Discussion in 'OT Bar' started by pepsi, Apr 22, 2008.
i heard him say some shit yesterday on sirius radio about fighting in japan in 2 weeks
it's japan. anything is possible.
Haha...Jeff you thieving bastard.
Your shit is cracked.
You need a higher quality post
All my posts are of sub-par quality
well i thought it was HILARIOUS. Jeffery, where on earth did you get that from ?!
i wonder who wrote it
did you REALLY write this yourself? Do you have a webpage or something? That was awesome.
actually my friend Mark wrote this. He's got tons of stuff he's written like this about anything and everything. From fat people to whores.
He's on my myspace if you want.
JohnnyBravo is his name on there.
He has a ton on his blog space there.
Here is more of his work i have on my comp.
Here's the deal. I've gotten so many questions that relate to generally the same topic that there is no point in reposting them all or trying to post bits and pieces of them. They are all pretty damn close in subject matter. Therefore, rather than posit this as a question/answer, it will be closer to a monologue or, as some like to call it, a rant.
The topic at hand is what I like to refer to as "Lying on Your Resume".
Now hold on. I'm not talking about your actual curriculum vitae for a job. I'm talking about your dating resume. The information that you present to the individual who is considering hiring you as their significant other. You know what I'm talking about.
You find yourself interested in dating someone and you want desperately for them to like you back. It's much the same thing as applying for a job. When applying for a job opening, you generally know more about the employer than the employer knows about you, which is why you've sought them out and are trying to get hired. Dating is no different. There is usually something about the other person that you either know or assume that makes you want to go out with them. With a job, the resume is the employer's first opportunity to see what it is that you bring to the table. It's their chance to see if you have something to offer them in exchange for giving you a job. The finer points are worked out during the interview. Again, dating is not much different. In your initial meeting, you give your potential mate your resume. Your resume may consist of such things as your age, where you went to school, what you studied, where you work, where you live, if you have any siblings, if you have any kids, or if you have any friends in common. There may be discussion about music and sports preferences as well. At that point, the other person has enough preliminary information to decide whether or not to move forward with an additional interview. Just because you have applied for the job, doesn't guarantee anything. Keep in mind, even if you submit a resume the employer has several options. They can (a) not be hiring at that time (b) not be looking for someone like you, or (c) think you've got what it takes to move on to the next phase.
Here's where it gets sticky. What if the person lies to you on their resume? They want the job as your girlfriend/boyfriend so badly that they tell you what you want to hear, not what is actually true. They fabricate their qualifications. They try to make themselves look better than they really are. In other words, they lie to your fucking face about everything you think is important to keep you interested. In this author's not-so-humble opinion, that should be a fucking crime. It should be punishable by death. Here's why.
The whole point of a resume is to weed out unacceptable candidates before you waste any more time. The resume is a snapshot of what they have to offer. If you can tell right out of the box that they're not for you, why call them back? You take the handful of qualified applicants that appear at first blush to be who you're looking for, and then you start spending more and more time with them. You have an interview. Maybe you have a callback interview. That's the point in time where you believe that you have a few candidates who are all similarly situated in basic qualifications but you start to narrow them down based on little things that differentiate between them. Maybe it's their wardrobe. Maybe it's their vocabulary. Maybe it's their family. Maybe it's their accent. It's not really important what it is, but something will begin to stand out over time. However, no applicant should even get to that point if their initial qualifications were bullshit. That's a fraud.
I can't count the number of times that I have heard about or seen first hand, a fraud being perpetrated on an unsuspecting employer, I mean boyfriend. For example, you meet a girl who fits your standards physically. Then you need to find out some things about her. Does she like the same music? Does she like sports? Does she like cars? Does she want kids? Has she slept with your entire professional football team? You ask her these things, but she lies to you. She tells you everything she thinks you want to hear so that you'll remain interested. She bullshits you to get the callback interview. You think to yourself, "Self, this is a great gal. She's into sports, she's into cars, she digs the same kinds of music and she's low mileage." Armed only with the horseshit she's spoon fed to you, you hire her.
After she's on the job a few months, you start to suspect something isn't right. Every time you sit down to turn on the TV to watch football, she complains. She wants you to go shopping with her. She wants you to take her to lunch. She wants you to go to her parents' house. Whatever. Every time you get in the car and turn on your favorite radio station, she changes it. Every time you start talking about a new car part, she tells you that you spend too much money on that stupid thing. What the hell? You distinctly remember this girl telling you how much she LOVED watching sports on TV and how she'd rather just stay at home with her man and have a frozen pizza and watch football than go to some club or fancy restaurant. Now she's demanding lunches and shopping sprees and hides the remote when you're not looking. What gives?
