I'm 29, making $75k in the computer field, and i am the stereotypical geek. i have very few aquaintances, no true friends, and a loner by trait. i spend my free time playing video games, in front of the computer, or watching tv. I've had sex, but with hookers (condoms). and i do not ever want to kiss them since i dont know where their mouth's been. I know Step 1: go out and meet people. but WHERE??? just hang out at a bar a few weeks till u get to know the regulars? Or...??? Suggestions pls?! UPDATE: it's been a month now, and no improvement eye contact isn't any better. after a week, i'm back to my old self i've stopped remembering to immediately look the next person in the eye when i don't look the previous i was talking to in the eye. w/o the ability to automatically look people in the eye contact, i dont see how i can get out and be social i see eye contact as the KEY to being social. Without eyecontact, i cant see anyway to get past the first step i'll give the non-drug route a little bit more time, then i'm switching to a psychiatrist to see if there's any prescription drugs that can help me. (eye contact, depression, anger, frustration, etc) sigh... UPDATE2: ok..giving a psychologist another try. not quitting my job. as someone pointed out, i need my current job to pay for him. i'm talking to him about self esteem. he said don't feel bad about failures. acknowledge them, then move on. we're all human and we all screw up. we shouldnt beat ourselves up. next visit i'm going to talk about how lack of eye contact makes me feel. any better suggestions as the topic for my next visit? there's a psychiatrist in the same practice. i might make an appt to see him about drugs. i am afraid to approach people because of my lack of eye contact. i just never succeed in making a good impression. i guess rejection and looking stupid is my fear. I know Paxil is for social anxiety, but will it help in my situation? if so, HOW??? UPDATE 3 (9/04): my psychologist diagnosed me with ADHD. went to a psychiatrist to get ritalin. went back to my phychologist to verify that i have ADHD by taking the blinking cursor test on the computer (forgot name). I took the test w/o ritalin, then a week later took it again w/Ritalin. my scores improved moderately thus verifying that i have ADHD. (normal people's scores do no improve, or just very slightly.) also, i thought my lack of eye contact was caused by my social anxiety. my psychiatrist looked at it another way. my social anxiety might have been caused by my inability to do eye contact. chicken and the egg... anyway, he said ritalin should improve my concentration, which in turn should improve my eye contact. he started me off w/5mg 3x/day and said i can double the dosage after 10 days, then goto 15mg after another 10days if i feel like i need it. well, the 1st couple of days worked great. i felt wired, and was making eye contact. then it stopped and eye contact went back to lousy again. i have not noticed any difference w/10mg. will try 15mg next week.