Ok first off, this is very hard for me to talk about, let alone tell strangers about it. But its basically a plead for help. That is how much I want to help my bro in law, to make this kind of thread. Second, this is a long long story, that has carried over for 4 or 5 months now. I will try to make it short as I can so you guys are not left with an endless novel. I just got home from spending the afternoon with him talking to him and trying to make him feel better, and I tell you coming from someone like myself who suffers from emotional depression myself...every time I see him, the more I worry about him, the more depressing it is to see the emotional and mental state that he is in. He is an absolute wreck right now He is getting worse and worse. My sister is 29 and her hubby is 32). I also have three sisters who are all married and all around the same age range - so he definitely has tons of support from his family and ours. The things he said today really got to me - he basically said he wished he wasnt alive, he wished he was in heaven. Seeing my sister cry, makes me cry, seeing anyone of my family members cry, I cry. He wishes when he was in the hospital, that he never lived because of what hes goin through right now. 4 months ago, out of nowhere he almost died - he woke up, went out with his mom as planned in the day and his body temp just all of a sudden just spiked and he got all dizzy, he was seeing things, etc. His mom took him to the clinic, in which when he took his temperature, the DR immediately told him to go to the hospital - so they did. He knew something was wrong, very wrong. Apparently his body temp. was only about 5 degrees from dying from shock. So his mother brings him to emergency and next thing you know he was in there for about a week. Thats how long it took just to get his body temp. down and everything back to moderate levels. THis was also when DRs were finally able to diagnose what the cause was, and it is a disease that is one of the rarest in human kind. I cant even spell it or pronounce it properly, but 1 in 500,000 people have it, that is how rare it is. What this did was caused his brain to swell that day, to the point where it almost shut down - he was very close to dying. Now, he is left with brain damage and memory loss. Its not severe memory loss, as he was working with specialists in the hospital to regain his memory (and has made progress), but he is definitely not the person 4 months ago and that makes everyone sad So after the first 10 days, he ended up getting transfered to another hospital who specializes in rare disorders like this and have physchologists/specialists to work one on one with him specifically on stuff like this. He ended up spending 2 months total in both hospitals. During that time, he was doing daily testing and working with specialists to help gain his memory back. Family and I would visit him on a weekly basis, sometimes more. He seemed upbeat and positive about things. Everytime I would see him, I would give him words of encouragement that he will eventually get his memory back. Its a working progress but everything in life is. He just has to stay positive. He is a bright man, and he can overcome this, I know he can, we all know he can. He knows he can, but his emotions are just too overwhelming for him to handle right now. Since he got out 2 months ago, that is where things have gone completely downhill. Hes still been going on a weekly basis to see the specialists, and also seeing another highly regarded phyciatrist on the side. But since getting out, about 3 weeks after he got out, he had a panick attack. It came with him and my sister were home on a fri night and all of a sudden he could not breathe. He had to be rushed in an ambulance and was out of the hospital the next day. He basically cannot sleep right now, and ever since day one. We are not 100% sure on this, but he has a good feeling that the part of the brain where he has permanent damage is the part that allows your body to shutdown (sleep). And no matter what he does, what he is pescribed by his DR, he simply cannot sleep. He has not slept for 2 months! He is always tired, and obviously lack of sleep results in more stress and anxiety and more depression. He knows once he gets to sleep normally, everything will start to return back to normal. But the problem is, how? He is feeling hopeless right now, he truly believes that the DRs have no solution to overcoming this. And to be honest with you, this is what scares me, because of the 11 years Ive known him - I have never ever seen him in this emotional wreck ever. He even said today that he sees no improvement in him, no future in him, he just wants to die. His willingness to see anymore DRs is dropping and dropping by the day. I told him that he needs to get on anti-depressants. Which one that will be is up to the DR. But the first step is believing in the DRs that he can help you overcome this. He has absolutely no faith in anything right now. From 2 months ago till today, this guy has taken a complete 180. So I need to know what I can do for him right now. Ive said everything I possibly could to him (everyone in the family has). But its so hard for me to see him like this. Hes also coming over for dinner in a bit here, so I have a couple more hours to spend with him. I just dont know what to do. I cant bare to see him like this. This is a guy who has always been one of the most positive, motivated, spirited people ive known in my life. His dream was always to fly a plane - he is crazy about planes. He got his pilot license a year ago, graduated from flying school before that, and was just about to become a professional full time pilot for a major airlines. And now this happens....chances of him ever flying a plane again are zero He might not even be able to work again! He is here now so I have to cut things short as Im going to keep him company and I will be back in a bit.