But it gets better. Those friends of yours she said she liked? They're gone. She hates them and won't let you talk to them. The 5 guys she said she slept with? Yeah, that was just her junior year in highschool. The stuff about wanting to take care of her man? Taking care of you is apparently synonymous with "spending all of your money and not putting out anymore."
She lied on her resume. She sold you a bill of goods. Her plan was really to get the job, quickly work her way to upper management and then basically fire you. Picture if you will, the following scenario: You are filling out your job application and lie to the company about your grades in college and your experience in the field. The company hires you based on that application. You get the job and perform your duties reasonably well. The company has no complaints with your work. However, the company later finds out that you lied about your credentials. What do you think they do? Do they just shrug their shoulders and say, "Well, this person seems to be doing a decent job, so no harm, no foul"? Hell no. They more than likely fire you on the spot. Why should dating be any different?
A fraud is a fraud. I don't care if you lie to someone about your car not having a salvage title or you lie about your house not having a leaky roof. If you perpetrate a fraud upon someone and they rely on it to their detriment, they have a right to sue your ass off. I propose the same for dating. If a person lies to you about their past, their interests, or any of their qualifications to make a good mate, and you later find out that they lied to you, you should be able to terminate them immediately and seek damages. You should be able to recover compensation for your lost time, lost money, half of all meals, or any other expenses which you incurred during the course of the misrepresentation. Why? Because everything you did for them was under false pretenses. You were doing it for the person they told you they were, not the person they really are. It doesn't matter how good of a job you do once you get the job, if you only got the job by lying. That's horseshit, not to mention the fact that it shows a complete lack of integrity.
I am in the process of preparing a form contract which is similar in scope and effect to a pre-nuptial agreement, except that it is for dating couples. It will outline each party's qualifications to enter into the relationship, a disclosure of all pertinent information and a warranty that all representations are true and accurate. A breach of said contract will be grounds for dismissal and monetary and equitable remedies. A copy of the Dating Contract will be available in my book.
I could go on about this topic for pages, but in the interest of brevity, I will conclude my remarks. It's my belief and opinion that there should basically be a Lemon Law for significant others. Any girl who has actively and affirmatively misrepresented her past should be considered the functional equivalent of an "odometer rollback" and should be treated accordingly. Take her to the crusher, sell her on Ebay, trade her in to some other unsuspecting sucker or just drive the shit out of her, push her into a lake and then claim the insurance proceeds. The choice is yours.
Just remember girls, every time you lie on your dating resume, God kills a kitten.
This has been your public service announcement from high atop Bravo Headquarters. Stay tuned next week when Johnny the Trampire Slayer explains the difference between "Sportsmen" and "Fishermen".
I love your blogs. They're absolutely hilarious. But I've noticed that you never really take any surveys or post anything personal (other than the handful of things on your page). You're obviously a pretty smart and funny guy, but you don't really give your readers a chance to know the real you. Maybe you should fill out a survey from time to time or something.
You'll probably just make fun of me for saying it, but I think people really do want to know a little more about you.
Having given great consideration to your letter, I have found a survey which I think is suitable for posting. Perhaps this will shed some light on what makes JohnnyBravo tick.
1. Would you accept $1,000,000 to leave the U.S. and never come back again?
Hell no. A million bucks isn't really that much money and it certainly isn't worth giving up my right to taunt and torture the morons who still inhabit this great US of A. My freedom of speech (coupled with my freedom to point and mock) is virtually priceless. You'll have to do better than that.
2. Have you ever wished you were the opposite sex?
I have often thought about how nice it must be to be a single, childless, ultra-hot female.........who has a chance to date me.
3. What is the worst MENTAL torture you can imagine suffering?
Having to read anything written by Bill or Hillary Rodham Clinton. That, or having to watch House of Wax with Paris Hilton again.
4. Would you reduce your life expectancy 5 years to become much more attractive?
Does is get any more attractive than this? What ugly person came up with this stupid question? It's a no-brainer. After all, what's the point of living if you're ugly?
5. What is your nightmare?
A female President of the United States.............with PMS.............and her finger on The Button. Marriage is a close second, though.
6. If you could only keep one material item you own with you, what would it be?
My cashier's check for One Billion Dollars.
