GUN You might have a Gun addiction...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by zac44, Mar 13, 2008.

  1. zac44

    zac44 New Member

    Feb 8, 2008
    Likes Received:
    So on another forum
    may be a repost but was new to me

    -If You've ever dabbed a little Hoppe's on your neck before going on a date...

    -If you bought checkering tools, checkered all your gunstocks and are now starting on the bedposts...

    -If you cannot really recall just how many guns you own...

    -Surplus ammunition suppliers call you to see if there was anything you were looking for...

    -If you bought a gun from a gunshop, only to realize you used to own it years ago...

    -If you've ever shot out a 1911 barrel.........

    -If you save brass and have a case tumbler, but don't reload...

    -If you ever stripped the paint off of your car and then blued it

    -If you've ever bought ammo for a caliber you didn't shoot, thinking that someday you might own a gun in that caliber...

    -If your computer passwords are gun related...

    -If your five-year-old can detail strip and fully reassemble an M-1 Garand............

    -If you take your guns out of the safe and handle them, just so you can wipe them down before going to bed...

    -If your local gunsmith calls you for obsolete parts...

    -If you home-school and use ballistic tables for math lessons...

    -If your gun safe is bigger than your refrigerator...

    -If the speedometer on your car is in both m.p.h. and fps...

    -If you call Brownells and they recognize your voice...

    -If you own reloading dies for calibers that you do not shoot...

    -If you understand Smith and Wesson's model numbers...

    -If you ever bought two different brands of the same bullet just to see which one "shot better"... don't we all do that?

    -If you've ever had to explain "that it's not the same gun it's a variant!"...

    -If watching the Lion King gives you the itch for a .470 Nitro...

    -If you cut out your best groups and carry them in your wallet like photos... don't we all do that?

    -If you've ever gone to a gun show three times in one month, and were excited every time...

    -If you feel that a golf course is a willful and deliberate misuse of a perfectly good rifle range...

    -If you ever accidentally seasoned a steak with FFFFg black powder...

    -If your brass tumbler used to be a small cement mixers.

    -If you identify the gun on the cover of Dillon's Blue Press before you notice the girl...

    -If you make $30/hr at work and spent 35 min- on your knees at the range looking for that last piece of .40 brass... I got yelled at for doing this when she was ready to go home

    -If you have guns in your safes that you can't for the life of you remember how you came by...

    -If the FBI asks you to identify firearms they can't...

    -If ammo manufacturers had to layoff workers when you went to Europe for a month's vacation...

    -If you know the range of every tree in the neighborhood...

    -if you can tell the caliber of any spent casing just by feel...

    -If you plead with the gun shop to hold a rifle/shotgun until you have space for it...

    -If you can't figure out why your non-shooting friends laugh when you say "Bushmaster"...

    -If you didn't get that last one because you don't have any "non-shooting" friends...

    -If your driver's license says "must wear night vision goggles."

    -If your shoulder is callused... or in your case it has a steel plate and screws... lol

    -If manufactures ask you how their rifles hold up.

    -If you get misty eyed every time you sell a gun..

    -If you alternate Silvertips, Hydra-Shoks and Black Talons in your magazines because they look prettier that way.......... don't we all do that?

    -If you guess windage and range every time you look at a road sign...

    -If you went out to the range this weekend to shoot up ammo, just so you'd have some brass to reload...

    -RCBS answers your phone calls, "What have YOU dreamed up this time?"..............

    -if you can name the parts of your post-ban rifle you had to (or want to) swap out to make a legal semi auto AW

    -if someone asks about the president and you think they're talking about Charlton Heston

    -if you know the model numbers of your Glocks, how many and what size mags you have, and which are loaded, but have no idea when your anniversary is.

    -if you've ever had to explain why you need armor piercing rounds to someone

    -if you don't know that there is a difference between "the Internet" and "Glock Talk"

    -if you have ever run out of gas in your car, but have never run out of ammo before..... I walked the rest of the way to the range and left my truck there

    -if you know the serial numbers of your guns, but still get your kids' names mixed up.

    -if you hold a firearms related record in Guiness book of world records.

    -if you go to gun shows with a grocery buggy (painted camo of course)

    -if you had to explain to someone what a "SHTF scenario" is

    -if the National Guard calls you when things get a little too hot

    -if you had a gun rack on your bike when you were a kid ..... guilty

    -if you know why 30-06 is pronounced "thirty alt six" ..... no it's pronounced thirty ott six...... must have been a yankee that wrote that

    -if you buy all of your clothes at Wal-mart but own some of the most expensive holsters known to man ....... so $100 is too much for a holster?

    -if your name is on California's AW ban

    -if you walk up on a conversation about horses and as soon as you hear "colt", you are immediately interested.

    -if your favorite saint is John Moses Browning.

    -if your favorite paint color is "gun metal grey".

    -if you break off on a dissertation on how badly congress screwed Bill Ruger.

    -if you anticipate another shooting session AS you are putting your guns away at the range.

