This is a long one so please bear with me. 2 years ago, I met someone very special to me but at that time she was married but it was ending soon. We started a relationship and within months she became pregnant. The husband dragged the divorce on for a year and a half just to make our lives hell and he thought it surely would run me off. It didnt and nothing could make me leave her. I was deeply in love and knew I was to be having a child with this woman. However as time went on I began to wonder if she had been honest with me and if this child really was mine. 9 months go by and we have a healthy baby boy. Something did not feel right so I had a paternity test done and sadly, he was not mine, but the husbands. After weeks of fighting myself I chose to stay with her and raise him as my own. Fast forward through all of 2006 and we have the husband harrassing me and my g/f through text messages (he wanted us apart but never wanted anything to do with the child) and she repeatedly expressed her hatred for him and she was glad to wipe the slate clean after a rough 10 years with him. We move in together early 2006 and are seemingly having a great year together. Out of the blue, she moved out of our home in November while I was at work but only moved 5 blocks away. She claims our one bedroom was too small and she needed her space. She did not work so she ran to her ex to pay the rent. Odd, very very odd. I am invited over and again I begin to pick up the pieces with her. I spend christmas day with her and she gave me a key to her place and said she hoped I'd be moving in soon. 2 days later she tells me our son's biological father will be at our son's bday party and Im not to be there. Keep in mind everything was looking up for us again. His bday comes and goes and I hear nothing and I do not get to see him. I then find out over that weekend she moved her ex husband in. I then head into a downward spiral of anxiety attacks, rage, and I am out of control. She gives me no answers and is downright hateful towards me. One week ago everything was great! Tonight I flipped and had to have answers and went over and she greeted me in the yard being cold as ice to me. It became a war of words and out of nowhere I slapped her and did it hard. I immediately felt the worst I had in my life. This was not me and I felt like I had lost my mind. I hit her, the woman I am in love with. In one week she went from wanting to marry me to hating me and not giving me answers. I cannot handle not knowing what changed her mind so fast. I worry that she was always in love with the ex but what was I for this wonderful year? I am so confused and so devastated at the loss that I never thought would be. I've lost what I consider to be my son and someone who I felt was a soulmate. I saw a doctor today and he put me on an anti-depressant and has recommended counseling. Too little too late for me I think. I've gone over the deep end.