7. You discover your one-year-old child has been switched at birth - would you correct the error?
It's obviously an error. I don't have any kids. And any of you filthy, money grubbing whores who say otherwise are lying. You're not getting a dime out of me! You hear me? Not a dime!
8. Given the choice of anyone in the world to be your dinner guest for one night who would you invite as your friend? and your lover?
I'd love to sit down with Oprah for a meal. Knowing how much she eats, I'd have at least 10-12 hours at the table to ridicule her for causing the downfall of modern civilization. Plus, the longer I can keep her talking and eating, the greater her chances of choking to death in front of my very eyes. Of course, my lover Jessica Simpson would be sitting by my side looking extremely hot and not knowing whether Chicken of the Sea is really chicken or if its actually fish. Who needs a brain when you look that good, anyway?
9. Would you like to know exactly when you are going to die?
Hell yes. I need to know exactly how much more time I have to bring this world to its knees. So many dumb, size 0/2 blondes with fake boobs, so little time.
10. A millionaire will donate $1,000,000 to charity if you run down 3 blocks of busy New York side walks completely naked - there is no fear of punishment - would you do it?
Hell, who needs a $1,000,000 donation to do that? You already said no fear of punishment, right? The running part might be a challenge. I'd probably just opt for a leisurely stroll for 3 blocks, taking plenty of time to stop in and say hello to all the local deli owners and their patrons, the lovely men and women of law enforcement, the Democratic offices, and the local all-girls colleges.
11. If you could take a one month trip to anywhere with money not being an issue - where would you go?
The Playboy Mansion. You can send my mail to me at The Grotto. Sure, after a month I'll be dehydrated and have no seminal fluids left in my body, but that's what vacations are for, right? The rest of you suckers can try to get lucky on Spring Break in Padre. I'm going for the guaranteed win.
12. Would you prefer to be blind or deaf?
If I was deaf, I couldn't hear the crap that comes flying out of Fred Phelps' mouth. That would certainly be a plus. Oh, and I'd never have to listen to another Britney Spears song ever again. I think the choice is obvious.
13. Would you stay in a marriage that was awesome beyond your wildest dreams - but you and your partner never had sex - ever?
Who the fuck wrote this ridiculous question? I mean really. It had to be some broad. No man on the face of the planet could EVER use the words "marriage", "awesome" and "no sex" in the same sentence. What a fucking retarded idea. I'm not even going to dignify this one with a response.
14. What do you value most in a relationship?
Silence. And Swallowing.
15. If you could have unlimited service from an extremely good: cook, chauffeur, masseuse or personal secretary - which would you choose?
What a stupid fucking question this is. Again, it had to be written by some chick. Any red blooded American male knows that a good personal sexetary is capable of being your cook, your chauffeur AND your masseuse. A little "under the desk work" should be a requirement of any sexetarial position. Hell, why even break them down into categories. Arent all of those activities synonymous with "girlfriend"?
16. If you could merely imagine someone of your choice dying and they would die of natural causes in no way linked to you - would you use this power?
Oh shit. How many chances do I get?! I'd gladly take that $1,000,000 that was supposed to be donated to a charity from Question 10 and PAY for this awesome power. The world would be a much better place after a little Bravocide.
17. If a non-ugly woman/man offered you $10,000 to have sex with her in a airplane bathroom - with no fear of consequences - would you do it?
Does this question really put your mind to any kind of test? Honestly. Some good looking chick offers to service me in an airplane bathroom, there are absolutely no consequences (i.e. no husband showing up at my door with a shotgun, no surprise 9 months later and my Magic Stick doesn't turn colors and fall off), AND shes going to give me $10,000? Whats' the biggest font I can type "hell yes" in? That being said, I must require any moron who answers this question "no" to notify me in writing immediately. You are going to be the first person I use my powers from Question #16 on.
18. If you could choose the manner of your death, what would it be?
I have already pretty well established my manner of death in my answer to Question 11. Death by Dehydration and Mild Cardio Infarction. In other words, I'm going to bang hot blondes like screens door in a hurricane until my heart explodes.
19. If you were 90 years old and you could retain the body or mind of a thirty year old - which would you choose?
So I can either be an old, wrinkly bastard who is sharp as a tack or I can be a good looking, healthy 30 year old with a brain that doesn't work so well? Well, being a decent looking brainless guy has worked out pretty well for the likes of most rockstars and Tom Cruise. I pick that option. Besides, how many chicks do you know who are really that much smarter than a 90 year old guy with dementia? Who needs a brain when you have looks, right girls?
20. If you were invited to a party filled with fascinating people you have never met - but you had to go alone - would you go?
