LOVE What do I do about it? vs I'm pretty sure she wants to bone my SO.

Queenpkn

New Member
Aug 23, 2006
2,005
So here's the deal.

Saturday at a Halloween party for my SO's company I met the secretary. This chic was obviously crunked. Anyhow, she screams when she see's him and runs up to hug him. Which is cool. But then when he introduced me, she shook my fingertips and never looked at me and mumbled "nice to meet you"

I thought that was weird because every other girl I met there shook my hand, looked at me smiled, etc. I tried to brush it off figuring the chic was just drunk.

So later on, this girl is in line at the bathroom with me and we have this conversation:

Girl:"Hi, have I met you"
Me:"Yes, you're XXXXX I just met you outside."
Girl:"Who do you know, who are you here with?"
Me:"I'm here with XXXX, he's my boyfriend"
Girl:"omg, seriously, dude, he is like seriously, I'm not attracted to him, but he's like the best guy I've ever met. He is so awesome, I'm not attracted to him but he really the coolest guy I've met in my whole life. I told him, his girlfriend is sooo lucky to be with him. You are so lucky to be with him. But I'm not attracted to him, like he's cool and but I'm not attracted or anything like that.
Me: (chuckle) "yup, he's a great guy"
Girl: "At work he's always just sooo cool, his attitude everything, I'm not attracted but he's the best guy I've ever met, but I'm not attracted.
Me: "yup"

Bathroom door opens and she goes in. I dont know exaclty how to feel at this point. Because I didnt like the way she initially came off at me, then this conversation made me feel more uncomfortable.

I mean different thoughts were going through my head. They still are...like:
  1. Since she said "I'm not attracted to him" many times throughout the conversation, I felt like she was trying to convince herself, because she wasnt convincing me. :ugh2:
  2. She wants to bone my b/f. :o
  3. I kind of took the "You're lucky to be with him" as a backhanded compliment. But, she was drunk, maybe it was meant at a compliment. :dunno:
Later on in the evening I was feeling upset but trying not to be and still having a good time. I was hanging out with some other girls I met and I told them what happened and asked them if I should blow it off and stop being upset.

They end up telling a story about this same secretary. They say a few weeks prior, they are partying with her at a club and she was drunk and grinding all up on their friends b/f. There friend was pregnant and got upset and was like wtf. They kind of said something but she didnt care and kept rubbing booty and stuff on his cock.

I wasnt there so I dont know for sure, but I'm not really liking her and I'm upset and dont know what to do about it now. Like seriously what do I do? What can I do?


Cliff: Met SO's secretary at company Halloween party and she pretty much wants to bone him and is the company whore. I'm upset, what do I do?
 

jmezz

layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours
Nov 26, 2004
11,036
Did you tell your bf about this?

She's definitely interested in him. Who knows for how long, but at this point there's some interest going on.
 
TS
TS
Queenpkn

Queenpkn

New Member
Aug 23, 2006
2,005
Did you tell your bf about this?

She's definitely interested in him. Who knows for how long, but at this point there's some interest going on.
Yes, I told him at the party what happened. His first reaction was that he got upset with me and told me not to cause drama? Which made me upset because I felt like he wasnt sticking up for me.

But he knows me better than that, so we spoke about it a little bit and he said I should take it as a compliment that she thinks of him that way.

I know girls who think my b/f is funny and cool and they tell me, "omg he's sooo funny, or he's a cool guy" but they dont tell me several times they're NOT attracted to him.
 
TS
TS
Queenpkn

Queenpkn

New Member
Aug 23, 2006
2,005
Do you trust your boyfriend? If so, nothing to worry about really.
Yes, I trust him.

It's not that I'm worried about him cheating. I mean if she hit on him I believe he would push her away or whatever. It's that I think she's the type of girl who would try anyway. That alone makes me just not like her, that makes me want to slap her for being such a whore.

I guess I just dont even want him in that situation. That's disrespectful.
 

Lateralus

Active Member
Sep 4, 2001
5,931
Midwest
She obviously into your boyfriend. If you trust him and he isn't an idiot you have nothing to worry about.
 

