I thought a lot about us and the relationship we had.
We had a lot of fun and nice memories but I have also realized how unsensetive Ive been a lof of times.
Maybe you dont wanna hear it now but I still wanna to apolgize for some things...
For not appreciating you enough and for hurting you and for all the pain and tears I caused too many times.
I denied you everytime you shared something that bothered you instead of listening and taking it seriously.
I dont wanna say I was a douchebag all the time but sometimes I was. You never deserved it. You were always so nice to me.
Perhaps a bit late but rather later than never so I want to give you my sincere apoligy
Yeah I get that. She has a good relationship with her fam. Her dad is great. Her family is really warm and nice to be around."You're 9 years older than me and I feel weird that you've already been married before and gone through it all" is not "barely nothing". Those are valid concerns.
My 2nd wife is 8 years younger. She had not been married before. I understand what she is saying, I wouldn't dismiss it as "barely nothing." She probably imagined getting married and going through all these new things together with a partner to experience it all the first time together. She may feel that you're stealing some of her thunder (unintentionally). Can't fault her for feeling that.
Was her dad around growing up? Or what was her family life like?
Honestly, if you can't put yourself in a position to be friends-only, then you need to reiterate what your feelings are/were, and say you understand she doesn't feel the same way, and in the interest of everyone's wellbeing, respectfully you need to cut off communication. That you can't see yourself being "friends" without wanting more. Otherwise, you're still going to be on her hook and it'll make it hard for you to move on.