Absolutely. Why would I ruin a perfectly kickass party by bringing my friends with me?
21. If you knew your child was going to be severely retarded and not make it past the age of six - would you have an abortion?
Why didn't someone ask Anna Nicole Smiths mom this fucking question?
22. Would it disturb you much if upon your death - your body was simply thrown into the woods?
Bwahahahahaha. I defy you to find enough of my remains after my death to even be able to piece them together for said forest funeral. But seriously, why waste my relatives' or friends' money on a big, fancy burial? I'm dead, so I dont care. They're probably glad I'm dead so they can split up all my kickass stuff. And my estate could use the money to establish a college fund for all those strippers who are just trying to make enough money to go back to school. Why squander Trixie and Mercedes' education on a stupid coffin?
23. Would you rather take a month long trip with your parents or work at Burger King every weekday for 8 hours for 2 weeks?
As long as theyre not coming on my month long trip to the Playboy Mansion to totally cockblock me and break out the pictures of me butt ass naked on some cheesy fake bearskin rug, then this is the option for me. Fuck minimum wage and greasy fast food. I'd rather listen to an entire Barbara Streisand CD than work in a dump like that.
24. If you were to catch your mother with another man - what would you do?
Throw up. I can't stomach the thought of seeing either of my parents getting lucky. I'd probably have to gouge both of my eyes out with a Number 2 pencil, hack my skull open with a saw, take my brain out and soak it in bleach to get the image out of my head. Whoever came up with this question...........youre on my list of people to use my question 16 powers on, too.
Well, that's all for now kiddies. A little glimpse into the mind of yours truly. Remember to tip your bartenders and waitresses. And remember, the white line is for loading and unloading of passengers only. Enjoy your stay.
A must read!
Dear Fat Ass
I will apologize in advance for the length of time it has taken me to get a new blog posted. The press of other business has had me out of the city and out of the state quite a bit. Fortunately for you, my loyal subscribers, my travels have provided to me even more material worthy of transcription.
I would suggest that you bring your seat backs and tray tables to their fully upright and locked position. This is going to be a bumpy flight.
Whether it comes up during dinner, drunken conversation, or in messages sent to my myspace account, there is a new wave of recurring complaints that I am continuing to hear from women that I now feel compelled to discuss. Rather than bore you with the verbatim messages and lengthy conversations which seem to drone on for hours without end, I will sum up all of the bitching and moaning in this one simple question: "Why can't I find a decent guy?"
Don't be fooled. The question seems innocent enough. Some broad you barely know (or worse yet, one you know all too well) is swimming around, doing somersaults and handstands in her own self-pity and blurts out that question. "Why can't I find a decent guy?" Don't be an asshole and ask her what she means. For the love of God, don't do it. Why? Because she'll tell you, that's why. And you don't want to end up snorkeling in the cesspool of pathetic drivel that is about to come flying out of her pie hole. Furthermore, I can tell you in advance, your idea of "decent" and her idea of "decent" are NOT one in the same.
But let's assume you're stupid enough to ask this sourpuss crybaby what she's talking about. "What do you mean, you can't find a decent guy?" As she puts down her 5th gin and tonic, she begins to tell you. "All I want is one decent guy. One guy to treat me right." That doesn't sound too difficult. After all, you're a decent guy so this should be easy, right? Don't fucking count on it! "I want a guy who takes care of himself", she blurts out as she finishes that mountain of chocolate cake with enough fudge sauce pouring out of it that it looks like molten lava. Then, as she wipes the rest of the heavy cream sauce from her Fettuccine Alfredo off her face, she continues. "A guy who is successful and makes a decent income. A guy who is honest. A guy who is passionate and romantic. A guy that is articulate and has class, not like that fucking pig Jeff that I used to fuck. He was such a cocksucker." At this point you want to reach across the table and bash her in the face with a huge wooden paddle with the word "hypocrite" etched into it. But you don't. You let her continue. "I want a guy who will listen to me." At this point, you're already prepared to stab yourself in the eardrums with a sharp #2 pencil just to make it stop. But that would be rude. She needs a guy that will listen. So you listen. "I want a guy who is tough. Someone who is not afraid to work hard and make me feel safe. But I want him to be in touch with his feminine side and not afraid to cry or be sweet." Your head is now spinning around like Linda Blair from the Exorcist because that didn't make any fucking sense. It's pretty much one or the other, whore. But whatever. She goes on. "I want a guy who is loyal and won't cheat on me. A guy who appreciates me for me. A guy who will worship and adore me. A guy who knows how to treat a lady....*burp*" Apparently, that 5th gin and tonic isn't mixing well with the artery-hardening pasta and meteor-sized mound of lard and chocolate that she just consumed. "I want a guy who will compliment me, cuddle me, kiss me and love me. Someone who can comfort me when I feel down, give me a hug at the right time, and stand by me when things are rough." At this point, your head is ready to explode. Why? This is where it gets REALLY good.