Toroweedeater99

Registered E-thug
Oct 30, 2008
106
Jail
Lol this girl is a fine example of drama queen. Here is how i plays out. She says something to get you bothered. You come off as the jealous g/f. He comes to work and bitches about the fight. She comes off as the sympathetic one and and says "i didn't mean anything about the comment. I just wanted to compliment you and how great you are." Don't give her the power or satisfaction. Just drop the issue. If it happens again make a joke of it and don't let it bother you. "XXXXXX trapped me in the bathroom again. I'll just have to duck/hide when i need to go to the bathroom next company party so i can have some privacy but its always great to, and I welcome the any opportunity to talk and brag about having the greatest man on the world." feeding the ego and bringing the issue up. you don't come off jealous and if your b/f had 2 cents of sense he will see what the attention whore is trying to pull.
 

iwishyouwerebeer

you shut your cunt
Sep 1, 2006
31,941
This wouldn't be an issue if you really trusted your SO. I've read countless threads and even more posts from you about you and your boyfriends relationship and it's not a secret that you have a ton of self-esteem issues.

If you love and trust your boyfriend and he loves you he's not going to take the bait. The bait=his secretary.

There's nothing you can do in this situation but trust him :dunno: It's not your business to freak out over her or cause your boyfriend stress.
 
Last edited:

Vysion

New Member
Aug 30, 2003
4,694
Twin Cities, MN
Your boyfriend sounds like an awesome guy... but I'm not attracted to him.

You should go home and give him a BJ just to show him how much you appreciate him being so awesome.

He wouldn't even think about that secretary chick if you did that.
 

BrinkofSanity

not much you can/should do as its in your bf's court.

nothing wrong w. you being upset. same thing happens at my work. i get hit on and i just take it as a compliment and move on.
 
TS
TS
Queenpkn

Queenpkn

New Member
Aug 23, 2006
2,005
Lol this girl is a fine example of drama queen. Here is how i plays out. She says something to get you bothered. You come off as the jealous g/f. He comes to work and bitches about the fight. She comes off as the sympathetic one and and says "i didn't mean anything about the comment. I just wanted to compliment you and how great you are." Don't give her the power or satisfaction. Just drop the issue. If it happens again make a joke of it and don't let it bother you. "XXXXXX trapped me in the bathroom again. I'll just have to duck/hide when i need to go to the bathroom next company party so i can have some privacy but its always great to, and I welcome the any opportunity to talk and brag about having the greatest man on the world." feeding the ego and bringing the issue up. you don't come off jealous and if your b/f had 2 cents of sense he will see what the attention whore is trying to pull.

Yeah, I think I will just try and drop it. I just havent had someone come up to me like that. I guess I also was like wtf, because I wouldnt be that way to anyones g/f. I guess I have much more class! ;)

This wouldn't be an issue if you really trusted your SO. I've read countless threads and even more posts from you about you and your boyfriends relationship and it's not a secret that you have a ton of self-esteem issues.

If you love and trust your boyfriend and he loves you he's not going to take the bait. The bait=his secretary.

There's nothing you can doin this situation but trust him :dunno: It's not your business to freak out over her or cause your boyfriend stress.

I've probably never really posted a serious relationship thread on here. Most of the ones I've posted in Offtopic are me bullshitting or taking someone else's story for laughs.

Loving & trusting my b/f has nothing to do with how I feel about her. Let's put it this way, if some co-worker guy acted the same way. My b/f wouldnt be upset with me, just like I"m not upset with him. Although he probably would say something like "I dont like that faggot....etc" He trusts me, doesnt mean he has to like that guy.

I'm not freaking out, I'm just like hmmmm wow how am I suppose to treat this.

Your boyfriend sounds like an awesome guy... but I'm not attracted to him.

You should go home and give him a BJ just to show him how much you appreciate him being so awesome.

He wouldn't even think about that secretary chick if you did that.

:rofl: done!
 

iwishyouwerebeer

you shut your cunt
Sep 1, 2006
31,941
I've probably never really posted a serious relationship thread on here. Most of the ones I've posted in Offtopic are me bullshitting or taking someone else's story for laughs.

Loving & trusting my b/f has nothing to do with how I feel about her. Let's put it this way, if some co-worker guy acted the same way. My b/f wouldnt be upset with me, just like I"m not upset with him. Although he probably would say something like "I dont like that faggot....etc" He trusts me, doesnt mean he has to like that guy.

I'm not freaking out, I'm just like hmmmm wow how am I suppose to treat this.
Oh you've posted threads. Some have been deleted as well as posts, but I've read them.

Anyway, the point of the matter is that you can do nothing in this situaiton. You can stress all you want about what a "slut," or "bitch" she is for being attracted you your SO, but at the end of the day who gives a fuck? You think the chicks before who have told you "oh your bf is sooo funny" didn't want to fuck him? Well they would most likely. Just because they weren't cute, his secretary and drunkenly saying gushing about him being great doesn't mean they didn't feel the exact same way. So you can either worry about every girl your bf comes in contact with or realize he's a catch and appreciate him for that.

