So? You want to get to know me. Here's a taste..... I'm a mother, but little kids annoy me after about 30 minutes I'm a daughter who loves her parents, but I'm glad I don't live near them. I'm tattooed white trash, but not really. I'm easy to get along with, just don't annoy me. I'm funny, but I'm the most serious person you'll ever meet. I'm a people watcher, but I like being the center of attention. I'm irreverent, but everyone has my respect for being themselves. I'm your best friend, I'm your worst enemy. I'm a shoulder to cry on, but I hate your drama. I'm the one your mother warned you about, but your dad likes me. I think Brittany Spears is Lousiana trash, and bless her for it. Hard Rock is still my favorite music, but Dolly Parton has an amazing voice. I think war is a ridiculous way to solve an issue, but don't dare cut military spending. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but few will ever realize it. I'm aloof, but I'm an open book. I'm your wildest dream, but I'm your worst nightmare. I'm a Leo, but that doesn't really matter. I love porn, but its no substitute for the real thing. I'll push your buttons, but I loathe a bully. I love to laugh til I snort, but a good cry makes me feel better sometimes. I have no respect for authority, but I mind my manners. I love to cook, but I hate to do dishes. I can't stand drama, most people bring it on themselves. Mind games are bullshit, but a good mind fuck is brilliant. I shoot from the hip, but not at your back. I'm a know-it-all, I want to learn more. Who am I? I am me. I like me. I am not everyone's cup of tea. But for those who take the time to figure out the enigma wrapped in a riddle shrouded in a rutabaga, I'll never let you down. Now tell me who you are.