The demanding, idealistic trollop that you're listening to whine about what she wants from a man is about 30 pounds overweight, hasn't darkened the door of a gym in years, has a job that earns her less than your nephew makes flipping burgers (assuming she works at all), has a couple of kids that aren't yours, is not funny, is not smart and is not really all that attractive. On a scale from 1 to 10, she's about a 6. However, she thinks she's a 10 because all of her friends are 4's. These chicks who are 30 pounds overweight think they are supermodels because all of their girlfriends are 50 pounds overweight. She thinks she's a great catch with only 2 kids from 2 different dads, because she knows women who have 3 kids from 3 different dads. I guess that in the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king.
So there you are, going through your mental checklist: Good looking? Check. Physically fit? Check. Good job? Check. Treat women well? Check. Honest and loyal? Check, check. Good listener? Well, you haven't slit her throat and thrown her off a nearby balcony yet. Check. But for all of your positive attributes, what do you get in return? Not a damned thing. What do these chicks bring to the table (besides a pretty healthy fucking appetite)? Nothing. Nada. Nill. Noonan. Negative. Zero. Zilch. It's un-fucking-believable. I can't even imagine seeing the 300 lb toothless guy with the mustard stained t-shirt that doesn't cover his whole belly, working at the local quick lube joint actually turning to one of his buddies and saying something like, "I really deserve to marry a girl like Jessica Simpson. Someone pretty and talented and rich." He'd get smacked upside the fucking head with a filter wrench. Who thinks like that? Apparently, the women of America, that's who!
I've never met so many women who had so little going for them, but demanded so much in return. What happened to "quid pro quo"? Tit for tat? Even trade? Reciprocal altruism? Where did those ideas go? Chicks with kids, chicks with no jobs, chicks with fat asses. No matter how worthless they are, they still want a knight in shining armor. Shit. I wouldn't give them a night in armor all.
Let me give you ladies a tip. Guys don't spend 50 hours per week working their asses off to make a living and then spend 5 nights a week in the gym to stay in shape, only to end up with a fat, jobless whiner with someone else's kids. No, ma'am. Have you ever once thought about being the kind of person you want in return? Did it ever cross your creampuff clouded mind that the guy you just finished describing would never want someone like you? Would Bradd Pitt ever consider dating Rosie O'Donell? Honestly? But that's what some of you are asking for. It's remarkable. You've got two choices. Either lower your standards and quit being such demanding bitches, or be the kind of person you want to be with. Have something to offer. Nobody is going to accept a Yugo as an even trade on a Ferrari. If you want to date a Ferrari, you need to be a Ferrari (or at least a good looking, witty Porsche).
So the next time you're preparing to open your big fat mouth to complain about the lack of "decent" guys, look in the mirror. Take a quick reality check. Can you provide to your partner everything you're asking him to provide? Are you the female equivalent of the guy you're looking for? If not, don't speak. Just shove another piece of ice cream soaked cake in your face and keep it to yourself.
This has been another public service announcement brought you by The Bravo Company. Please, don't go away mad. Just go away.
More Rules for Girls
Most of you have probably already read the first series of my blogs, including "10 Rules for Girls", "Dear Gold Digger" and "19 Ways to Doom Your Relationship", amongst others. However, based upon some emails I have received, it appears that some of you women out there still just don't get it. I'm not sure if it's the fact that you have two X chromosomes or that you're too busy spending 24 hours/day thinking about new ways to piss off men, but the logic that I have tried to impart to you is not sinking in.
Therefore, at the request of some of my male subscribers, I offer the following additional rules for girls.