There's a chick that works with my bf who very obviously likes him. I've known this for a long time now and it just makes me laugh when I'm around her. He comes home to me every night. I don't even care if while they work he flirts with her because I still know he's not going to do shit.

Stop worrying about her, it will solve nothing.
 

BrinkofSanity

why do people in this forum always have to act like they shine w. confidence and security?

i like how beer has to bring up how the TS should not be upset, just let it go, it must mean you do not trust your bf, etc....

even though you are right. there is nothing you can do other then dropping it is ok to be upset by it.

dont let some of these people fool you into thinking that they would not be bothered by it.
 
TS
TS
Queenpkn

Queenpkn

New Member
Aug 23, 2006
2,005
I would have responded to my boyfriend: :slap:
lol

i love women

"I'm not attracted to him" means that she is 100% without a doubt attracted to him.

:rofl:

silly bitches
.

Oh you've posted threads. Some have been deleted as well as posts, but I've read them.

Anyway, the point of the matter is that you can do nothing in this situaiton. You can stress all you want about what a "slut," or "bitch" she is for being attracted you your SO, but at the end of the day who gives a fuck? You think the chicks before who have told you "oh your bf is sooo funny" didn't want to fuck him? Well they would most likely. Just because they weren't cute, his secretary and drunkenly saying gushing about him being great doesn't mean they didn't feel the exact same way. So you can either worry about every girl your bf comes in contact with or realize he's a catch and appreciate him for that.

There's a chick that works with my bf who very obviously likes him. I've known this for a long time now and it just makes me laugh when I'm around her. He comes home to me every night. I don't even care if while they work he flirts with her because I still know he's not going to do shit.

Stop worrying about her, it will solve nothing.
I like everything you have said here and I think it's great for you. I personally know my b/f is very flirtatious and knows he flirts he does it in front of me, I laugh. With all women, pretty ugly, doesnt matter.

And Ive seen women interested in him in front of me and we've joked about it like "dang she wants you" and we laugh. But those women we're different towards me personally. I think it was the whole dismissal of the hand shake and not looking at me at all and the way she did it. I really wish I could show you. It was just that disrespect that I'm really bothered by the most. I just felt like it was done because she does like him. which fine, like him but dont disrespect me because I will slap a bitch.

but I agree with what you've said a lot!

she most likely isn't interested in him, she was just being drunk and stupid.
Well I told him I want to meet her when she's sober.

I think this is pretty straight forward? she's attracted to him and is attempting to infiltrate.
:hs:
 

iwishyouwerebeer

you shut your cunt
Sep 1, 2006
31,941
why do people in this forum always have to act like they shine w. confidence and security?

i like how beer has to bring up how the TS should not be upset, just let it go, it must mean you do not trust your bf, etc....

even though you are right. there is nothing you can do other then dropping it it is ok to be upset by it.

dont let some of these people fool you into thinking that they would not be bothered by it.
Umm, I never said she's not allowed to be upset by it, but there's a difference between someone who internally goes "oh man, I think that girl likes my bf....:noes:" to a girl who is so worried about it she brought it up to other girls at the party so she could get dirt on the girl, tells her bf in an accusatory way and then expects some kind of response from him to ease all her fears.

For all we know the bf thinks the chick in unattractive or annoying as hell. So again, the only "advice" we can give this girl is to forget about it. Bringing it up to her SO numerous times will only turn him off at her insecurity. As long as she trusts him she has nothing to worry about.

I think you are getting a little defensive since you have admitted before that you have insecurity issues and that's fine, but if she's asking for advice on what to do it's pretty pointless to say "aww there there! she's just some whore."
 
TS
TS
Queenpkn

Queenpkn

New Member
Aug 23, 2006
2,005
why do people in this forum always have to act like they shine w. confidence and security?

i like how beer has to bring up how the TS should not be upset, just let it go, it must mean you do not trust your bf, etc....

even though you are right. there is nothing you can do other then dropping it is ok to be upset by it.

dont let some of these people fool you into thinking that they would not be bothered by it.
I think some people arent bothered by it. But I also think some are and I think everyone's situation is different.

I am bothered by that chic and that will not change. That has nothing to do with how I feel about my SO or myself.
 

iwishyouwerebeer

you shut your cunt
Sep 1, 2006
31,941
And Ive seen women interested in him in front of me and we've joked about it like "dang she wants you" and we laugh. But those women we're different towards me personally. I think it was the whole dismissal of the hand shake and not looking at me at all and the way she did it. I really wish I could show you. It was just that disrespect that I'm really bothered by the most. I just felt like it was done because she does like him. which fine, like him but dont disrespect me because I will slap a bitch.

but I agree with what you've said a lot!
I totally understand what you are saying about her coming off very disrespectful of you, there's no doubt in my mind that would bother me as well. When I first met the girl my bf works with that has a crush on him I got the SAME kind of vibe from her and thought "well, that's girls rude :rofl:" but my point is still that there is nothing you can do to change this girl or how she acts. To this day whenever I see the girl from my bf's work she still gives me the cold shoulder and I just shrug it off :dunno:

You mention your bf is a flirt, so it's pretty obvious why deep down this is really an issue for you; I just hope you don't let this fear tear your insides.
 

