SRS Where to turn?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Murray, Nov 4, 2009.

  1. Murray

    Murray Humbug OT Supporter

    Jan 6, 2005
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    My recent break up hasn't been easy for me, and it still isn't. Been about 2 1/2 months since my ex and I have broken up (and i've been through breakups before) The hardest parts about it are knowing now that she's seeing somebody else and the break up was completely my fault. I'd do anything to get her back, but i've had so many chances to fix us when we were together but my anger/depression only made it worse, and I directed it towards the relationship. She tried so hard to get me help, especially after she found me dead to the world at 5pm after a night of multiple lorazapams and 3/4 of a bacardi bottle gone. I would just tell her I could change, I would get help. Never did, got worse, now I'm alone.

    Money situation sucks right now, bills and shit add up faster than the money comes in. My friends, in order to just get me out will constantly offer to buy me drinks, pay for food etc.. It's a nice gesture and all but has only made me worse because I constantly feel like a burden, and I've been trying to shy away from going out with them to avoid it. And staying away from my friends has NEVER been something I would do since I've always considered them my family and always wanted to be around them as much as possible.

    It's been getting overwhelmingly worse the past few days. My friends are all out right now having a few drinks and good conversation and here I am like a hermit taking multiple online depression tests for the hell of it. Each one tells me to get help but I dont have insurance at the moment, and cant afford paying out of pocket right now.

    Oh and in the past 6 months there probably hasn't been more than 4 days where I have stayed sober. And I don't mean in a row.

    Sorry for the whole allthatshitbyme.txt Just needed to get it out.
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Oct 8, 2002
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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Ah yes, the Satan Avatar, i remember that cartoon very well, bit messed up tho,

    The problem is that you are trying to fill in the black hole inside of your interior soul, with exterior things. This is the reason why nothing fullfills you and why you are constantly reaching out to the wrong medicines , its like having 50 shelves full of bottles with medicines but none of them work. And the reason they don't work is because there is no such thing as a pill against every problem, alcohol, anti-depressivia they are all symptom supressors but not problem solvers or in other words the real enemy here is you.

    Sometimes the best thing you can say to people who need help is to help themselves. You need to come to the realisation that no one can live your life for you there is no escape, no one can or will want to climb that staircase of life for you. Your life is your responsibility. You must learn to understand that the world is not only a confrontation and struggle from the outside, but a severe mental struggle as well.

    Don't blame your parents. Don't blame god. You are responsible for who you are. If you want to change who you are, do it. Blaming your genes or your invisible friend and continuing to live the lifestyle you hate will get you nowhere. Accept that you dug the hole you are in, now you've gotta pull yourself out of it if that is indeed what you want to do.Because there could be a time in your life that you only have yourself, and if no one supports you in this world, you better make sure that you support yourself. Do not expect leperchauns to appear and solve your issues, do not wait, be the dictator of your own life and take the situation in your own hands.If you are in a rut and stuck with your life, you need to give it a swing in a new and positive direction by carving a new path with your own power.

    There are only three directions in life, down where death lies, stay where you are and go in circles, or up where an improved life lies ahead, the first 2 are worthless and lead to nowhere, this is important because it means you can set the course of your life, to the only direction that is valuable ,namely upwards towards into progress. It doesn't matter from there on wether you win or lose in life, you simply keep on following the positive course, that way you can ALWAYS be confident no matter what happens, because you know that going for gold in your life is the only right way to live.

    If change was just a thought, then anyone could do it. But reality is that you can't just sit around feeling miserable for yourself and the situation you are in while being punched in the face by the reality of life. Those thoughts of change, can't become real if you just sit around feeling sorry for yourself, if you want to change then why would you stay in a state of paralyzation? If that happens it means you do not want to change, you are simply waiting for the world and people to change around you as you see fit, therefore
    Without walking, there's no way to move forward, you'll just end up waiting.
    Afterallit really doesn't matter how fucking smart you are if you aren't willing to work you ass off your still lose.Don't sit and wait, put yourself in the game called life. If you don't take the chance ,you'll put your life on a halt ,which is terrible.

    Remove the chaos in your life and replace it with mathematical order, Keep yourself busy in life only with things that give you a progressive structure( or in other words that make you go ahead in life instead of going in circles or downhill).You have to be like a garbageman that constantly throws out everything that brings you negativity in your life like trash.

    In other words, YOU NEED TO GET A LIFE OF YOUR OWN!!!

    Stop using your Girlfriend as a crutch, stop using your friends as a crutch, STAND ON YOUR OWN LEGS WITH YOUR OWN STRENGHT!

    What you must learn is that all forms of co-dependency are wrong. You should never go into a relationship with the idea 'everythings going to work out because im special', no its not. If you put trash in your house, then its going to be there forever until YOU YOURSELF CLEAN IT!, its called Responsibility, this is something vital and essensial for you to learn, because if you aren't going to take responsibility for your life, who will? No one, so you must take things in your own hands and do it!

    A woman doesn't want a guy who leans against her and cries like a baby for help,instead she wants a man who she can lean against , who she knows has a life of her own.

    Lots of guys go thru the same mistake, they put everything on stake for that one single woman ,who then leaves. They cry in the closet and become miserable and depressed, this because they don't realise that ' a woman can pack her bags and leave any day'

    For this reason

    You should never put your life into other people's hands, this because you will only become an emotional soccerball for other people to play with. Your case was even worse because you are dragging your gf and friends down into a black hole of despair with your co-dependency problems instead of taking your life in your own hands. Its your life , its your responsibility.

    Take IMMEDIATE action to put your de-railed life back on tracks, by your own strenght. Start hitting the gym, start reading books, do constructive things continuesly and never let it go from your hands, and if you lose it, grab it again by your own hands.

    And remember the real meaning of life is to love and help others, as well as taking good care of yourself. :wavey:

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