1. Say what you mean. I know this sounds simple enough, but for some reason most of you women out there have a hard time fathoming the idea that we listen to what you say and take it at face value. For example, if a guy asks you, "What's wrong?", and you respond, "Nothing", then don't be surprised when he shrugs his shoulders and walks off and never thinks about it again. There is a term frequently used in the legal profession called "waiver". Essentially, what it means is that by your conduct you forfeit your rights to bring a claim at a later date. If you tell your boyfriend that "nothing" is wrong, you have forever waived and forfeited your right to get pissed at him later for not fixing whatever was truly bothering you when he asked. It's a pretty simple concept really. If something is on your mind, fucking spit it out! This is not Jeopardy for Christ's sake. "Yes. I'll take What's Running Through Sarah's Head for $500 please, Alex." "Very well, Jeff. The answer is......you forgot to do this today." "I've got it! What is, Remember to Pick Up the Dry Cleaning?" DING DING DING! How stupid is that?! Wouldn't it just be easier to say what's on your mind and save us all the headache of playing mind reader? It's like everything has to be a game with you. As if we have nothing better to do all day but try to guess why you're pissed off. If we could really read minds, we'd already know that you were banging your boss all last week, not staying late at work. Be glad we can't. But speak now or forever hold your peace.
2. If you stick a guy on the "friend" ladder, you have lost your right to bitch about who he is currently screwing. Let me make this clear, if you're not fucking him, he can fuck whomever he chooses. You do not get to bang the loser you're currently with, while crying on your "friend's" shoulder about what a dick he is, and then get to tell the friend that he can't do the same. Chances are, your "friend" thinks you should be with him. After all, you trust him enough to go to him with all of your big decisions. You respect his opinion. You enjoy hanging out with him. You ask him for advice on what to do when your current asshat calls you names and cheats on you with your best friend. But you just don't look at your "friend" like that. He has to sit there and listen to you complain about how there are no good guys in the world. Do you know what a slap in the face that is to the good guy who's listening? You'd be bloody furious if your guy friend told you that there are no good looking chicks in this town. You want him to find you attractive even if you don't want to be with him. And he has to listen to you drone on and on about how poorly you're treated when you know damn good and well he would treat you like solid gold. But that's not what you want. What you want is to date the "bad boy" but be able to go to the "nice guy" to talk to about it. But here's the catch....you get pissed if you find out that your "friend" finds some other girl attractive or starts spending more time with some chick other than you. What the fuck is that all about? You don't want the guy, but you still want him to want you. You're sick in the head. You understand that, don't you? That's not normal. "I don't love you, but you'd better always love me." Pure craziness. Let the guy go. I have been all over the world, and contrary to what you girls might believe, you do not have the gravitational force of the sun. What that means is, THE WORLD DOES NOT FUCKING REVOLVE AROUND YOU . If you don't want the guy as anything but a friend, then he is free to be more than friends with any other girl. If you don't want him being more than friends with any other girl, then you should be prepared to be that girl. Period.
3. Women are not sportsmen. I hate to even bury something that deserves it's own blog in the middle of this one, but people need to understand that there is a difference between "fishermen" and "sportsmen". A fisherman keeps what he catches. He pursues it, he baits it, he works it for hours and when he catches it, he's proud of it and runs home with it. A sportman is the opposite. He is someone who enjoys the catching more than the keeping. He is content to "catch and release" everything on the stream. It's not about hanging on to what you have, it's about being able to say you caught it and then moving on to the next one. Women are not supposed to be fishers of men. In other words, when you sense that your guy "friend" is starting to take interest in some other girl, it's shitty to fake an interest in him to get him to fall for you again just to see if you can. If you know you don't want him even if you catch him, then don't bait him. Someone else might scoop him up and take him home and consider him a prize catch. Too many of you broads do this to guys. You go out of your way to get a guy's attention and then once you have it, you cut him loose and ignore him. Then, just about the time when he's getting over you.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, you throw out the line and try to hook him again. That's horseshit, right there. Cut that shit out. Next time you're sitting there bitching about how there are no good guys out there, remember this........it's because of girls like you.
This is not an all-inclusive list. I've listed several others in my various other blogs. Maybe some of you need to go back and read my blogs from the very beginning. Maybe you just need a pre-frontal lobotomy. All I can tell you is this, some of you fuckers need a lot of work.
But I'm here to help, guys. I'm like the silver stake in a trampire's heart. I'm the kryptonite to the SuperWhores of the world. I'm the garlic to the were-bitches. I will lead the revolt against the Evil Empire of Estrogen. You will not win, oh ye of perceived vaginal prowess. I can see through you like the single sheet of urine soaked toilet paper floating in the toilet at a major league baseball stadium. And the word is getting out. Men are learning. And I will be there to make sure that they do. Your days are numbered, you treacherous wenches. Repent!
And with that..........I'm off like a prom dress.
i read them all-its all hilarious.
sooooooo true what he says about western girls as a general statement