, I want to have a relationship with somebody, but I just don't know how to take something from the friends level to a more serious relationship level.
I don't really have a problem talking to girls, it's just that when I do it never seems to be in a way where I could never see myself making that move past friendship. For example: I met, on two separate occasions, this weekend two girls. Each one I though was great looking, nice, smart, etc., basically a person that I would want to try to initiate a relationship with. But after each night when I looked back on the situations, I realized that even though I would have liked to "make a move" on one of these girls it would have been very awkward for me to try, and I probably would have failed horribly.
Another testament to my lack of skill in starting intimate relationships is that I have quite a few friends that are girls that at one point I had a crush on, but just never worked up enough courage to make a move, and basically got stuck in friendship mode (not that that is a bad thing.)
I'm not really sure what my problem is. Sometimes I think I just don't have enough courage and I should try harder, but at the same time I feel that that isn't really who I am. Sometimes I think that I'm being too nice and friendly and that ruins the whole dynamic from the start; but do you have to be a flirtatious jerk to get a girl? Sometimes I feel like maybe they just plain 'ole don't want me for an intimate relationship, and if they did they would have made the move.
I'm very confused with the whole thing, and it's very awkward and uncomfortable topic for me; but so frustrating because it's really what I want. I feel very alone sometimes and would love to have a partner that's more than just a friend. I'm not sure if there is even any advice that can be given to me, but I just needed to get my feeling about this out.
I don't really have a problem talking to girls, it's just that when I do it never seems to be in a way where I could never see myself making that move past friendship. For example: I met, on two separate occasions, this weekend two girls. Each one I though was great looking, nice, smart, etc., basically a person that I would want to try to initiate a relationship with. But after each night when I looked back on the situations, I realized that even though I would have liked to "make a move" on one of these girls it would have been very awkward for me to try, and I probably would have failed horribly.
Another testament to my lack of skill in starting intimate relationships is that I have quite a few friends that are girls that at one point I had a crush on, but just never worked up enough courage to make a move, and basically got stuck in friendship mode (not that that is a bad thing.)
I'm not really sure what my problem is. Sometimes I think I just don't have enough courage and I should try harder, but at the same time I feel that that isn't really who I am. Sometimes I think that I'm being too nice and friendly and that ruins the whole dynamic from the start; but do you have to be a flirtatious jerk to get a girl? Sometimes I feel like maybe they just plain 'ole don't want me for an intimate relationship, and if they did they would have made the move.
I'm very confused with the whole thing, and it's very awkward and uncomfortable topic for me; but so frustrating because it's really what I want. I feel very alone sometimes and would love to have a partner that's more than just a friend. I'm not sure if there is even any advice that can be given to me, but I just needed to get my feeling about this out.