Yes, I recognize there have been a few threads lately regarding this topic, but I feel like my situation is a little different, or at the very least I didn't want to 'thread-jack' someone else's show. I'll use ex and current gf out of convenience, it is not meant to be condescending to either one, just easier to follow in some regards than actual names. Anyway...So about 3 months ago I broke up with my GF of roughly 16mos. It was getting to the point where it felt like everything she was doing was selfish, unappreciative, and generally bad. I started going out with a girl who had taken my previous job, and we've been together for the past 3 months. During the break-up with the ex she pleaded with me not to leave, promised she'd change, and apologized for a lot of things, at the same time she also said some pretty hurtful things as well. Now for a little background, the ex is two years older than me (she's 25), and she was working basically full time while I was finishing up school. The new girl is 2 years younger (21) and now she's in school while I'm working full time. One of the things I'm finding is that a lot of the things my Ex did for me I took for granted as I was in school and I recognize that now since the roles are reversed. I have found that over the last 3 mos I have constantly thought about my Ex, and she was my first serious long-term relationship, and I don't know if this is just natural for me to be thinking about her so much, or if there is something more too it...when I say think about her, I have to constantly catch myself from calling my current gf the same pet names etc. To complicate things more, my ex moved back to MI since she didn't think there was anything left for her out here, and she could live at home and save money there (she had some financial issues). Also, with the current gf I have found out that when I first met her she was great, but I am currently finding that she is basically manic/depressive (in a very serious sense), with a past history of anorexia. I have gone to her place on more than one occasion in the middle of the night because she has told me in tears that she doesn't think she should be alone etc. I don't mean to sound selfish with it, but it is a lot for me to deal with right now, and some of the times I have gone up there I have been really sick on top of it (with her knowing that). She seems to 'appreciate' me more, and I make note of that, because not to brag, but I tend to treat the woman I am with very well, and while I may not be in the best shape, I know that I am well educated and quickly making something of myself in life. I do recognize that I was basically an asshole with my Ex in the way that I broke things off with her, and that I think I am finding that the grass is not necessarily greener. I do want to seem like a bastard with the current gf's depression, but she has even said to the affect of "I don't think you should have to deal with this either", and the one that really got me, "I bet you're really regretting choosing me over your ex, I know I would". Which of course hints at self-esteem issues too. I know that I probably should have taken a complete break from women in between, and I don't want this to sound to negative about either one since they both have great qualities. I tend to be very analytical, so the whole "do what your heart tells you" is pretty hard for me...I would love some guidance from people about how to determine if the reoccuring feelings I'm having for my Ex are valid, or just lingering feelings from a long relationship. The other issue I am concerned about, is with my Ex, I feel like I want to be with her, but I don't feel like I am ready for marriage at this stage yet (I am not financially secure enough etc), and I feel that trying to convince her to come back is going to have that obvious implication, that there better be something substantial here for her. I know this was a long post, and I thank anyone that got through it all. Feel free to ask questions as I don't want to misrepresent anyone with this. Thanks!