What generational / childhood trauma are you dealing with as an adult?

BStork

Suck My Beak From The Back™️
OT Supporter
Apr 28, 2007
39,483
We always had to make a happy plate / finish all of our food or else we'd be in trouble. That of course caused us to ignore our bodies and made overeating become the norm. We don't make our kids ever finish their food, no matter how frustrating it may be to us.

Food is a constant battle and it fucking sucks, tbh.

/Blog
 

wildflower

OT Supporter
May 17, 2002
122,240
No place for older men
We always had to make a happy plate / finish all of our food or else we'd be in trouble. That of course caused us to ignore our bodies and made overeating become the norm. We don't make our kids ever finish their food, no matter how frustrating it may be to us.

Food is a constant battle and it fucking sucks, tbh.

/Blog
We had that too. Finish all your food and it'll be a good day tomorrow.
And i get it.

My folks grew up during the depression and you ate whatever was put in front of you. Usually not quite enough.
Tough pieces of meat, gristle, fat, whatever. If we had sausages, my dad would grab a piece of white bread and sop up the grease from the skillet.
Back then, eating what was put in front of you was the forefront of eating healthy.

Now we have everything, too much, and I tell my grandkids don't eat if you're not hungry.
 

wildflower

OT Supporter
May 17, 2002
122,240
No place for older men
My entire family is Emotionally stunted, FEELINGS are for girls and the weak

Conversations beyond the superficial level are scary and uncomfortable

Hence, I drink until I don’t have to feel feelings anymore 🥃

Salud!
One of the daughters has a bf that comes from a family like this. He is almost terrified to come and have dinner with us,
because we talk about anything, talk like happy fools, and have a great time. He sits and smiles nervously and says almost nothing.
 

TenSteel

*walks in Spanish*
OT Supporter
Nov 11, 2001
34,980
San Diego
One of the daughters has a bf that comes from a family like this. He is almost terrified to come and have dinner with us,
because we talk about anything, talk like happy fools, and have a great time. He sits and smiles nervously and says almost nothing.
I feel genuinely bad for him.
 

onyourchin

Well-Known Member
Aug 31, 2007
11,767
SF
I wish mental health wasn't so stigmatized, and that I'd gotten help 20 years ago.
Yep

Luckily now that I'm in my mid 30s and most of my close friends / peers are all dealing with some form of mental health issues, we're a lot more open about discussing them and sharing coping strategies, so at least we feel like we're in it together
 
  • Like
Reactions: stosstruppe

Meat Popsicle

You're stewed, butt wad!
OT Supporter
Apr 26, 2002
135,005
The Middle
My dad was a diesel mechanic who worked the night shift and also emotionally stunted.

I know he loves me but I've literally never heard him say "I love you" or "I'm proud of you" or anything like that.

Since he worked the nightshift he slept all day so the child raising was basically all my mom.


I think because of this I don't know how to make male friends. I can easily make "work friends" or "school friends", but outside of that context--making or maintaining male friendships is a mental block for me.

I also prefer female doctors, female bosses, etc. because I'm more comfortable with women in authority positions than men. It is what it is. :dunno:
 

Sphygmo

OT Supporter
Mar 23, 2007
282,086
i'm pretty much done with my dad and his whole side of the family. this election was the final straw, they're all wildin out and showing that they're all still complete trash

my dad has never addressed or apologized for the mental and physical abuse he put us through as children either

i'm just done with it
 

onyourchin

Well-Known Member
Aug 31, 2007
11,767
SF
i'm pretty much done with my dad and his whole side of the family. this election was the final straw, they're all wildin out and showing that they're all still complete trash

my dad has never addressed or apologized for the mental and physical abuse he put us through as children either

i'm just done with it
Try forgiving him in your heart. It's hard as fuck, but it's necessary before you can move on and let go of the anger. Holding on to it only hurts you
 
  • Like
Reactions: Cicada and Sphygmo

zedekias

Well-Known Member
Feb 27, 2006
27,256
Castle Rock, CO
I had two best friends and three other friends all die within 3-4 years of each other. All between 17-21 years old. So any time someone calls me back to back or at odd hours I think someone else is dead.

Or if my wife doesn't get back to me in a normal time frame I start to freak out.
 

Mr3plus1

Too many projects
Dec 24, 2001
24,366
Tomball, TX
I cant remember a single moment my dad ever said he loved me and my mom has said it only a handful of times. I know they both do, though, so its not something that really fucked me up emotionally. I tell my kids I love them all the time as a result of that, though...not wanting to make the same mistake. My parents also never gave out hugs or handshakes or anything, so physical touch was a weird thing for me to overcome at a young age....even as I got older when it was just with platonic friends it always felt awkward and unnatural. My dad also rarely - if ever - praised me, but was always quick to criticize. As a result both my sister and I are over-achievers and my brother wont try anything for fear of failure (and as a result stagnates in life).

None of these are really deep seated problems. I grew up in a family that valued nightly family dinners and I cant say I ever wanted for anything. They put me in sports and paid for my college. They taught me that hard work pays off in the end and to value the work you do. They helped me out financially in times of need and have been great for my kids.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

About Us

  • Please do not post anything that violates any Local, State, Federal or International Laws. Your privacy is protected. You have the right to be forgotten. Site funded by advertising, link monetization and member support.
OT v15.13.2 Copyright © 2000-2023 Offtopic.com
Served by fx.offtopic.com

Online statistics

Members online
144
Guests online
55
Total visitors
199

Forum statistics

Threads
79,460
Messages
7,744,268
Members
87,084
Latest member
abdallahppp6