    -if you look at Shotgun News the way teenagers look at playboy

    -if every street sign within 5 miles of your house looks like it came from Chechnya

    -if you went to college, but owned more gun manuals than text books .... guilty again

    -if the national guard armory has your phone number on "call block" because you keep making bids on their WWII artillery piece sitting out front

    -if you carry a backup gun in case the backup for your backup fails.

    -if you carry concealed at the beach ...... this is beginning to look bad huh?

    -if third world arms dealers consider you to be the largest gun runner in the world (but you keep all the stuff for yourself)

    -if you were arrested/questioned about the sniper shootings

    -if you've filled out more "yellow forms" than income tax forms

    -if you have your own VIP parking spot at gun shows.

    -if you hear someone say "it's about 9:45" and you think to yourself "good grief, the 9mm/.45 debate will never end!"

    -if you sit through a violent movie and aren't bothered by gory violence, but flinch when someone drops a firearm (might scratch it)

    -if the above has ever brought tears to your eyes

    -if you have been banned from a movie theater because you always stand up in the middle of the movie and tell everyone you can't fire 30 rounds from a revolver without reloading......... they still wont let me back in

    -if you ever took apart your Nintendo zapper and installed custom trigger, laser sight, scope, etc. for Duck Hunt

    -if you have more firearms than friends

    -if you have insurance covering your guns, but not you

    -if Hillary Clinton makes your skin crawl.

    -if you slide your paddle holster on to check your mail.

    -if you slide your paddle holster on to take out the garbage.

    -if you find yourself rapidly disassembling/re-assembling your the dark.....on the toilet. they forgot about cleaning it

    -if you drive to work with a $1500 Kimber in a $500 pick-up. my truck sin't worth that much

    -if you've spent more than twenty minutes writing "you might be a gun nut if's. guess I really am guilty

    -if your guns are named names usually reserved for people

    -if you designed your own caliber and built a firearm to fire it ..... working on it

    -if you grew up with loaded guns all around you, but it never crossed your mind to shoot up your school.

    -if you've read the Constitution

    -if you know the second amendment by heart ..... just the important parts

    -if you know the second amendment translated into more than 3 languages ........ no they can learn it in English

    -if you used to have a hill as a backstop, but now it has become a 30 foot high mound of pure lead.

    -if you make your own reloading tools

    -if you make your own powder

    -if you don't label your reloading powder, because you can hear the difference when shaking the can

    -if you have ever read an article in the crime section of the newspaper and read "the suspect had over 200 rounds of ammunition", then assumed it was a misprint. Who in his right mind would get down to only 200 rounds???

    -if your CCW is a shotgun

    -if your CCW is a .50

    -if your CCW is a LAW

    - if you find yourself doing trigger and muzzle control on the bottle of your wife's glass cleaner

    - if your girlfriend/wife is jealous of the time you spend with your guns

    - if your wishlist on midwayusa totals up to the price of a new car

    - if that new car would be a Bentley

    - if your already thinking about your next gun while your filling out the paperwork on the one you're buying.

    - if the guys at the local gun shop send you a Christmas card

    - if you own a guns you haven't shot yet

    - if you have a room in your house dedicated to guns ... does archery stuff count too?

    - if when someone says "but what if you don't have a gun with you?" and after 15 minutes you still can comprehend how that would be possible.

    - if the sound of full auto gun fire makes you feel all warm and fuzzy

    -if you shook the presents under your tree, and one fired a round out of it.

    -if you've spent more money at Midway USA, Brownell's, and Cabela's than the companies are worth.

    -if your will specifies your favorite firearm(s) to be buried with you.

    -if the Glock talk logo is burned into your monitor.

    -if you have had a friend who thought knives were soooo cool and dangerous, then you showed him your AK-47 collection

    -if you wonder why you must renew your CCW license every year, but your marriage license won't expire.

    -if someone asks how many guns you have, and the answer begins with "about" (i.e. "about 50 or so").

    -if you took an ink blot test, and your answers were things like "an AR-15 sear", "bolt release from Ruger 10-22",
    "firing pin from M1911", etc.

    -if you know you carry 45 caliber 230 grain full metal jacketed hydra-shock hollow points from Federal, but don't know the color of your wife's eyes.... her eyes are brown........... I think

    -if you have ever shot a hole in something by accident ..... a buddies floor board of his truck with a 30-30

    -if that something was your TV during a Bush/Gore debate

    -if you buy Hoppe's solvent in 50 gallon drums because your howitzer "likes" it

    -if the gun show owners let you in free.

    -if you named a dog after a gun..... fetch Remington....then she had pups: Ruger, Winchester, Heckler, Koch, Glock, Leupold and Weaver

    -if you name your kids after your guns...... not yet but she isn't due until July

    -if you time yourself each time you fill out one of those yellow forms, and you're down to a minute flat.

    -if NICS put your favorite gun dealer on call block.

    -if you're only dating/marrying a girl so you can shoot her gun collection.

