Ok, this is one of those medium/long story things, so I guess I'll just go ahead and get the back-story out of the way... About a year and a half ago, I met this girl; we'll call her A (because that's the letter her first name starts with, and because I'm unoriginal). Anyways, I happened to meet A through a good friend of mine, whom we shall henceforth refer to as B. For clarity's sake, B is a guy. Basically, A and I meet, and, over the course of six hours during one day, we hit it off. I'm pretty sure this was the first time I've managed to get a girl's number that fast, and what's more, she actually volunteered it, I didn't even have to ask! Anyways, at this point, A and I start seeing more of each other, hanging out, going for coffee, flirting, and generally doing whatever kids in their late(r) teens do (I'm currently 19, and she's 18. I think she's about 6 months younger than I am). I start to take more and more of an interest in A, and, from what I can tell (although my proficiency at reading the signs that girls send is dubious, at best), the feeling is mutual. I finally (about a month after first meeting her) get the nerve to ask her out* when...yes, that's right, I leave the country**. For, IIRC, about a month. This is the part where everything, more or less, starts going to shit. I'm not going to lie, I didn't expect her to wait for me, because that's completely unreasonable, but I at least figured that I might have a shot with her when I got back. I was in for a surprise, and not the stripper-in-a-birthday-cake kind of surprise. When I returned from my trip, I discovered that A and B were now dating (SUR-FUCKING-PRISE!). I wasn't really pissed off, or anything (although B did know that I was interested in A, but I reasoned that I'd blown my chance, and thus wasn't at all upset with him), I was just...I guess 'disappointed' is the word that I'm looking for. I really liked this girl, and I figured that I actually had a shot with her, and now, the worst part (for me, anyways), was that the two of them made a good couple, meaning that it wasn't going to be a one-month relationship. Also, the fact that she was dating someone who I considered, and still consider, to be a close friend of mine (in fact we're closer now than before) made the situation even less favorable for me, because, even if they did break up, I figured that I couldn't possibly date her without alienating him, and I didn't want that. So, I dealt with it. All the while, I was happy for them, because I (and everyone else) thought, and knew, that they made a great couple, but I also felt a little guilty because, at least for a little while after I found out, I kept thinking that it should have been me. I felt terrible, because I thought that I was being an absolute douche-canoe. Anyways, I got over it, and spent time with both of them, both together and apart. I went to parties with them and their friends, and was generally a good sport. Also, as time passed, my friendships with both A and B grew and developed. Basically, everybody was happy. Except me. I was just happy "for them", but I guess that counts. Fast forward to about a month and a half ago. I get back in town, after being away for three months, and, since I keep in touch with my friends while I'm on the road, I've already got plans with both of them (I also work with B, a little bit, or at least I did, details to follow). I hang out with both of them a few times, again, both together and seperately, and everything is good, but...there's some tension. B is going away to university, albeit in another province, and A will be staying home for Uni, at least for the first year. Tension builds, they "break up" (but not really, or sort of, nobody really knows, even now). And here's the fun part: after I learned that they'd kinda split up, for some reason, I started having feeling for this girl again. The fact that she always wants to spend time with me, and during my time at home this summer I saw her at least once a week, sometimes more, didn't help matters. She's always been very flirty, which, again, didn't help things for me. I felt like a horrible, terrible person for even thinking about trying to go after my good friend's freshly minted "ex", and even though all of my friends told me that I wasn't pure evil, I still felt like shit. I wanted her, probably worse than ever before, and perhaps simply because I knew I couldn't have her. Oh, I guess I forgot to mention that she pretty much checks every box on my list. She's not perfect, nobody is, but she's pretty damn amazing (before you ask, pics will not load). Fast forward yet again, to last week. I was about to leave the country again, this time for a month (this is the trip I'm currently on). We're hanging out one last time before I leave, because I promised her we would. The subject somehow shifts to her relationship with B. It turns out that they'd decided that they could see other people, but she didn't really want to (although I know he will. He's not a bad guy by any means, ,he just...will). She then proceeds to tell me about all of these guys that she could be dating at this point, these guys that her friends love and blah, blah, blah (I started to tune out at this point, I'll explain why in a second. For the record, A and B's friends apparently loved me, as well, but I guess that's beyond the point). Anyways, as this is going on, I'm sitting there, looking her in the eye, and thinking "What the fuck is wrong with me? I know it's never going to happen with her, and yet I'm still attracted to her beyond all reason, like some fucking idiot. I'm sitting here, being friendzoned, for, arguably, the second time by the same girl." Don't get me wrong, I really value her as a friend, but, for some reason, I just can't accept, or I guess 'be happy with' the situation I'm in. So here's the question? Am I an idiot, or what? And, more pressingly, how do I, once and for all, just get over this girl and accept the fact that, barring some sort of earth-shattering development, we'll be nothing more than good friends? EDIT: Wow, that was way fucking longer than I expected it to be. I won't be offended if nobody wants to read all that shit, haha SUPER EDIT: I totally forgot about * and ** * I sort of have issues with asking girls out. I'm shy, and simply gathering up the nerve to do so can take an excruciating amount of time, like in this example! ** I leave the country quite often, sometimes for a week or two, sometimes for a few months at a time. Naturally, this has all but executed my love life.