Everyone I've meet in the last 2-3 years I have not made any plans to see them again for any reason. I can easily talk to someone and have a good, funny, conversation. But as soon as I sense that the person is growing any attachment to me, I automatically without even thinking, just quiet down the conversation and walk away as soon as possible, and from that point on all I will say to the person is "hi, bye". I always noticed that the person always tends to stare at me like they are pissed at me for something, like "why don't you want to be friends?" "why don't you open up?" Eventually they just give me the cold shoulder everytime they see me. I've thought about this and realized that I hate the fact that the things that I do or say impacts the lives of others. It is like there are consequences for every damn little thing I do, and I don't want to get involved with other peoples lives because I have hurt people badly in the past and I don't want to do it to anyone else ever again. My childhood friends have mostly grown up and stopped talking to me and they have become drug users. I feel like I am responsible, but how can I be? I was mean to them at times, but I doubt I drove them to this. I also have a very weak relationship with both my parents, especially my mother. (I'm a guy if that matters). I've never had a girlfriend because of my current behavior. So could all this stuff be tied together somehow to explain my current behavior? What will happen to me as life goes on?