Chicane

Ad Hoc
OT Supporter
May 4, 2001
17,963
West Virginia
You really don't do anything.

If your boyfriend likes/loves you and he has an ounce of maturity then he won't ride the company bicycle.

If you make a big deal to him about that woman, then he will allow it to become a big deal in his head. Dismiss the tramp, don't talk about her any more than he does and she will just be another mistake that he won't fuck.
 

BrinkofSanity

Umm, I never said she's not allowed to be upset by it, but there's a difference between someone who internally goes "oh man, I think that girl likes my bf....:noes:" to a girl who is so worried about it she brought it up to other girls at the party so she could get dirt on the girl, tells her bf in an accusatory way and then expects some kind of response from him to ease all her fears.

For all we know the bf thinks the chick in unattractive or annoying as hell. So again, the only "advice" we can give this girl is to forget about it. Bringing it up to her SO numerous times will only turn him off at her insecurity. As long as she trusts him she has nothing to worry about.

I think you are getting a little defensive since you have admitted before that you have insecurity issues and that's fine, but if she's asking for advice on what to do it's pretty pointless to say "aww there there! she's just some whore."

im not getting defensive. why would i be about something i admitted to being?

the only difference is that i embrace it and understand it as being part of human nature. while you supress it but putting forth a front of never being bothered, insecure, etc.
 
TS
TS
Queenpkn

Queenpkn

New Member
Aug 23, 2006
2,005
I totally understand what you are saying about her coming off very disrespectful of you, there's no doubt in my mind that would bother me as well. When I first met the girl my bf works with that has a crush on him I got the SAME kind of vibe from her and thought "well, that's girls rude :rofl:" but my point is still that there is nothing you can do to change this girl or how she acts. To this day whenever I see the girl from my bf's work she still gives me the cold shoulder and I just shrug it off :dunno:

You mention your bf is a flirt, so it's pretty obvious why deep down this is really an issue for you; I just hope you don't let this fear tear your insides.

We're both flirts, lets put it that way. But it's cool. That's not why it bothers me. I think it's just the type of person I am. I dont let people disprespect me, I will say something or do something about it. The only reason I didnt was because I respect my b/f and that being a co-worker. Therefore brought it up for him to handle.

Example: some chic was very disrespectful to my friends fiance at their own engagement party and the bride to be didnt say anything. I did say something because to me that's bullshit. The chic apologized and changed her attitude really quick.

I will not let the fear tear my insides. (i like the way that sounds btw lol)

You really don't do anything.

If your boyfriend likes/loves you and he has an ounce of maturity then he won't ride the company bicycle.

If you make a big deal to him about that woman, then he will allow it to become a big deal in his head. Dismiss the tramp, don't talk about her any more than he does and she will just be another mistake that he won't fuck.

yeah I'm definitley not going to bust his balls about it or anything like that.

I think it's reasonable to let your BF know what happened, say that it made you feel a bit disrespected, and leave it at that [no need to get into the whole "OMG SHE TOTALLY WANTS YOU BLAH BLAH BLAH" or anything like that] :dunno: If he's a good guy as you said, he'll respect that and make sure there are appropriate boundaries set with this girl.

Other than that, if you trust your BF, there is really nothing you can do about it. I know it sucks, I've had other girls reaaaaaaaaally like my SO's before, but you have to let your rational side be > than your emotional side in this situation :hs:

I mean there is obviously nothing I can do. You are all right. I was just really upset about it and wanted to see how ya'll would have or would still handle it.
 

razi

New Member
Jan 6, 2007
1,043
if she comes up in conversation again, tell him something along the lines of "meh, you can do better." ;)
 

Users who are viewing this thread

About Us

  • Please do not post anything that violates any Local, State, Federal or International Laws. Your privacy is protected. You have the right to be forgotten. Site funded by advertising, link monetization and member support.
OT v15.8.1 Copyright © 2000-2022 Offtopic.com
Served by fu.offtopic.com

Online statistics

Members online
101
Guests online
25
Total visitors
126

Forum statistics

Threads
369,643
Messages
16,903,196
Members
86,875
Latest member
Theodor