Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Sybian, Feb 21, 2007.
I'm sitting here clinging to life and she's perfectly fine. I don't get it.
Um...have you ever broken up with someone who you weren't really interested in?
It's all about how much you have invested...if you like the person a lot, of course it's gonna suck and hurt like no other. Obviously she wasn't as into you as you were in to her. This is why it is easier for her, and harder for you.
Exactly. And I'm sorry that you're taking it so hard....but I have to say the quintessential don't just think you, or other guys, are the only ones who take break-ups hard; women take them hard too. Just depends on who was the dumpee and how much affection was invested in the relationship
Actually there was plenty love on both sides. We just can't be together because of our situation. (She's off to grad school or back to Colorado). Its not about her not being interested.
Well then why would you say she's taking this "perfectly fine." Not all girls show and spill their emotions out, especially if it's a situation where she's possibly doing something to better her life. LDR is out of the question??
Not for 3+ years. No.
I understand, I was just trying to get more background info. It's at those times in some relationships where they are make or break. If there is no compromise (someone moving somewhere after a certain amount of time) then it obviously won't succeed....unless you want it too
I do. Personally I think she just wants to be off the leash and free out there and probably doesn't care.
Hmm, well you say it like you just think she feels that way. And I know you've probably talked about it already a lot (still looking for more backstory), but have you really talked about your feelings and gotten hers?
I keep thinking of the tin man for some odd reason
I agree with you for the most part, just not in every situation. There will always be ones like this where a big choice has to be made. Obviously she wants to better her life and she feels going away to grad school will do that. I really doubt after 3 yeasr she's non-chalantly tossing him aside in a "good riddance" kind of way....You never know, maybe she wants him to make some sort of big commitment with her.
Well I would characterize that as "lack of interest."
I think you misunderstood. We've been together 1-1/2 years. She'll be gone for 3+.
Anyway, its over and the post was more of a venting rant than a thread that I really needed help with... The suicide thread is over in The Asylum.
(Its not just about her by the way.)
going through the exact same thing man.. it will get better
Yes sorry. I read it previously and understood, then somehow slipped it in my later comment. But I figured you'd been together at least a while
Would you feel better if she was agonizing over the breakup?
She has low interest in you, and she is choosing to move on.
Highly interested women don't choose to move away.
You can continue to live in the past, or you can look ahead to the future. Your choice.
Yeah, they do. Sometimes....girls like to better their life. Not every woman chooses what she should do in life based on where her man is and what he thinks you know.
Because they only think about themselves.
So why not move to colo to join her??
IMO if you've been together for 1.5 years, it might be worth the effort/sacrifice to support her dreams for a bit. It's not forever and you can come back to your home state when time/money permits.
Really tho, if I were in your shoes, I'd be willing to explore the reality of these ideas before accepting that a break up is the only way. Perhaps you already have and this is the result of that exploration.
Sorry to hear either way....hang in there man. Things will get better.
I think he was (I really cant beleive I'm defending him, but here I go) making a generalization. Generalization's are ok, because we all know that they're just general statements made, and dont, by definition, encompass every possible scenario. So it probably shoould go something like this "Most often, highly interested women dont normally choose to move away".
I mean, I have to say I'm an exception - I started dating my bf 2 days before I got into grad school. Since I made the decision about going to grad school even before I got involved with my bf, there was no question of whether I would go or not. That said, I'm not really that far away from him (about 4hrs driving) and we're cool with doing the LDR thing on a limited basis (I'll be moving back home in about a year, so we'll have been LD for about a year and 1/2)
I understand that my situation is different than that of the OP, I dont know how far he is from where she's going to school, or the details of their relationship, but if she's not willing to have you move with her or do the LDR thing, maybe Yail's right about her interest level.....
god forbid the girl get a good education before she settles down
Why even start dating in town in the first place if you are just going to move across the US to begin with....
For me (obviously I cant speak for the OP's ex, and they were together for a while before she probably even applied for grad school, where my bf and I wherent) it was a few things.
First, I had no idea where/if I was going to get in, so there was the possibility of me staying right where I was. Second, why kill a good thing/the possiblity of a good thing because of a few hundred miles and when I'm not going to be gone forever? Third, I wanted to get my masters, I wanted to go to grad school. Period. It'll help me get a much better job than the prospects I had before and I'd rather go away for a year and 1/2 and come back to my bf with more stable career options than I had before.
Why put my education before my bf, or vice visa when there's no need to?
actions > words
It can get in the way the the grad school she desires to go to is in another state. Sorry to be so blunt, but if she truly cared about you man and wanted to see what you had together last she would have found a way to go to grad school in state, so if anything else, the LDR was manageable (a few hours away, rather than states away).
Sybian,like Yail said, she has moved on and so should you. Continuing to live in the past will only hinder your love life even more and not afford you the opportunity to move on and truly be happy.