This may sound like a very silly question to some of you, it did to me orginally, but I have recently (February) gone through a situation where my SO had an "emotional affair" of sorts with a coworker. I was suspicious of the girl in question ages before I learned what was going on because she was always leaving flirtatious comments on his Facebook. I asked him then about her and he always said it was nothing, just a young girl putting herself out there. About a month later I come to find out they've been texting eachother some pretty inappropriate things...nothing sexual, just heavy, heavy flirting. I flipped the fuck out naturally and he assured me that it was just a little "crush" and that he loved me, yada, yada, yada. Ironically, he said the whole thing started because her boyfriend cheated on her and apparently he was her shoulder to cry on and ego booster in the aftermath. ( ) Then about a month after that he informs me that he is still talking to her and that he doesn't know what he wants anymore, that he needs time to think. I said no way, why should I do that myself? Wait around for him to choose between his girlfriend of 3 and a half years and some random bitch in heat at his work? So I packed up all of my shit one day, he comes home from work and starts bawling, apologizing profusely and saying that he made a huge mistake, he didn't know what he was thinking. I was a brick wall until about the 5th day of that and then I caved. Because I really do love him and want to believe that this was just a bump in the road...I know he didn't *do* anything with her, she's a hardcore Baptist and there simply wasn't ever an opportunity because him and I live together. But the fact that his emotional relationship, his "crush" on someone else, was almost enough to make him forget all about me, is the most hurtful experience I've ever gone through. I spent weeks and weeks going from murderously angry, to inconsolably heart broken, to righteously bitter and determined and sometimes I felt all of these things in a matter of minutes. Things are getting better now, he cut off all contact with her and she has since gotten another job (I guess all the fun went out of work when there were no more homes to wreck) and he continues to be very patient with how I still get upset at times. He's very contrite and reassuring. But I still have nightmares and I still have flashes of rage and sadness. Granted, I've never been physically cheated on, so I can't even pretend to know how that feels. But I've found that the majority of male cheaters don't do it because they like the other woman, they do it because they think they are hot and want to fuck them, period. A one time, meaningless romp with someone seems less hurtful than wanting to be with someone else. Any light you can shed on this or any experiences you can share would be appreciated. I'm not really looking for advice on the situation I went through, I've already made the decision to give him another chance (I guess we'll see if it's a huge mistake...) but so far, so good. I was just wondering if anyone else felt the same as I do about emotional cheating and if you don't, what it is about physically cheating that you find more unforgivable.