    -if the wallpaper on your desktop is firearm related

    -if the wallpaper in a room of your house is firearm related

    -if you have no wallpaper or house, but live in a dug-out underground bunker to keep your guns safe

    -if CNN does a report on gun control and shows a table of guns from a gun show, and one of them has your name engraved on the side.

    -if you carry pictures of your guns in your wallet ...... don't we all do that?

    -if you ever heard gun shots outside your house late at night, but fell into a state of sheer panic because you couldn't decide which gun to grab.

    -if your favorites in the computer only have one folder, "guns."

    -when your wife has .357 sig brass as earrings

    -at the Tupperware party you show them your Glock

    -your gold tooth is made of melted brass

    -you get arrested for possession of a gram of black powder

    -your kids have Glock as middle names

    -your kids bike is on a bipod

    -you go out with bird watchers with a 3 x 9 scope

    -your walkman is made by Peltor

    -your kids vocabulary consists; ballistics, trajectory, clusters, magnums, parallax

    -Your wife loves to shop at Glockstore, Glockmeister, Topglock etc.

    -You shower the bride and groom with brass

    -You double tap when knocking on doors

    -You get excited when you see the Target store logo

    -You buy your kids a book each and buy yourself five gun magazines

    -Your tennis attire has Glock logos

    -Your Golf bag has a gun compartment

    -You lubricate your kid's bikes with Hoppe's

    -Your banana holds 40 rounds

    -Your car is coated with tennifer

    -You light your charcoal with gun powder

    -Your kids would rather go to a gun show than Kings Dominion or Disney World

    -You are the only one with a vest without a camera

    - If your apartment complex cites -you- as the reason they don't need on-site security.

    - If someone you've never met comes to your door and says, "I was given your name. Can you help me while I get my stuff out of my boyfriend's/husband's apartment?"

    - If the person who gave your name is a local Police Officer.

    - If your local Police Department makes a point of calling you at home to tell you about the sex-offender/felon who just moved into your area.

    - If you've been in a local gun shop and had a sales clerk ask you a question about a firearm, because no one else in the shop knows the answer.

    - If the above occurs so they can make a sale.

    - If one of your local gun shops asks you to come work for them, because you've shown more knowledge than their employees.

    - If the above occurs at a shop you don't normally frequent.

    - If your local Police Department asks you what you think about the new handgun they're thinking about issuing.

    - If you've ever been asked by your local Police Department to bring in one or more of your weapons for them to show off, because they're "Better than this crap we're carrying."

    - If you've ever gotten out of a ticket by offering to take the Officer shooting.

    - If you've ever been pulled over by a Police Officer so she can ask you to take her shooting.

    - If you've ever been pulled over by a local Police Department just so they can ask you a question about one of your weapons, or your ammunition.

    - If you've ever had people fly into the state, or country, just to fire some of your weapons.

    - If you've ever talked about your latest acquisition and heard the words, "How the :)'d you get your hands on that?"

    - If your name has ever been given to a new recruit at your local Police Department along with the words, "Don't bother asking, he's going to have a gun on him somewhere."

    - If your boss has ever given you a box of ammunition as a reward for a 'Job Well Done', and you don't work in a firearms friendly place.

    - If you've ever taken the day off work to go shooting, hunting, to the smith, or to purchase a new handgun, and yet you refuse to call in sick.

    - If your primary requirement for a soft-side briefcase, for work, is how well it can carry one of your preferred sidearms.
  2. Paul Revere

    Paul Revere OT Supporter

    May 19, 2003
    Likes Received:
    Cali-NO NFA-fornia
    i KNOW i have a gun addiction :hs:
  3. Gimik

    Gimik New Member

    Sep 16, 2003
    Likes Received:
    Feenicks, Az
    woah. I got about half way through it :rofl:
  4. sprite

    sprite Active Member

    May 20, 2003
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    MI, USA
    Yeh, couldn't make it all the way through but these were funny:

  5. jeepilot

    jeepilot Banned

    Aug 12, 2005
    Likes Received:
    I sadly apply to more than I should...

    I am a gun addict. Fortunately I don't have the bank to buy what all I really want, or else I might go up on some ATF watchlist.
  6. Keesh

    Keesh Active Member

    Oct 26, 2003
    Likes Received:
    I'm not reading all of that but the ones I read were good :rofl:
  7. twistid

    twistid Banged By Super Models Moderator

    Jul 15, 2001
    Likes Received:
    The Kansass/Oklahomo Border
    i read it all... crap, i'm and addict.
  8. WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot New Member

    Jun 2, 2003
    Likes Received:
    Seattle, WA
  9. zac44

    zac44 New Member

    Feb 8, 2008
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    More than 15 fit for me
    .... have to really think when someone as how many guns I own
  10. acoop101

    acoop101 New Member

    Aug 30, 2007
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    :)I wish more did apply to me, but as a college student I can't afford to.:wtc:
  11. bursty

    bursty New Member

    Jan 26, 2007
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  12. KIDRR

    KIDRR Duck dog>* OT Supporter

    Nov 1, 2004
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    North Mexico

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