Discussion in 'On Topic' started by jay7430, Jun 14, 2007.
He just found out, how do you comfort a friend who knows his mom has a big chance of dying?
All you really can do is tell him that you are there for him and that is he needs to talk you will listen. And if there is anything you can do for him you will be happy to.
Just say it sincerly and actually mean it. He will know you mean it. Just saying those few things could mean a world of difference.
Similar situation...when I found out my grandma (since passed away) had cancer a good friend of mine (who was in the situation you are in now) did just that and it meant the world to me. I was 19 and in college and had a million sources of stress in my life. The added stress of the cancer was enough to drive me crazy. He made sure that I knew he would always be there if I needed someone.
The other thing he said I really appreciated. He said whether I need someone to talk to...or I need someone to do something to help me get my mind off of it, he would help. That was the best. Because even though it made me said, sometimes I just needed to think about something else. Give me mind a break.
You don't say anything.
When my mom was diagnosed, I had just turned 17. Every one wanted to tell me how sorry they were. Everyone wanted to talk about it- it was HORRIBLE. I was at my conference final track meet about 6 weeks after she was diagnosed and my friend's parents came up to me, crying, telling me how sorry they were. Thank God for my best friend who pulled them aside and told them that I was thankful for their concern but that was awful timing.
It was my best friends who didn't bring it up and it was that support that meant the world to me. We went out and acted like nothing was going on. They knew that if I wanted to talk about it then I would. They also understood that cancer was something I had to go home to everyday- I didn't want to be reminded of it when I wasn't there.
My best friends were the ones who would randomly take me out to dinner or would just show up at my house unannounced on a Saturday afternoon and take me out for an hour, just so I could get away for a bit. One friend of mine would leave me a gourmet cupcake and a pack of smokes in my locker every Friday morning. No note. No explanation. Just because.
Your friend knows you're sad for them. You don't have to say it. You know your friend- support them the way they need it most.
Good luck and Godspeed