Emily and I are entering a more practical, less theoretical phase of seeing other people. (Backstory: my lover, Emily, and I do not have a closed relationship.) At about the same time, two things happened. A friend came into my life, and I've been getting back into pick-up with him - that is, learning the art of seducing women. Meanwhile, Emily has gone down on a guy we got to know personally at a party somewhere. It's going to be a very interesting experience. To help get our bearings, Emily and I have begun taking notes from a book called The Ethical Slut. I cannot strongly enough recommend this book. Even if you are a normal monogamous mainstream sort of homo sapiens sapiens, it's worth reading because it is coming from people with unique experience. In the same breath, I cannot strongly enough condemn the first edition. If you buy this book, get the SECOND edition, NOT the first. Some decade+ elapsed between the two editions, and to put it bluntly, the authors only learned how to write some time during that decade. I wanted to share with you guys some of the situation since it's all fascinating and new and scary and yet wonderful and empowering. Yes, I'm a male and I used the word, "empowering." Suck it. But first... <<<rant begin>>> One tragic phenomenon in my life is that the people closest to me are not only unhelpful in my aspirations with Emily but actually a bit of a hindrance, sometimes going as far as using vitriolic language in their attempts to persuade me that a closed relationship is the one and only reasonable choice. I could ignore it but I feel like unspoken words are the death of many a friendship. So I have carefully drawn a couple of my close peeps through the logical steps that go into Emily's and my decision, attempting to explain why it made sense for the two of us. Eventually (after they began to get it), it became clear that they were projecting their own insecurities about their partners fucking other people onto our situation. One friend, in particular, let's call her Jane, attempted to prove to me the error of my ways by eliciting jealousy in me. Isn't that fucked up?? Jane kept talking about Emily having someone else's cock in her mouth in a blatant attempt to make me insecure. As if making me insecure would prove something about the virtues of monogamy........ I explained with the patience of a monk, if I do say so myself, all the reasons that went into our choice of lifestyle, over and over again. Eventually she got it... and then promptly started talking about her own relationship insecurities. Go. Figure. <<</rant>>> Ahem. I don't know any lovers who are not in closed relationships. I'm thinking of attending a get-to-know-polyamorous-people event here in the city with Emily to ameliorate that situation. I would be interested in talking to anyone here as well, though, if you want to share. Maybe I will post some more thoughts here later. Thanks for listening.